fandomhigh | Survive Your Own Cooking - 3rd period

Today there was a wide assortment of delicious ~~and moddable~~ fruit and alcohol in the dangershoppe kitchen. How and why Deadpool had managed to grab hold of a durian fruit, was best left unasked.

He also was in possession of a lemming. In a plastic hamster ball.

(Stupid Nate.)

"Gooood morning kiddos. As you may have noticed, there is alcohol around so this means you all need to be on your best behavior and not start drinking right now. And now just because it's before noon and that would be considered either alcoholism or camping. And I don't see and tents nearby so..."

Some time during this lecture on alcoholism, the plastic ball glowed faintly blue in a way that implied telekinesis was being used on it. It was lifted up into the air and onto Deadpool's desk behind him.

"...Don't drink kids and cook kids. It'll only end in horrible accidents that will scar you for life."

Once on the desk, the lemming steadfastly rolled for the edge. Run little lemming, run!

There was a cracking noise as the plastic ball, and lemming, hit the ground and Deadpool's attention turned away from teaching about booze. "Stop trying to do that! I'm not letting you out of the ball, you'll only give into your natural urge to hurl yourself off of things."

A beat.

"AGAIN. Okay class, how about this? If you can make delicious things with fire and alcohol and keep an eye on him so he doesn't escape, you all get an A for the day."

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Jamie tended to get that look a lot so he wasn't phased by it.

Even if it was from a lemming.

"See here's the deal... you want out, right?"

He might have been a lemming, but that didn't mean he didn't recognize a bad deal coming if he heard one. Which meant his only reply was to keep on glaring, and possibly jostle the ball a little in a vaguely threatening way.

"How about I let you out and I visit no... unbusiness like activity when I visit?" Jamie offered. "Know what I mean?"

The lemming scowled at Jamie as if to say, who do you really think you are trying to kid?

That, or he was trying to wash his nose. Distinctions were kind of hard at this scale.

"Aww. Do you have an itchy nose?" Jamie cooed.

For a moment, the ball shook with blue telekinetic energy and lifted up into the air.

Then it flopped back down on the desk. That action left an oddly threatening crunching noise in its wake.

"Hey that was neat!" Jamie said appreciatively. "At least for a lemming. Anyway, do we have a deal or not?"

The lemming shook his head.

You could almost catch it if you looked very closely.

"No?"

Jamie shrugged and pulled out his cellphone. "Suit yourself. Just let me get a picture of you here so I can share it back home with Guido."

Jamie's cellphone suddenly hummed a suspicious blue. It was a warning that didn't last more than a second.

The next moment, the object in question had gone flying straight up at Jamie's head.

This, they would say, was lemming justice.

"OW!" said the two Jamie's holding their foreheads.

"Okay, there's no reason for violence here!"

The lemming just produced what could only be described as the lemming equivalent of a smirk, and curled up in his ball.

He was having trouble resisting the urge to groom his behind.

Jamie scowled a bit and when he thought Deadpool wasn't looking attempted to give the ball a little push towards the edge.

The lemming, being altogether for any actions that might free him from his confines, did not object to the push.

He remained where he was for another moment before rolling the last few inches off the desk.

Still no success.

Survive Your Own Cooking - 3rd period - (10/22)

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