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fandomhigh2008-11-05 04:25 pm
rocksthescarf.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2008-11-05 04:25 pm
Entry tags:
Sex Ed, Wednesday, Period Two, Class #9
Edward wasn't in class today. But there was a note written up on the board:
I apologize for my absence in class today.
Hand in your infant simulators to the TA's and then please spend the class period discussing the benefits of abstinence.
I will see you all next week
- Professor Cullen
Chuck read the board and clearly understood what Professor Cullen wanted. Then he decided to ignore it.
He hopped up to the front of the class with a smirk on his face. "Hello, children. A couple weeks ago Mr. Cullen decided to give me the opportunity to share my views with the class and, honestly, I can't think of a better time than now to do so. He's not here to glower at me creepily."
He smiled, looking way more happy and positive than usual. It wasn't every day he got to lecture about sex. Actually...it was every day that he got to do that. But today was the first time he did it in a professional matter. "My insight on sex is slightly different than Mr. Cullen's view. Very different, actually, since I'm a big fan of premarital sex. I won't deny it and I won't be ashamed of it. Sex is great. Everybody should have it as often as they can. It feels good, is a great stress reliever and it's damn good exercise."
"Sex does not make you immoral if you have it before marriage. It is also not a sacred act. It's screwing. Cows do it and I'm pretty sure they don't wait for that one true bull to come and sweep them off their feet. Being a virgin does not make you better than everybody else, nor does it make you a saint," Chuck said, looking pointedly at Blair. "Don't knock something until you try it."
"If you do it the right way you'll be able to provide someone with a lot of pleasure. And by the "right way" I don't mean just by using protection even though, yes, you should. I'm talking about different techniques and tricks you learn after spending, ah, plenty of quality time with the opposite sex. Or same sex. Whatever," Chuck said, shrugging. "Getting off is getting off, no matter who you're with. The point is, practice makes perfect."
"In conclusion, you can indeed have sex with one person and make them happy and, really, that's wonderful," Chuck said, rolling his eyes. "I prefer to make a lot of people happy. Then I would like them to go off and make other people happy. Now tell me what's wrong with that?"
Chuck smirked again. "There are several girls in this school who have first-hand experience having sex with me. I'm sure if you ask them about their experience they will have nothing but good things to say. I'm extremely, ah, giving when I want to be."
"Right. Well, that's enough class for one day. You can go, but, please, express your feelings on this lecture to our very pale teacher next week," he said. Chuck would love to see Edward's reaction. "I suppose I'll stick around after class to answer any questions. But not for long. I've got better things to do than hang around a classroom all day."
[OCD up!]
I apologize for my absence in class today.
Hand in your infant simulators to the TA's and then please spend the class period discussing the benefits of abstinence.
I will see you all next week
- Professor Cullen
Chuck read the board and clearly understood what Professor Cullen wanted. Then he decided to ignore it.
He hopped up to the front of the class with a smirk on his face. "Hello, children. A couple weeks ago Mr. Cullen decided to give me the opportunity to share my views with the class and, honestly, I can't think of a better time than now to do so. He's not here to glower at me creepily."
He smiled, looking way more happy and positive than usual. It wasn't every day he got to lecture about sex. Actually...it was every day that he got to do that. But today was the first time he did it in a professional matter. "My insight on sex is slightly different than Mr. Cullen's view. Very different, actually, since I'm a big fan of premarital sex. I won't deny it and I won't be ashamed of it. Sex is great. Everybody should have it as often as they can. It feels good, is a great stress reliever and it's damn good exercise."
"Sex does not make you immoral if you have it before marriage. It is also not a sacred act. It's screwing. Cows do it and I'm pretty sure they don't wait for that one true bull to come and sweep them off their feet. Being a virgin does not make you better than everybody else, nor does it make you a saint," Chuck said, looking pointedly at Blair. "Don't knock something until you try it."
"If you do it the right way you'll be able to provide someone with a lot of pleasure. And by the "right way" I don't mean just by using protection even though, yes, you should. I'm talking about different techniques and tricks you learn after spending, ah, plenty of quality time with the opposite sex. Or same sex. Whatever," Chuck said, shrugging. "Getting off is getting off, no matter who you're with. The point is, practice makes perfect."
"In conclusion, you can indeed have sex with one person and make them happy and, really, that's wonderful," Chuck said, rolling his eyes. "I prefer to make a lot of people happy. Then I would like them to go off and make other people happy. Now tell me what's wrong with that?"
Chuck smirked again. "There are several girls in this school who have first-hand experience having sex with me. I'm sure if you ask them about their experience they will have nothing but good things to say. I'm extremely, ah, giving when I want to be."
"Right. Well, that's enough class for one day. You can go, but, please, express your feelings on this lecture to our very pale teacher next week," he said. Chuck would love to see Edward's reaction. "I suppose I'll stick around after class to answer any questions. But not for long. I've got better things to do than hang around a classroom all day."
[OCD up!]
Re: Listen to the Lecture