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Informed Investments -- Wednesday; Third Period -- 07/09

When they came into the classroom, the students of the (eee!) shopping class would find at the front of the room one very excited temporary teacher and a giant basket of muffins. She waited until she was sure that they were all there, but, really, if she'd miscounted or missed anyone, it was too bad because she was too thrilled to hold back any more.

"Good morning!" she greeted them all with incessant vibrant cheerfulness. "I'm glad to see you've made it; please, help yourself to some muffins. I just made them this morning for you all and there's some milk, too, to help wash them down. It's the first class, so, as a rule, we get to take it nice and easy today."

"I hope that you're all here for Informed Investments: A Beginner's Guide to Smart Shopping, and, if you're not and you're a little confused at the moment, don't worry. Feel free to stay if you'd like, I won't mind. My name is Charlotte York; I'm the owner of the art gallery here in town, and I am a notorious shopper. Now, I know shopping is something fun and exciting and that most people do it without even a second thought, but it's a very tragic fact that many people actually don't know how to shop, not in an effective manner that gets them what they need, what they want, without forcing them to fault on their rent because they spent all of their money on Manolo Blahnik."

Charlotte's face suddenly went a little tight with disapproval, shaking her head a little. "None of that here! On your desks, you'll each find a syllabus outlining the course objectives. As you can see, we'll cover a lot of things and hopefully it will be a lot of fun! I know I'm very excited to be teaching this class, so I hope you're excited to be in it."

"Now, I'll stop talking, because it's your turn. Today, I'd just like to get to know a little more about who you are. If we could go around the room, say your name, where you're from, when you're from if you think it's applicable, how old you are, what you're favorite thing to shop for is, and what your last notable purchase was. Remember what you say as your favorite thing! You'll notice that on week six, we'll be sharing our own tips on how to shop for those things."

"Oh! And I haven't got a teacher's assistant, but, if anyone's interested, I'd be delighted. Just come talk to me after class."

Charlotte laughed a little, shaking her head. "I said I'd stop talking; sorry, I just...this will be a fun class, I just know it. Okay, introductions. I'll go first. Like I said, I'm Charlotte York, I'm originally from Connecticut, but have lived in New York City since after I graduated from Smith College, and then I moved here, which has been just lovely! You can call me Charlotte if you'd like, or Miss York; both are absolutely fine." She was just going to skip right over the age question and forged on with, "My favorite thing to shop for is shoes and the last big purchase were these adorable Jimmy Choos I have on right now; aren't they cute? Okay! Who's next?"

[[ ~~wait for the~~ OCD ~~please!~~ is at your service. enjoy! ]]

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Happily!

Because it's shopping and shopping is very exciting and if you don't agree then Charlotte will SHAKE YOU UNTIL IT IS.

Worf.

What? This IS his happy face.

Ned

Amber Atkins

Giselle!

Summer Roberts

Try to keep up with Charlotte's babbling and enjoy your muffins.

ENJOY THEM!

Seriously. Eat. There are a ton of them.

Worf boggled at Charlotte.

And ate his muffin.

Mmm. Muffin.

There were muffins. That made keeping up with the teacher's lecture a little bit easier.

Ned guessed she really liked shopping what with the class and the happiness and all.

Summer was happy to listen to anyone babble about shopping. The muffins were just bonus.

Amber nibbled on a muffin while she took notes on all of Charlotte's babbling.

Who you are, where you're from, when you're from, age, favorite thing to shop for, and last significant purchase.

Or any combination of the above.

"I am Worf," he said standing at attention when his turn came around. "I am from the 23rd century. I prefer not to shop if possible and my last purchase was for an Aerosmith CD."

Charlotte's face went through an interesting range of expressions through Worf's introduction. Her eyes went rather round and staring in surprise at the militant approach to offering his name, and then they softened with a curious tilt of her head at him being from the 23rd century. She'd had a whole conversation earlier that week with G'Kar about his spots, so the head ridges caused only minor phasing and a brief wondering if, like G'Kar's spots, the ridges could be a denotation of attractiveness in Worf's society, although, yes, it was quite clear that this was not the case in this society.

And then, finally, she drifted off a little, because, mmm, Steven Tyler lips.

She shook her head a little and smiled brightly again. "It's wonderful to have you in class, Worf. Hopefully, maybe by the end of it, you'll enjoy shopping a little more. And a CD is an excellent purchase. But please don't tell me that Aerosmith is still alive and trying to make music in the 23rd Century!"

What? She thought it was funny. If also frighteningly possible.

Worf was pretty sure that shopping would never be one of his favorite things to do but he nodded respectfully at the instructor.

"Aerosmith is dead in my century," Worf replied seriously to the question. "Though I'm sure their music still exists in the 23 century even though I do not understand how one can live it up while going down."

