Journalism: Thursday, Period 4, Class 7

[trustshisbarber.livejournal.com]

"Making it quick and easy this week. Horoscopes are crap, presented by charlatans, crazy people, Toby, and people who just have nothing better to do," Jonah said. "Astrologists claim to give predictions for people based on their birthdays. It's broken up into twelve signs: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces. It doesn't matter what they are or where they fall because it's all crap."

"So, to make all of our lives easier, just dive right in and tell everyone in the world what their futures are based on when they were born. And throw out some lucky numbers while you're at it. Get to work!"

[OOC: Oh, and if any of the tired, sexless students want to cause a disruption and get a detention, just let me know. :D ]

Comments

Re: Discussion [Class 7]

[peace_n_war]

Warren didn't really have to think hard before he came up with twelve horoscopes.

Aries: Don't piss off Warren. He will burn you.
Taurus: Don't piss off Warren. He will barbecue you.
Gemini: Don't piss off Warren. He'll burn you twice.
Cancer: Crab bake. Seriously.
Leo: Piss off Warren, he'll light your hair on fire.
Virgo: You get burned even more thoroughly, because as a virgin, you have no idea why this week sucks so much.
Libra: If you bother Warren? Justice will be met. With fire.
Scorpio: You think desert heat is hot?
Sagittarius: Kill it with fire.
Capricorn: Kill it with fire and then let a goat piss in the ashes.
Aquarius: I don't care if you're a water sign. That's what oil spills are for.
Pisces: You're lucky fish are quiet. You get to live.

So far as Warren was concerned, they were really self-fulfilling prophecies.

Re: Discussion [Class 7]

[trustshisbarber.livejournal.com]

"Too self-congratulatory and threatening," Jonah said. "Especially since there are a good number of people in the country who don't know a Warren. However, it is horoscopes, so a) nobody who matters really cares that much, and b) the people who care about this crap and don't know a Warren will be expecting to meet one any day after reading that. Decent job."

Re: Discussion [Class 7]

[peace_n_war]

... Warren could live with 'decent.'

"Horoscopes are crap," he intoned with a shrug. "But thanks."