fandomhigh | Journalism: Thursday, Period 4, Class 5

The fact that Jonah was wearing a giant bow on his head didn't seem to phase him as he started to speak today. "First things first, pass up your interview articles so I can skim them and tear them apart for everyone to hear. Come on, hurry up!"

After that was all done, Jonah moved on to today's lesson. "Reviews. They're the magical part of the newspaper that tells people how good or how horrible things are on a four star scale. It's completely subjective, so your biases are able to come out completely and influence you all you want. And everything needs to be reviewed! Food? Movies? Plays that nobody's ever going to see? If they don't have stars next to them, then they barely exist."

"Good reviews should be written with four things in mind. First, giving it a star value where one is crap, two is slightly better than crap, three is okay, and four is excellent. Second, your article should have something to do with the number of stars you gave it. Don't give me any Roger Ebert crap where you spend half a page complaining about a movie you gave three and a half stars to. Third, explain your biases so people know why you're giving a piece of crap action movie four stars even though it stars someone who couldn't act even if he was being paid millions of dollars to do just that. Fourth, remember that most people who read your review will never bother experiencing whatever it is you reviewed and will use your arguments when they talk about whatever it is you reviewed. It's healthy to develop contempt for those people early so it doesn't shock you later."

"So, homework again this week. Find something and review it. There are plenty of restaurants on the island, you all have access to movies on cable, and you're all halfway creative people so I'll trust you to figure something out. Get to it!"

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Rikku was here! ~~Late from the plague okay.~~ Rocking the hell out of the hat.

"My hat feels less cool since everyone has one," Rikku announced to JJJ as she set down his coffee.

Somehow, the 'gofer' part of this job had yet to bother her.

Jonah ~~who also had the plague, zomg,~~ said, "Your hat feels less cool because it's not cool. It's just a giant bow. Thanks for the coffee."

"It sparkles," Rikku said, rolling her eyes as if that explained everything. "Why don't you want me publishing Toby's article, anyway?"

"I never said that I don't want you publishing it," Jonah pointed out. "But if you did, I'd have to write a letter yelling at you about how nobody needs or wants to know that much about any teacher's sex life or dedication to hair care, and if people do want to know, then they're very likely weirdo freaks."

"Okay," Rikku chirped. "And then the next week, my topic for my intro blurb can be how controversial last week's interview was, and how hard it is for me as an editor to toe the line between news and gossip. I can publish your letter and ask people for their insights, on the matter. So ... I'm filling inches like crazy, here."

Rikku's priorities did not necessarily include journalistic integrity.

Edited 2009-02-06 03:09 (UTC)

Jonah thought about this. "Still not the way I'd go with it, but it's clever. And it never hurts circulation to cause a little controversy."

"Really, I'm just happy if I get enough contributions that I don't have to make things up myself," she shared. "What would you do, instead?"

"I wouldn't print the article," Jonah said. "And I'd probably write an editorial myself. Then again, I really enjoy writing editorials."

"Any time you want to contribute a guest-editorial, feel free," Rikku said lightly. "We have the room. I could make you your own little header, even."

She sort of enjoyed that part.

Journalism: Thursday, Period 4, Class 5

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