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fandomhigh2009-02-05 12:23 am
trustshisbarber.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2009-02-05 12:23 am
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Journalism: Thursday, Period 4, Class 5
The fact that Jonah was wearing a giant bow on his head didn't seem to phase him as he started to speak today. "First things first, pass up your interview articles so I can skim them and tear them apart for everyone to hear. Come on, hurry up!"
After that was all done, Jonah moved on to today's lesson. "Reviews. They're the magical part of the newspaper that tells people how good or how horrible things are on a four star scale. It's completely subjective, so your biases are able to come out completely and influence you all you want. And everything needs to be reviewed! Food? Movies? Plays that nobody's ever going to see? If they don't have stars next to them, then they barely exist."
"Good reviews should be written with four things in mind. First, giving it a star value where one is crap, two is slightly better than crap, three is okay, and four is excellent. Second, your article should have something to do with the number of stars you gave it. Don't give me any Roger Ebert crap where you spend half a page complaining about a movie you gave three and a half stars to. Third, explain your biases so people know why you're giving a piece of crap action movie four stars even though it stars someone who couldn't act even if he was being paid millions of dollars to do just that. Fourth, remember that most people who read your review will never bother experiencing whatever it is you reviewed and will use your arguments when they talk about whatever it is you reviewed. It's healthy to develop contempt for those people early so it doesn't shock you later."
"So, homework again this week. Find something and review it. There are plenty of restaurants on the island, you all have access to movies on cable, and you're all halfway creative people so I'll trust you to figure something out. Get to it!"
After that was all done, Jonah moved on to today's lesson. "Reviews. They're the magical part of the newspaper that tells people how good or how horrible things are on a four star scale. It's completely subjective, so your biases are able to come out completely and influence you all you want. And everything needs to be reviewed! Food? Movies? Plays that nobody's ever going to see? If they don't have stars next to them, then they barely exist."
"Good reviews should be written with four things in mind. First, giving it a star value where one is crap, two is slightly better than crap, three is okay, and four is excellent. Second, your article should have something to do with the number of stars you gave it. Don't give me any Roger Ebert crap where you spend half a page complaining about a movie you gave three and a half stars to. Third, explain your biases so people know why you're giving a piece of crap action movie four stars even though it stars someone who couldn't act even if he was being paid millions of dollars to do just that. Fourth, remember that most people who read your review will never bother experiencing whatever it is you reviewed and will use your arguments when they talk about whatever it is you reviewed. It's healthy to develop contempt for those people early so it doesn't shock you later."
"So, homework again this week. Find something and review it. There are plenty of restaurants on the island, you all have access to movies on cable, and you're all halfway creative people so I'll trust you to figure something out. Get to it!"
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