fandomhigh | Sex Ed, Monday [1-19] Third Period

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Sex Ed, Monday [1-19] Third Period

"I hope everyone had a nice, quiet Sunday," Steve said, "though somehow I suspect that was not the case. Right, so, last week we talked about contraception, because I think that was important to address first. This week, we're going to start talking about why you need contraception."

"Venereal diseases are those transmitted by sexual contact between an infected and uninfected person. It is possible to have relations with a person who is infected with a venereal disease without catching it, but it's a little bit like playing Russian Roulette, so, don't. If you suspect you have a venereal disease--if you're experiencing itching or burning or anything generally weird, ahem, down there, please do not hesitate to go to the clinic or to your preferred health care professional. They have seen it all before; they will not laugh at you. Some venereal diseases are curable, while some are curable if caught in time. Others are treatable, but not curable. If you have a VD, you are morally obligated, and in some cases legally so, to tell any prospective partners your status.

"So. Rather than me stand up here and lecture you about all this, or show you horror show slides of what can happen to your, er, bits, we're going to have an interactive activity. I have here a basket full of toy microbes associated with venereal diseases. And mono. Additionally, each of you should have a handout on your desk. Pass the basket around, pick a toy, then tell the class something about that disease that explains why it would be a bad thing to have. If you want, the toys are yours to keep. Any questions?"

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Like you don't have VD.

Edmund Pevensie

Ned

Alice Liddell

Hyuuga Hinata

Jeff Murdock

Liir Thropp

Éowyn

Dinah Lance

Priestly

Helen Haras-Uquara

Harper Finkle

Penelope Wilhern

Van Helsing, G. M.

Alex Russo

Sookie Stackhouse

Gwen Cooper

Eric van der Woodsen

Blush, pass notes, doze off, freak out at the contents of your handout. Etc.

Ned chose the blushing option, yes. He'd looked up things on pregnancy but he'd missed this part of the whole sex thing.

Oh dear.

Alice should have been mortified, as a proper Victorian and all, and instead, she was darkly fascinated by all of the information.

No one had warned her of these sorts of things. Babies, yes, but not possibly developing incurable diseases.

Alice was beginning to wonder that people had sex at all.

Having heard about such things as a very young child (a result of hanging about soldiers), Liir didn't actually blush. He just sort of winced.

Éowyn was never going to have sex at this rate. Ever.

Dinah had heard most of this before, but still found it gruesome. Although she hadn't known about the legal aspects. Whoa.

Priestly was pretty bored until the stuffed microbes were mentioned.

Those things were awesome.

Harper was still pouting over that boy who called her yesterday and said she was a slut. She frowned even more as she read over the handout.

Penelope blushed. A lot.

Van Helsing reads over the contents of the handout and, mostly, just looks very very confused.

Another reason to never have sex ever ever ever ever ever.

Like Sookie needed another one.

Pick a toy, then tell the class why it sucks.

"Uh, I've got...the clap." Wait. "Not really! I mean, I picked the clap microbe. And it sucks because things...discharge and there's pain and possibly grossness."

Ned turned red. Big time.

"I've just been infected with herpes," Alice announced, holding the yellow microbe (http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/herpes.html) in the air. "Which is not nearly so pleasant as one might assume, from the cheery look of this toy. It seems to involve some very painful-looking blisters, in unmentionable locations - ones that itch and burn. This will come in recurring outbreaks, as there is no cure for this poor fellow, only ways to reduce the severity and frequency of those hideous blisters."

He held up a pink swirly thing (http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/pox.html).

"Er, the pox is... I had no idea it was that..." he breathed in, "well, it requires direct contact and causes lesions. And sometimes they go away but it's only temporary."

Beat.

"Poor Kobbleton."

"I have...something which I cannot pronounce," Éowyn said, holding her green toy (http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/chlamydia.html) up. "But it is apparently very common and is a cause for blindness."

She was not thinking about men she knew who had lost their sight, not at all.

"Mono!" Dinah said, so relieved to have gotten something relatively innocuous that she almost chirped it. She held up her little pink plushy and made it wave at everyone. "Infection mononucleosis, which gets you fever, fatigue, and sore throat. And you can get liver or spleen damage if you don't rest and take care of yourself. Plus it sucks because it's got an incubation period of 8 weeks, so if you kiss a lot of people you could infect half the school."

Priestly held up a little fuzzy black ball with a red ribbon on it, lifting it carefully up by his shoulder so it didn't blend in too much with his black "surf naked" t-shirt. "HIV. Precursor to AIDs. Pretty sure all my contemporaries already know all about this one -- and if not, you should be ashamed -- but for the otherworldly and/or historical folks, this thing sucks ass. It totally destroys your immune system so you catch every little disease that comes your way, and they haven't found a cure yet. Just a huge, very expensive drug cocktail that will probably keep some of the more common sicknesses away. Seriously, this sucker's like a guaranteed death sentence." Priestly tossed the black microbe into the air a few times. "Yet surprisingly cute."

"Hepatitis C," Helen announced, holding up the icky yellow thing. "There are apparently several different forms of hepatitis, all doing bad things to your liver. There is no vaccine for the C form of it however."

For a certain Mr. Stark, should he choose to show up.

He would certainly object to being called the 'peanut gallery'. He was only there to show support to a friend.

And smirk every time Steve looked uncomfortable.

"I didn't know they made toys of those."

"Rachel sent me a boxful when I told her what I was teaching." After she stopped laughing. "Apparently you can buy them on the internet." He sounded doubtful about that.

"Well, at least I have an idea for a gift to get me out of being invited to another wedding here."

"Catch," Steve said, and ~~gave him the pox~~ tossed Tony a toy syphilis.

"I could say something about you wanting to drive me crazy, but they really are cute, aren't they?"

"Kinda," Steve said. "Yeah. In a disturbing sort of way."

"If you didn't tell someone what they were, I'm sure it would be fine," Tony said, holding Syphilis up.

Before and after class, he is here for you.

My mom has a bucketload of Giant Microbes from a science teachers' convention. I keep threatening to steal them from her, they're so cute.

*pats them!* Heee. It's the eyes. They want you to take them home with you!

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Sex Ed, Monday [1-19] Third Period

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