Introduction to Cultural Studies 101, Monday, 3rd Period

[jedigrammarians]

"Continuing on our theme of developing important cultural insights, in this case presenting the forbidden but making it alluring." Or at least an insight into Aphra's taste in media. "Today we have Classy Crime Ladies Doing Sexy Crime."

OMG I Could Just PIE - Tuesday, Second Period [07/27].

[somethingwithturquoise]

"Hey, everyone!" Summer greeted the class with the usual excitement for the ensuing WTF-ery, although, especially after last week, she was wondering if some of the charm was wearing off. Was she just too acclimated now to know what was decidedly gross? Were some things actually just not that gross anymore? Who knew? All she really knew for certain was that, at the very least, the next words out of her mouth should cause at least a visceral reaction in some of her students.

"Welcome to Vinegar Day! That's right! We're making Vinegar Pie! And vinegar jello! Because the pie is actually a really simple recipe, so we'll have time for both. It's just going to be a vinegar dessert extravaganza! So, without further ado, let's just get into it!"

The Art of Battle Games - Tuesday, Third Period [07/27].

[sake_shinigami]

Well. It was nice while it lasted, but it appeared as though there was no getting around it this week. Shunsui would...actually have to teach this class. So he was all sighs and waffling while he went to go get the danger shop all set up for the lesson, although he managed to put up a good face when it actually came time to do the thing.

"And welcome," he announced, with a small oomph to it, although that underlying feeling of just simply not wanting to be there and thinking this was all a bit ridiculous was not hiding in it very well, but he smiled all the same, "to our very first actual Battle Game ♥. Through the weeks, you may have picked up the fact that this is designed to turn what might otherwise be considered childrens games played on a playground into a battle tactic and a fighting strategy. Some of these are more evident than others. This week's is a very simple one. This week, we will be playing Takaoni ♥."

Shunsui gave a gesture to the set-up, which involved a rather small, somewhat cramped space. At the center of the room where he stood, there was a table with a variety of weapons on it and, all around them, there were various platforms, ramps, ropes, and poles set all along the way up for a good distance, an amalgamation of a parkour course meeting a rock climbing wall with the full intention of making things a bit difficult for most people.

"Takaoni," Shunsui explained further, "means 'Mountain Demon', and is basically a game of King of the Hill. Whoever has the highest ground wins. The stakes aren't quite as high as they are when I usually play this game," he gave an odd smile at that, "but it's simple enough."

With that, he drew his twin swords, with one evenly matched twirl of them just as much for show as for adjusting his grip on the hilts, and gave them a nod. "I'll see you on the top ♥."

And because he was loathed to put too much effort into any of this, it took Shunsui two inhumanly high leaps to bounce from one platform, to a second, then to the very top to wait for the others to fight their way up to join him, trying to gauge if their skills were all human enough that he could probably squeeze in a good nap before he had to contest with any of them when they got there.

Well, maybe not a nap. But, at the very least, a drink.

Americana! Presented by Sam Eagle, Tuesday Period 4 [7/27]

[but_mostly_america]

Was there a framed photograph of Sam and Captain America hung in a prominent place on the wall behind Sam’s podium in the classroom today? OF COURSE THERE WAS. Do you really think Sam would not proudly display such a thing? That was now his most prized possession.

As always, Sam was extremely punctual and began class exactly on time.

“Welcome back, students! Today we shall be discussing a most American brand, Coca-Cola!” Why? Because they could. Why not? Just be glad there weren’t any polar bears handing out the bottles of Coke Sam had brought in for everyone. Sometimes polar bears on this island didn’t end well.

“One of the most American brands! Recognizable around the world!” Oh look, another slide show. This time with various international Coke logos. “But we are not concerned with the world. We are concerned with America!” This was Sam so that statement shouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone.

“Now, Coca-Cola was at first, a thoroughly unwholesome beverage containing alcohol and cocaine! But it soon became the much more morally sound beverage we have all enjoyed for over a hundred years!” Morality in soda, who would have thought?

“Over one hundred years,” Sam repeated. “An enduring American classic! Classic was even its name for a time, after the debacle that was New Coke. Let us not speak of that. It was a disaster.” A marketing disaster still studied in business classes to this day.

“Some of you may be familiar with some of the more famous advertising campaigns for Coca-Cola in America! All more successful, of course, than New Coke! Polar bears! Santa Claus! I’d Like To Buy The World A Coke!by Don Draper”

“You may recognize the iconic green glass bottle,” Sam continued. “I have brought you each a bottle to sample, should you so choose! Beaker, I do not believe you require any caffeine!”

[I had a Cherry Coke with dinner last night and this happened idek.]

Fire & Rescue Bootcamp, Tuesday, session 1

[designateddadfriend]

Why did his class have to happen so early? Travis had been in Seattle until the last possible moment, staying up to have a post-shift day-drink with Vic, and was now back, freshly portalled in, exhausted and vaguely tipsy, and wishing he could have caught a quick nap before having to play drill sergeant to a bunch of pre-probies.

"Mornin'," he said, squinting at them in the empty Danger Shop (yeah, he still didn't know how that thing worked). "Today we're . . . hoses. They're heavy. Everything is heavy. Drag 'em around. Hook 'em up. Spray things with them. Not each other. That hurts." He looked around, scowling faintly. "How is there no coffee in here?"

Maybe next week he'd learn how to actually program things.

Scamming Nobles Etc., Tuesday, Fifth Period

[tellmehowstuffworks]

"The question is," Yennefer said to her class, "how do you get anyone to give you what you want? And the answer is simple: mind control give them what they want. Or at least make them think they're getting what they want. How you do that is going to be completely dependent upon the scenario, so how, then, do you figure out what someone really wants? Just asking is no use; for one thing it's completely obvious, for another they may not tell you...or they may not know themselves. Therefore, step one is to observe your target. Listen to what they say, and to what they don't say. Consider what you would want in their shoes. Perhaps what a busy man really wants is a break. Perhaps a small man in a position much too big for him wants to feel powerful and honored. Figure out what they want, and then you can figure out how to give it to them."

She pressed a button on the remote, and a certain king who might be familiar to some of the students from past classes, or their own history lessons, appeared. "This is...I'm told his name is 'Henry,' actually. Henry has a lot of gold, and a very comfortable castle, which you want access to. What does Henry want?"

"Sons!" Henry bellowed.

Yennefer nodded. "Henry wants sons. Straightforward enough. Couple of small problems with that, of course: for one, you're not planning to marry him, and for another, some of you may not be capable of childbearing. So, you need to figure out how to give him what he wants, but first you need to figure out what he really wants. Why does Henry want sons? What is at the root of this desire, and how can you use it to further your goals? Discuss."