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The Chef, wearing pants today, walked into the cafeteria looking befuddled. He started rifling through cabinets and drawers, muttering to himself. Das Schniztel walks into the cafeteria and watches the Chef for a few minutes before asking him what he was looking for.

"Sumetheeng is nut reeght Schneetzel my luve-a. I du nut feel leeke-a myselff. Su I theenk thet meybe-a I'fe-a lust sumetheeng und I'm tryeeng tu feend it. I joost veesh I knoo vhet I lost."

Das Schnitzel agreed with Chef. Something was off about him. She looked him over. Pants, check. Apron, check. Bow tie, Check. Hat...hat? With a loud squawk Das Schntizel pointed at the Chef's head.

"Oh Mamma! My het! My vunderffool het! A Cheff cunnut cuuk veethuoot hees het! He-a is a mere-a handler ooff fuud veet nu het! I cunnut gu oon! Bork Bo-...I cunnut Bork!"

The Chef falls to his knees and begins to sob. Das Schnitzel puts a wing around his shoulder and tries to soothe him. She only leaves him once to post a sign that says:

NO FOOD WILL BE SERVED TODAY AS THE CHEF HAS LOST HIS CHEF'S HAT. ANY INFOMATION REGARDING THIS WILL BE APPREICIATED. AND IF I FIND OUT THAT ANY OF YOU PUNKS STOLE THE CHEF'S HAT YOU WILL HAVE DAS M. SCHNITZEL TO DEAL WITH! I AM LIKE PRINCIPAL CONNOR WITH FEATHERS!

((About the icon...um, he's the third cousin of Ronald McDonald?))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Das Schnitzel gives a thankful cluck to Hamlet and gives the Chef the hat. Chef takes it in his hands and burst into more tears before burying his face in the hat. Das Schnitzel clucks in a way that says "He's such a drama queen."

*Gritting his teeth, and thinking to himself that this is exactly the reason why he can't get revenge on anybody, Hamlet plops down next to the chef and gives him a couple pats on the back, hoping that his black cap will be alright with all those muppet tears falling on it.*

There there. When and where were you last aware of possessing this hat that your "Greedma" gave to you? There are only a limited number of places that such an item could have disappeared too, and I'm sure that some through searching will discover it and get you back to your... "normal" self.

Unless it got into that cursed locker, then who knows where it might be.

"Vell...I knoo it ves oon vhee I ves shooereeng thees murneeng. Zeen I vent fur my murneeng jug eruoond zee leke-a...und zeen effter thet I seem tu be-a draweeng a blunk..."

"Furst my punts und zeen my het! Sumebudy vunts tu see-a zee Cheff's fuull monty und by geurge thet is nut heppeneeng!"

He looks at Hamlet with a newfound bravery in his eyes.

"Thees punts und het steeler veell nut get me doon! Yuoo hefe-a giivee me zee veell tu muve-a oon! I veell nut rest unteel my het is beck tu me-a! Bork Bork Bork!"

Das Schnitzel clucks in a way that says "What did I tell you? Dramatic."

*The image of the Chef's Full Monty pops into his mind, and Hamlet nearly vomits. He looks to the chicken for help, half-getting what she's saying.*

I know I am going to regret this later...