Lips pressed slightly together, Charlotte's face was red from the very sincere effort to not laughed a little at that, but also a bit from her attempts to think of a way to explain that which didn't leave her face even redder or was appropriate for a classroom setting. Of course, as they were in the classroom and it wasn't about shopping, Charlotte figured she could get off easy under the fact that it was simply not a topic within her jurisdiction to teach.

"It's...a turn of phrase," she finally decided to offer with a small smile. "A metaphor. Song lyrics wouldn't be very interesting if they were all to be taken literally, would they?"

"I see," Worf replied in a manner that could be best described as 'irritated confusion'. "If that is the case what is it a metaphor for?"

...Okay, yeah, Charlotte couldn't do this. She didn't even know if that would technically be appropriate to talk about in a school. If you asked her, it wasn't really technically appropriate to talk about it many place, although she did realize she was a minority there and did make allowances in certain cases. This was not one of those cases.

"Or, you know what?" she said, covering. Poorly. "Maybe it is literal. Maybe Steven Tyler just really liked elevators. They're....kind of fun...The up. And the...down. That can be very exciting!"

"I see," Worf said skeptically. "Obviously Mr. Tyler has a low threshold for entertainment."

Charlotte would accept a skeptical acceptance in this case. She was rather used to accepting skeptical acceptance. She smiled at Worf with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "Well, you know. Motion sickness, probably. You take your thrills where you can get them"

She wondered if Worf would be the type of student to research something like this on his own, and, if she did, she imagined him coming back to class and thinking that she was quite possibly one of the naivest women in the world. She realized that she was quite all right with that, too. Most everyone thought that about her anyway.

"I'm Ned," he said, nodding, "from Coeur d'Coeurs and I'm from...now, I think. I don't really know. I'm eighteen and I'm a big food shopper. Um, ingredients, mostly. Stuff to bake with. My last notable purchase was a rolling pin."

So exciting, oh yes.

"Welcome to the class, Ned," Charlotte said with a warm smile, and a great deal of relief that her assumption about Worf and Ned being boys had been confirmed. Really, though, they were terrible names for girls, so she would have felt awful if she'd have been wrong, for their sakes. "I like to bake, too."

As if they couldn't tell by the massive amounts of muffins.

"And was it one of those really nice marble rolling pins, or just kind of your standard wooden one?"

Hmmm, she could possibly use another rolling pin herself...Especially since it was getting much more use now than it ever had in New York. She still got lazy and just went over to J,GoB more often than not.

"Standard wooden ones," he said with a nod. "It's what my mom always used so it's what I always use. Rolling pin doesn't need to be fancy, it just needs to work. Your muffins are really good."

Awww! Ned just skyrocketed right up to the spot of Charlotte's favorite student at that moment, although, really, she was quite confident that she'd think they were all wonderful, and this spot was probably subject to changing very often and for every reason in the book. The rolling pin sentimentality was just adorable, though, and, plus, compliments really never, ever hurt.

"Thank you so much, Ned!" she beamed. "Maybe some time, you'll have to bring in something to share with the class, too, and then I can say the same about whatever you make."

"Oh, I can definitely do that," he said, gears already working on what he could make. It wasn't like he minded baking, you know. "Thanks for letting me."

Through her smile, Charlotte gave Ned a look that made it clear that she thought he'd be silly for thinking that thanks were necessary there, as if she would mind having someone bring in baked goods for consumption and enjoyment.

Wait. Unless...he liked to bake but he wasn't necessarily good at baking. That was entirely possible. But, Charlotte's optimism and the fact that she couldn't see a boy bringing himself to purchasing a rolling pin unless he knew it was really worthwhile, she applauded the sentiment a little with with a happy, "Yay! That'll be nice. Thank you, Ned!"

Edited 2008-07-09 12:24 (UTC)

"I'm Giselle," she said with an amount of happiness that may even match Charlotte's. "I'm sixteen, and I'm from Andalusia." She paused, playing with her hair for a moment. "I don't ever remember buying anything. Usually people or the little animals bring me things."

Ooh, fresh meat! Although it did leave Charlotte a little boggled over the idea that a sixteen year old girl had never really been shopping before, there was something about that bright and chipper response that had her feeling like she was doing a very good deed by introducing her to this wonderful world.

There was also something else that made Charlotte boggle a little, her head tilted with a slightly confused expression, although she was still smiling warming. "Very nice to have you in class, Giselle. I'm sure you'll really take to enjoying shopping. But...little animals? You don't mean, like, cute fluffy bunnies and pretty singing blue jays and precocious white tailed fawns, do you?"

"Oh! Well, yes," Giselle said, tilting her head back towards Charlotte. "I mean, not just blue jays and bunnies, but my best friend is a chipmunk. His name is Pip."

...That expression on Charlotte's face was her best attempt (which wasn't very good) to try to hold back what might be called as a genuine wibble. And then she took a breath, sharply reminding herself that it wouldn't be very good to go and get jealous of a sixteen year old girl on the first day of your class just because she had cute animals that brought her things, like Charlotte had always hoped would happen when she was a little girl. There was no telling how many hours were spent trying to train her cat just to fetch her her slippers in the morning...

