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fandomhigh2008-07-21 01:01 am
baskiceball.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2008-07-21 01:01 am
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Relationships: How To Do It The Right Way - Monday - Period Three
Marshall was still dressed like a pirate when he held class on Monday. He didn’t seem to be too perturbed about it. Pirates wore some pretty comfy clothing, even if they were kind of hot.
“Okay guys, so you’ve asked somebody out on a date and they accepted. Yay! Now you have to not make an ass out of yourself on said date,” he said. “That’s harder than it sounds.”
“The number one rule on going on dates? Relax. Be yourself. Nobody likes a lying spaz,” Marshall said. “Dress casual, but not too casual. Unless you’re going to someplace fancy then ignore what I just said and dress appropriately. Comfort is key. You want to be comfortable, you want your date to be comfortable, you want people around you to be comfortable. PDA is gross.”
“There are certain topics you want to avoid in conversation on the first date. Ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, for example. Stories about one night stands. Actually, anything involving graphic sexual detail should be avoided until the third or fourth date. It’s just polite,” he said. “Talking about work or your family is always good. But be careful and pay attention to your date to make sure you’re not hitting a sore point with them. You guys have talked to people before, you know what to do and say.”
“First dates are a lot like going out with your friends except you don’t know them as well and you’re not trying to wingman for them or engage in beer chugging contests. Pretty much the same thing, except for one thing: the good night kiss. This is pretty important and takes some skill. You want to go over a few things in your head. Had the date gone well? Does she have the crazy eyes? Did you have garlic for dinner?” Marshall asked. “If the answers to those questions are “yes”, “no” and “it’s okay, I’ve got mints”, then you’re okay to go in for kissage. But you have to wait for the signal.”
“The signal can be anything from an eye flutter or a sensual lean against the doorway,” Marshall demonstrated them both. “Or maybe he or she will lean in to touch your shoulder or laugh at a really bad joke of yours. A signal is not when he’s sitting in a chair and trying to enjoy a beer, Barney!”
Marshall coughed. “Anyways. First date kisses should be brief and with minimal groping but not completely wussified. Get a little mouth action but not the CW frantic “oh-em-gee this is a mistake--is that a Sum 41 song playing in the background--backseat gropefest”. Jeez, those kids never think through their hookups. Makes me so damn mad.”
“Okay, I believe I’ve scared you enough for one day. Today I want you guys to practice giving the signal to each other…not dirty. Just stop before the kissing actually happens. Try not to be paired up with somebody who already knows your signal. That’s cheating.”
[OCD up]
“Okay guys, so you’ve asked somebody out on a date and they accepted. Yay! Now you have to not make an ass out of yourself on said date,” he said. “That’s harder than it sounds.”
“The number one rule on going on dates? Relax. Be yourself. Nobody likes a lying spaz,” Marshall said. “Dress casual, but not too casual. Unless you’re going to someplace fancy then ignore what I just said and dress appropriately. Comfort is key. You want to be comfortable, you want your date to be comfortable, you want people around you to be comfortable. PDA is gross.”
“There are certain topics you want to avoid in conversation on the first date. Ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, for example. Stories about one night stands. Actually, anything involving graphic sexual detail should be avoided until the third or fourth date. It’s just polite,” he said. “Talking about work or your family is always good. But be careful and pay attention to your date to make sure you’re not hitting a sore point with them. You guys have talked to people before, you know what to do and say.”
“First dates are a lot like going out with your friends except you don’t know them as well and you’re not trying to wingman for them or engage in beer chugging contests. Pretty much the same thing, except for one thing: the good night kiss. This is pretty important and takes some skill. You want to go over a few things in your head. Had the date gone well? Does she have the crazy eyes? Did you have garlic for dinner?” Marshall asked. “If the answers to those questions are “yes”, “no” and “it’s okay, I’ve got mints”, then you’re okay to go in for kissage. But you have to wait for the signal.”
“The signal can be anything from an eye flutter or a sensual lean against the doorway,” Marshall demonstrated them both. “Or maybe he or she will lean in to touch your shoulder or laugh at a really bad joke of yours. A signal is not when he’s sitting in a chair and trying to enjoy a beer, Barney!”
Marshall coughed. “Anyways. First date kisses should be brief and with minimal groping but not completely wussified. Get a little mouth action but not the CW frantic “oh-em-gee this is a mistake--is that a Sum 41 song playing in the background--backseat gropefest”. Jeez, those kids never think through their hookups. Makes me so damn mad.”
“Okay, I believe I’ve scared you enough for one day. Today I want you guys to practice giving the signal to each other…not dirty. Just stop before the kissing actually happens. Try not to be paired up with somebody who already knows your signal. That’s cheating.”
[OCD up]
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