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The Chef, wearing pants today, walked into the cafeteria looking befuddled. He started rifling through cabinets and drawers, muttering to himself. Das Schniztel walks into the cafeteria and watches the Chef for a few minutes before asking him what he was looking for.

"Sumetheeng is nut reeght Schneetzel my luve-a. I du nut feel leeke-a myselff. Su I theenk thet meybe-a I'fe-a lust sumetheeng und I'm tryeeng tu feend it. I joost veesh I knoo vhet I lost."

Das Schnitzel agreed with Chef. Something was off about him. She looked him over. Pants, check. Apron, check. Bow tie, Check. Hat...hat? With a loud squawk Das Schntizel pointed at the Chef's head.

"Oh Mamma! My het! My vunderffool het! A Cheff cunnut cuuk veethuoot hees het! He-a is a mere-a handler ooff fuud veet nu het! I cunnut gu oon! Bork Bo-...I cunnut Bork!"

The Chef falls to his knees and begins to sob. Das Schnitzel puts a wing around his shoulder and tries to soothe him. She only leaves him once to post a sign that says:

NO FOOD WILL BE SERVED TODAY AS THE CHEF HAS LOST HIS CHEF'S HAT. ANY INFOMATION REGARDING THIS WILL BE APPREICIATED. AND IF I FIND OUT THAT ANY OF YOU PUNKS STOLE THE CHEF'S HAT YOU WILL HAVE DAS M. SCHNITZEL TO DEAL WITH! I AM LIKE PRINCIPAL CONNOR WITH FEATHERS!

((About the icon...um, he's the third cousin of Ronald McDonald?))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*Hamlet passes by the cafeteria and snickers at seeing target #32 on his "to revenge upon" list unable to cook and harm the student body, but... Seeing the chef's sobs of grief begins to work on the heart underneath the Hamlet's surly exterior. Sighing at himself for his weakness, he heads back to his room to get something.*

Don't cry. I'm sure it will eventually turn up. Er, if you'd care for something to protect your head in the meantime...

*Offers a black baseball cap with the word "ELSINORE" written across it in gothic red letters. And a book titled "30 Edible Recipes for the Student on the Go".*

[OOC: Love the hair.]

Das Schnitzel gives a thankful cluck to Hamlet and gives the Chef the hat. Chef takes it in his hands and burst into more tears before burying his face in the hat. Das Schnitzel clucks in a way that says "He's such a drama queen."

*Gritting his teeth, and thinking to himself that this is exactly the reason why he can't get revenge on anybody, Hamlet plops down next to the chef and gives him a couple pats on the back, hoping that his black cap will be alright with all those muppet tears falling on it.*

There there. When and where were you last aware of possessing this hat that your "Greedma" gave to you? There are only a limited number of places that such an item could have disappeared too, and I'm sure that some through searching will discover it and get you back to your... "normal" self.

Unless it got into that cursed locker, then who knows where it might be.

"Vell...I knoo it ves oon vhee I ves shooereeng thees murneeng. Zeen I vent fur my murneeng jug eruoond zee leke-a...und zeen effter thet I seem tu be-a draweeng a blunk..."

"Furst my punts und zeen my het! Sumebudy vunts tu see-a zee Cheff's fuull monty und by geurge thet is nut heppeneeng!"

He looks at Hamlet with a newfound bravery in his eyes.

"Thees punts und het steeler veell nut get me doon! Yuoo hefe-a giivee me zee veell tu muve-a oon! I veell nut rest unteel my het is beck tu me-a! Bork Bork Bork!"

Das Schnitzel clucks in a way that says "What did I tell you? Dramatic."

*The image of the Chef's Full Monty pops into his mind, and Hamlet nearly vomits. He looks to the chicken for help, half-getting what she's saying.*

I know I am going to regret this later...

"Hey, Chef.." Kawalsky stops when he sees the Chef's hat is gone. That hair is just unnatural. It's like it's been animated to life by the fumes of many semi-sentient meals over the years. "If you've lost your hat, you should maybe ask The Tick to investigate. I'd volunteer, being a fledgling superhero and all, but.." His words trail off into a mumble as he walks off.

Das Schnitzel gives a grateful cluck. And continues to console the Chef who was now mumbling something about how his "Greedma" gave him that hat.

OOC: It's alright. I've decided the Chef should grab a slice of the angst cake that's being served here.

OOC: And he's doing so well! Poor Chef. Poor hat.

Xander, hungry enough to duck into the cafeteria despite his personal safety plan of living off the free junkfood Professor Ted hands out on Music class, notes the sobbing Chef, and reads the sign.

"Oh, man. That's... uh. Rough. What ~~crazy~~ bastard would want to steal something that's ~~actually touched that radioactive mass of fuzz on top of your head~~ obviously got such sentimental value?"