fandomhigh | Survive Your Own Cooking - 3rd period

After the ~~handwavey~~ announcement that class was happening in the Danger ~~Zone~~ ~~Room~~ Shop, Deadpool was there. Laying in wait for his new class to arrive.

Like a big cat. A puma, if you will.

A very red and slightly bored puma.

"Good morning my intrepid class of chef wannabes!" Not that he had much, or any talent there himself. "This is a class on cooking in a way that you can both survive and eat. A great concept, right? No more microwaving that questionable bit of Chinese food from a week ago that kinda looks different than when you first bought it, and you think my be becoming sentient."

Not that that had ever happened to him or anything.

"--and then you eat it and you have the weirdest damn dreams and the vague idea that your lower intestine are trying to kill you with a weetiny angry mob that's stabbing it's way out," He continued cheerfully.

After a moment of glaring at his stomach area, Deadpool shook his head. "Nevermind that! First day of class means I don't have to plan things for you and you have to tell me about yourselves, even though I don't really care. So... make things up! It'll be so much more fun for us all."

He pointed at the nearest student. "Name, age, favorite food and... the last time you had food poisoning. And make it interesting!"

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"I'm John, 17 and a senior," he smiled, thrilled to play the introduction game, really. "I don't like cooking, but I can make pasta and sandwiches. Preferably turkey. Oh, and cereal."

"Sure you can," Deadpool replied, more than a little happy at having the fatty in his class. "All those carbs. Straight to your hips."

"Guess it's a good thing my hips are narrow, then," John said, not even looking to make sure. "What's obsession with food poisoning? Have some bad sushi last night?"

"Well it's a very personal experience and it brings us together as a class to share."

"Well, the sharing is making me hungry. Shouldn't you be doing a cooking demonstration or something?" Why John would even consider eating something Deadpool would prepare was beyond anyone's understanding. "I could go for some pudding."

Because he was fat. That was why.

"Next week! We'll make something for you to eat until you pass out."

"Good thing I don't have any classes after lunch then." John would be more than happy to go from class to afternoon napping.

Survive Your Own Cooking - 3rd period - (9/3)

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