..although, she did have a boyfriend who bought her Vuitton shoes and was a bunny, so, all and all, she couldn't complain, and smiled at Giselle again a bit more genuinely. "Oh, I think that's lovely, Giselle," and the scary part was that she was fairly sincere. Giselle might have been a little old for that kind of thing, but it was rather sweet and endearing all the same. "It's always good to have friends."

She caught the wibble and looked worried for a moment. "It is good to have friends, yes. I'm so very lucky. Do you have friends you miss? You look like a friend of mine."

Well, the train of thought was obvious to Giselle.

...Hopefully not one of the chipmunk ones! Charlotte's eyes went a little wide over the mere thought of that, but smiled it off brightly. "...I do?" she asked. "And, yes, I have quite a lot of friends, I'm happy to say..."

Did she also look like the kind of person who didn't? Like a sad, lonely old friendless spinster? Charlotte gave her head a quick shake, expelling those thoughts. Of course she didn't. Because she wasn't. If she wasn't then she certainly couldn't look like one, right?

Right.

She smiled a little brighter.

"I'm Summer Roberts from Newport Beach, California," Summer began. "It's currently 2005 back home. My favorite thing to shop for? I don't think I can pick just one. Um...shoes! Those are important. As are designer bags and clothing. Anything like that. My last purchase was an unauthorized guide to The Valley. You wouldn't believe some of the scandals that happened behind the scenes."

Charlotte smiled; oh, she liked Summer. That was an excellent, practically perfect answer to the question, and, really, the answer she was expecting most of her students to actually have. "Shoes are important," she agreed enthusiastically with a nod. "And I'm sure I can take a few guesses; pretty juicy?"

"Totally, but not nearly as interesting a brand new pair of shoes," Summer said.

"Oh, well," Charlotte laughed a little at that, "very few things are."

Summer grinned. She was so going to love this class.

"Hi, I'm Amber Atkins and I'm from Mount Rose, Minnesota. The year 1999. Um, I don't really get to shop much but when I do, I like to buy socks. All kinds of socks. My last purchase that mean anythin', however, was not socks, it was a handcrafted wooden beaded necklace that I purchased in Madagascar. The beads are dyed indigo and have a tiny white flower painted on each one. They're beautiful."

...Socks? Charlotte's head tilted a little, a bit in awe of that. Why would anyone focus so much on socks when all the really adorable and cute shoes required going without them?

Still, with that accent, she thought Amber was just as cute as a button, and she shook her head a little and smile. "That does sound lovely. I picked up a nice handmade pair of flip-flops when we were over in Bali Ha'i. I absolutely love stuff like that, and it's so unique! No one else is going to have something like that, that's for sure."

When one couldn't afford the cute shoes, one went with the socks instead.

Amber beamed proudly. "I know it! And I don't wear them everyday. I wear them when I want to feel beautiful, y'know, special. A girl like me, with um, my means, well, we take what we can get and then cherish it. Probably a silly notion, but one that works for me. I never take anythin' for granted that way."

"Oh, no," Charlotte enthused with a shake of her head. "It isn't silly at all. You should always cherish anything you have in your life; I couldn't agree with you more, there. Too many people focus on the bad things when there are all these good things right in front of them that they don't even realize it!"

Forget the fact that Charlotte took many things for granted, but she didn't do any of it consciously. She still had a healthy (or perhaps slightly more than healthy) awareness of things she could be grateful for.

"You are so right. Just like Becky Leeman. She was this girl back home; had anythin' and everythin' she could ever want. She even thanked Jesus constantly. Didn't matter; she was still just a little bitch and I don't mean to cuss or speak ill of the dead, but those are just the facts as I see them," she said, nodding firmly. "Her ma was too, only she had a fatter ass."

Charlotte had to cover her mouth a little bit, especially at that last part. She didn't know whether it was supposed to be hiding a laugh or masking a horrified gawk.

"Oh...my..." was all she managed. Speaking ill of the dead was one thing, but when fat asses came into the picture...

Amber must really dislike this girl's mother.

Amber hated her. Especially since you know, the woman was out there and wanted her head on a shiny platter, probably an apple stuck in her mouth.

"Yah, I know it. Not much to add to that is there?"

Charlotte sighed a little into her nodding. "Yeah, that...that covered it pretty well, Amber. Thank you."

She'd be more than happy to answer any question, or chat about anything at all really.

And to feed you more muffins.

Edited 2008-07-09 04:49 (UTC)

It's been over a year since I've written any classes; BE GENTLE!

Up early because it can be; I'm going to bed, but tomorrow's my day off, and it's the National Cherry Festival so I am not leaving the apartment for fear of being consumed alive by tourists, so I'll be around.

Hooray!

*sympathizes about the festival*

We have the Strawberry Festival down here and it's INSANE to the point where I want to hide in the closet from the tourists.

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