How to Be a Complete Bitch Without Trying, Workshop 2, Period 2 (Monday, July 14)

[notanactualfairy]

Class today was being held in the Danger Shop. Notification had been handwavily sent out, but if the students hadn't gotten it and had to scramble after finding the sign on the classroom door, that was no skin off their teachers' fabulous noses, now was it? Jean-Paul was there early to do setup, and glaring at the walls of the shop like they might bite him. You never knew.

Tink was yet again fashionably late. The students should perhaps get used to that. In fact, maybe the students would like to show up late? Really, what sort of bitch could you be, if you were showing up on time and being polite and paying attention to other people's schedules? As if other people mattered.

"Although," Jean-Paul put in, "we might decided to penalize you for tardiness. Who knows? Because we are, in fact, what? That is right. Bitchy."

That was right, children! Bitchiness meant being a hypocrite, and not following your own rules. More importantly -- and this was going to be today's lesson! -- being a bitch meant never, ever bothering with those stupid fake lies that other people called 'tact.'

"Yes," Jean-Paul said. "Tact is simply varnishing the truth to make another person feel better. What is the point? There is nothing in it for you. Therefore, why bother?"

Other people's feelings were so boring. Look, they were ugly and stupid and dressed badly. They cared about things that didn't matter. If you didn't tell them, who would!? They should thank you for doing them a favor. Of course, they wouldn't, because people were just too selfish to try seeing it from your point of view. Honestly.

"People can be so inconsiderate," Jean-Paul agreed. "Which is why today we are going to practice not using tact. Do not worry, we are not going to make you do this to each other. That is advanced bitchery."

It would make such a good final, though, wouldn't it? Anyway! They were here to find fake boring, stupid, and annoying ugly people, and tell them how boring, stupid, annoying and ugly they were. That wasn't hard at all! This was such an easy assignment! Weren't they the best teachers ever? They really were.

"Indeed," Jean-Paul agreed pleasantly. "Now. You have your assignment. If you did not understand the pixie, ask one of your classmates. If your classmates did not understand the pixie, you are in trouble. Our teachers' assistant for this class will be Chuck Bass. Look up to him. Learn from his sterling example. Now go forth and bitch. Remember, tact is for the weak."

Comments

Re: Danger Room -- Goth

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

The Goth guy gave Agnes a slow, thorough once-over. Then he raised an eyebrow.

"Welcome, child," he said. "I don't concern myself with the opinions of mortals."

Re: Danger Room -- Goth

[finding-x-dream.livejournal.com]

Agnes narrowed her eyes at the guy. He was some bizarre sort of illusion, as far as she could tell, but if they were supposed to treat the illusions like normal people, then... "You ARE mortal, mister."

He was seeming less and less cool by the second.