The History of Sex: Workshop 7, Period 3 (Thursday, June 26)

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Welcome back to class, children! Did they have a very fun time with that guy with a flamey-head pulling people into Hell? Tink was at a bar in Madagascar when she heard everything turned out okay. She was so delighted! After all, there was her amazing store here! And there were three or four people she might have cared about still on the island!

"Yes, thanks for making sure you took me along, Ms. Bell - oh wait!" Barney said, raising an eyebrow at Tink. "Regardless, I managed to have some really Awesome world-ending sex with this hot little brunette who lives down on...one of the roads without monsters."

Well, really. She'd had thirty minutes to pack, and while he was very nice, he didn't outrank all her Clinique. Besides, why didn't he pack and run for it when they heard that announcement? So there.

"There were squirrels and hot women to think of," Barney argued. "All those ladies looking for a last lay before dying a horrible death at the hands of a twelve-headed water monster! Too good to pass up."

So she'd gotten her make-up safely out of harm's way, and he'd had lots of sex with random girls? It sounded like they'd both had a very nice weekend indeed! The island should be taken over by scary vice-principals more often! And she'd found a very nice bar in Madagascar, she'd have to take him. It was chic. Was he doing anything after class?

"Let me consult my PDA," Barney whipped out his Blackberry and pretended to consider his schedule for a moment. "I think I can squeeze in a couple hours for the hottest little pixie in town."

Oh, oh he was such a flatterer! Wasn't he such a flatterer, children? Not that he wasn't right, she was totally the hottest little pixie in town and she had some ideas for the couple of hours after those couple of hours but really, class was here and they didn't need to hear about that. So! Children! Did they get laid this weekend? With the world ending?

After they'd allowed the students to answer if they wanted, Barney waved his hand. "This has nothing to do with today's final, by the way."

No, no. Although having sex because the world was ending was really an important part of the history of sex. It ensured the survival of the species! Plus danger was a huge turn-on. Nothing like knowing the world may end at any moment to really make those last few moments count, right, children?

"Exactly," Barney said, nodding with her points. "But for your actual final, you have a quiz to take!"

A quiz! A very important quiz, that they would honestly look over later, and grade! And not use to make confetti while at the bar in Madagascar! Honest! Now, to the quiz!!!

[ooc: *sniffle* NOTE: "hu" is a pronoun used in place of him/her his/hers he/she because I am lazy.]

Comments

The Final Sign In [6/26]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

SADLY, BECAUSE YOU WILL MISS US.

Re: The Final Sign In [6/26]

[intraspective]

Yamanaka Ino

The Final Lecture [6/26]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Be lectured! In a very final sort of way!

Re: The Final Lecture [6/26]

[armybrat-lois.livejournal.com]

Lois spent most of the weird ass lecture trying to stick a pencil down her cast. Her wrist itched, goddammit.

Re: The Final Lecture [6/26]

[always-damp.livejournal.com]

Toby was confused. There are tests at this school?

Re: The Final Lecture [6/26]

[cheminthehead.livejournal.com]

Gladys simply stood at the back of the class, listening and looming. It had certainly been...interesting.

Re: The Final Lecture [6/26]

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

Sokka still had some trouble understanding Ms. Bell from time to time.

At the moment, he was wandering exactly HOW one went about having sex with a bar full of makeup.

The Final Question That Isn't Part of the Final [6/26]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Well? Did you manage to turn the apocalypse to your advantage, and get some tail?

Re: The Final Question That Isn't Part of the Final [6/26]

[intraspective]

"I wish," Ino said, rolling her eyes.

Re: The Final Question That Isn't Part of the Final [6/26]

[armybrat-lois.livejournal.com]

"...No," she said. "But I should have."

Re: The Final Question That Isn't Part of the Final [6/26]

[ashockingbitch]

"No, but I got to kill some weird metal birds," Jenny said. "That was fun. Sex would've been funner."

Re: The Final Question That Isn't Part of the Final [6/26]

[raspberryturk]

"Was too busy gettin' my ass kicked by a god," Reno frowned.

...

It would have been an awesome excuse for sex, though. Daaamn.

Re: The Final Question That Isn't Part of the Final [6/26]

[ihaveniceteeth.livejournal.com]

Why yes, that was a death glare being directed the teachers' way.

