fandomhigh | Informed Investments -- Wednesday; Third Period -- 07/09

When they came into the classroom, the students of the (eee!) shopping class would find at the front of the room one very excited temporary teacher and a giant basket of muffins. She waited until she was sure that they were all there, but, really, if she'd miscounted or missed anyone, it was too bad because she was too thrilled to hold back any more.

"Good morning!" she greeted them all with incessant vibrant cheerfulness. "I'm glad to see you've made it; please, help yourself to some muffins. I just made them this morning for you all and there's some milk, too, to help wash them down. It's the first class, so, as a rule, we get to take it nice and easy today."

"I hope that you're all here for Informed Investments: A Beginner's Guide to Smart Shopping, and, if you're not and you're a little confused at the moment, don't worry. Feel free to stay if you'd like, I won't mind. My name is Charlotte York; I'm the owner of the art gallery here in town, and I am a notorious shopper. Now, I know shopping is something fun and exciting and that most people do it without even a second thought, but it's a very tragic fact that many people actually don't know how to shop, not in an effective manner that gets them what they need, what they want, without forcing them to fault on their rent because they spent all of their money on Manolo Blahnik."

Charlotte's face suddenly went a little tight with disapproval, shaking her head a little. "None of that here! On your desks, you'll each find a syllabus outlining the course objectives. As you can see, we'll cover a lot of things and hopefully it will be a lot of fun! I know I'm very excited to be teaching this class, so I hope you're excited to be in it."

"Now, I'll stop talking, because it's your turn. Today, I'd just like to get to know a little more about who you are. If we could go around the room, say your name, where you're from, when you're from if you think it's applicable, how old you are, what you're favorite thing to shop for is, and what your last notable purchase was. Remember what you say as your favorite thing! You'll notice that on week six, we'll be sharing our own tips on how to shop for those things."

"Oh! And I haven't got a teacher's assistant, but, if anyone's interested, I'd be delighted. Just come talk to me after class."

Charlotte laughed a little, shaking her head. "I said I'd stop talking; sorry, I just...this will be a fun class, I just know it. Okay, introductions. I'll go first. Like I said, I'm Charlotte York, I'm originally from Connecticut, but have lived in New York City since after I graduated from Smith College, and then I moved here, which has been just lovely! You can call me Charlotte if you'd like, or Miss York; both are absolutely fine." She was just going to skip right over the age question and forged on with, "My favorite thing to shop for is shoes and the last big purchase were these adorable Jimmy Choos I have on right now; aren't they cute? Okay! Who's next?"

[[ ~~wait for the~~ OCD ~~please!~~ is at your service. enjoy! ]]

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Worf was pretty sure that shopping would never be one of his favorite things to do but he nodded respectfully at the instructor.

"Aerosmith is dead in my century," Worf replied seriously to the question. "Though I'm sure their music still exists in the 23 century even though I do not understand how one can live it up while going down."

Lips pressed slightly together, Charlotte's face was red from the very sincere effort to not laughed a little at that, but also a bit from her attempts to think of a way to explain that which didn't leave her face even redder or was appropriate for a classroom setting. Of course, as they were in the classroom and it wasn't about shopping, Charlotte figured she could get off easy under the fact that it was simply not a topic within her jurisdiction to teach.

"It's...a turn of phrase," she finally decided to offer with a small smile. "A metaphor. Song lyrics wouldn't be very interesting if they were all to be taken literally, would they?"

"I see," Worf replied in a manner that could be best described as 'irritated confusion'. "If that is the case what is it a metaphor for?"

...Okay, yeah, Charlotte couldn't do this. She didn't even know if that would technically be appropriate to talk about in a school. If you asked her, it wasn't really technically appropriate to talk about it many place, although she did realize she was a minority there and did make allowances in certain cases. This was not one of those cases.

"Or, you know what?" she said, covering. Poorly. "Maybe it is literal. Maybe Steven Tyler just really liked elevators. They're....kind of fun...The up. And the...down. That can be very exciting!"

"I see," Worf said skeptically. "Obviously Mr. Tyler has a low threshold for entertainment."

Charlotte would accept a skeptical acceptance in this case. She was rather used to accepting skeptical acceptance. She smiled at Worf with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "Well, you know. Motion sickness, probably. You take your thrills where you can get them"

She wondered if Worf would be the type of student to research something like this on his own, and, if she did, she imagined him coming back to class and thinking that she was quite possibly one of the naivest women in the world. She realized that she was quite all right with that, too. Most everyone thought that about her anyway.

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