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fandomhigh2009-05-13 12:20 am
uptheziggurat.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2009-05-13 12:20 am
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Seven Secrets to Success - Wednesday, 5/13 - Period Five
Rimmer was waiting in the Danger Shop, back stiff and smile smug. The room was set up like the average classroom, with desks and two #2 pencils on each. A copy of the syllabus lay in the exact center of each one, printed out crisp and fresh this morning. If there was a typo (or a complete nervous breakdown) on the sheet, he hadn't noticed as he'd been busy making sure that everything was perfect for his first class.
As soon as he saw his students, he knew that wasn't going to happen. Regardless, he was determined to soldier on, to shape these miscreants into proper Space Corps recruits even if they weren't in the Space Corps.
"Welcome," he said with overblown magnanimity, marching across the room in front of the students, "to Seven Secrets of Success. All of you are here because you want to succeed. You're not willing to settle for... for what life hands you, no" and he turned sharply on his heel to stare at them, "you're looking for more. Up up up the ziggurat, as I always say. You're looking to make the world look up to you. You're looking to make people say 'there's the kind of man I want running my ship; there's a son that I can be proud of; there's a man I'd sleep with sans head injury!'."
He realized he might have gone just a bit far afield and thus took the opportunity to spin again and continue towards the other side of the room.
"So! We will be doing introductions, obviously, but to show you just how accomplished your instructor is, you'll be getting not one secret, but two:
"Getting Straight To Work, one of the most important things to remember if you'd like to succeed. And the other, well," he smirked with hidden knowledge, "you'll just have to see when we get there."
[ocd up]
As soon as he saw his students, he knew that wasn't going to happen. Regardless, he was determined to soldier on, to shape these miscreants into proper Space Corps recruits even if they weren't in the Space Corps.
"Welcome," he said with overblown magnanimity, marching across the room in front of the students, "to Seven Secrets of Success. All of you are here because you want to succeed. You're not willing to settle for... for what life hands you, no" and he turned sharply on his heel to stare at them, "you're looking for more. Up up up the ziggurat, as I always say. You're looking to make the world look up to you. You're looking to make people say 'there's the kind of man I want running my ship; there's a son that I can be proud of; there's a man I'd sleep with sans head injury!'."
He realized he might have gone just a bit far afield and thus took the opportunity to spin again and continue towards the other side of the room.
"So! We will be doing introductions, obviously, but to show you just how accomplished your instructor is, you'll be getting not one secret, but two:
"Getting Straight To Work, one of the most important things to remember if you'd like to succeed. And the other, well," he smirked with hidden knowledge, "you'll just have to see when we get there."
[ocd up]
Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior
"No. Close, though. Try again."
Was this exercise to teach his students something, to torture them, or to amuse himself?
...a little of all three, really.
Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior
Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior
"No."
Wait.
"What?"
He spun around grab the stack of syllabuses from off of his desk and read it over quickly, lips moving as he read and read and HIS EYES WENT WIDE.
"Give me those!" he shouted immediately, "all right, all of you, hand them back. Hand them over. Right now! Hand them back or I fail you this instant!"
Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior
Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior
Actually he was thinking 'smeg smeg smeg smeg smegging smeg' and vaguely blaming Lister even though he wasn't here, which was almost certainly the last thing a student would probably think he was thinking since the word wasn't yet in common usage around here and no one even knew the man on Earth.
Except in certain squid-ink delusions.