fandomhigh | How to Be a Complete Bitch Without Trying, Workshop 3, Period 2 (Monday, July 21)

When the students trickled into class today, they would probably be surprised to see that Tink and Jean-Paul were both already there. They had shown up early, instead of being fashionably late for once. Well. Being predictable was not very chic, now was it?

More importantly, Tink and Jean-Paul were very engrossed in a conversation of their own which had nothing to do with the pathetic, silly children that they were supposed to be teaching.

As Jean-Paul and Ms. Bell continued their very important conversation about her shoes and his hair, the students might notice that on the blackboard behind them, words had been written. These words, in fact: IGNORE THOSE LESS IMPORTANT THAN YOU. For the students capable of putting two and two together and getting four, this might explain a few things.

Students should, of course, be forewarned that having their own conversations would constitute ignoring those more important than themselves, and thus a shocking display of rudeness. The less important just had to suck up and sit quietly and wait their turn.

Or, of course, they could interrupt their professors to explain that they had, in fact, gathered the point of this week's lesson. Good luck with that one ...

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Okay, did the fat girl not realize that she was talking, here? And that she was far more important than the fat girl, and also more important than her pretty, gay, dumb employee? She was. And so was Jean-Paul. And while her pretty, gay, dumb employee was very very pretty and dumb and gay, he and his lesbian friend should sit there patiently and not disrupt class.

Toby waved at Tink, having no clue what was going on. "Oh my god, that dress makes you look positively stunning. Do you have a stylist here?"

Agnes looked over at the blackboard and took a deep breath. Well, here goes nothing.

She waved Tink away. "Do you mind? We're talking."

Tink beamed at Toby. Oh! Oh, he was so chic and darling and so, so very dim. That was all right. Nobody expected him to talk.

And no, fat girl, she did mind. That was why she said something! She minded. Nobody should ignore the fabulousness of Tinker Bell. Did she have something to say about that?

Agnes swallowed nervously and turned bright red. "I'm trying to be a good student and do the assignment," she said, pointing at the chalkboard. "Regardless of how fabulous you are."

Then she turned back to Toby. "I'm terribly sorry, what were you saying before Ms. Bell came over to call you stupid?"

"Oh my god! Do you speak her little fairy language?" Toby couldn't believe how smart Agnes was. "Wait, stupid?"

"Oh, yes, I understand her perfectly," Agnes told him with a grimace. "She likes to call me 'fat girl', and she calls you 'pretty, gay, and so, so very dim'." And all of that is true.

She smiled fake-sweetly at Tink. "She's the perfect teacher for this class, really. And, of course, utterly fabulous."

Toby's face fell. His lip quivered as he shook his head, not believing people would be so cruel.

Or pixies, whatever the hell she was.

How to Be a Complete Bitch Without Trying, Workshop 3, Period 2 (Monday, July 21)

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