Re: The Final Question That Isn't Part of the Final [6/26]

[imac-kenzie.livejournal.com]

Mac sighed, looking at Ron the Teddy Bear sitting on the corner of her desk.

"No."

Re: The Final Question That Isn't Part of the Final [6/26]

[thatsamilkshake]

"...I took care of my roommate's cat? She has a tail."

Re: The Final Question That Isn't Part of the Final [6/26]

[cheminthehead.livejournal.com]

"A Hairy And Horny Man Said He Wanted To Drink Me. I Believe He Was Being Very Inappropriate."

Re: The Final Question That Isn't Part of the Final [6/26]

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

Sokka pouted. "No."

His tail to be gotten had graduated.

The Final Final Q1 [6/26]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

The alien hooker you just bagged insists on raising hu's prices after the fact! No fair! (Or maybe you're just crappy at math.) Now hu is screaming when you just want to get the hell out! Do you:

a) Pay whatever hu wants, you wuss.
b) Ask to see hu's pimp and complain about shoddy service.
c) Confuse hu with math and fast-talking about exchange rates discounts until you've got hu paying you.
d) Realize you are Ron or a virgin and are never ever getting laid. Ever.

Re: The Final Final Q1 [6/26]

[ashockingbitch]

e) Generously offer hu the choice between taking the original price or being electrocuted into a smoking, twitching ball.

The Final Final Q2 [6/26]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

You find yourself trapped in a romance novel. Doesn't that suck? Choose your fate!

a) Accept Lord/Lady Chillington's proposal. Hu is the most respectable suitor and hu is willing to overlook your checkered past.
b) Run away for naughty adventures with that butler/maid who's been giving you the eye. Your reputation is already miserable -- it can't get much worse!
c) Claw frantically at the pages of the book! Free! Free! Somehow you must GET OUT! You are trapped in a BOOK!!!
d) Realize you are Ron or a virgin and are never ever getting laid. Ever.

Re: The Final Final Q2 [6/26]

[ashockingbitch]

b AND c) Why shouldn't I have naughty adventures while waiting for rescue from this fictional world?

The Final Final Q3 [6/26]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

You are playing World of Warcraft when a hot elvish person comes on to you hot and heavy. Do you:

a) Make sweet, sweet cybersex and save the log for future nefarious purposes.
b) Roll your eyes. Your character so doesn't fuck elves.
c) Claim to be a girl IRL (whether you are or not) and demand presents of shiny armor before doing the deed.
d) Realize you are Ron or a virgin and are never ever getting laid. Ever.

Re: The Final Final Q3 [6/26]

[ashockingbitch]

Are you serious?

...fine.

First C, then A. All while rolling my eyes.

The Final Final Q4 [6/26]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Choose ONE of the following to sleep with because the world is ending.

a) Wookiee (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/hotornot/wookiee.jpg)
b) Dwarf (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/hotornot/dwarf.jpg)
c) Faun (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/hotornot/faun.jpg)
d) Realize you are Ron or a virgin and are never ever getting laid. Ever.

Re: The Final Final Q4 [6/26]

[ashockingbitch]

c) It reminds me of my ex-husband, only not blue.

The Final Final Q5 [6/26]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

What have you learned from this fabulous, fabulous class?

a) Barney and Tink are fascinating people with much cooler sex lives than you.
b) Communication with words is completely overrated.
c) Aliens, while completely capable of kicking Ron's ass, need hot and kinky sex, too.
d) You are Ron or a virgin and are never ever getting laid. Ever.

Re: The Final Final Q5 [6/26]

[ashockingbitch]

a) I already knew b) and c) and d) is n/a. Also your sex lives are not cooler than mine used to be

The Final TAs [6/26]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Dawn, the delicious and divine! Ron, the vestal virgin!

Re: The Final TAs [6/26]

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

Dawn was there and looking a little smug about the fact that she didn't have to take the final. Instead, she was leafing through a fashion magazine and wondering whether she should take the quiz.

The Final Chance [6/26]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

To talk to the Barnacle in a classroom situation. Not that he knows this. He and Tink are planning to bolt ASAP for their island plans.

Re: The Final Chance [6/26]

[imac-kenzie.livejournal.com]

Mac approached him at the end of class, with Ron firmly in hand. She wasn't certain he'd want them to know, but she figured it would be worth noting he was actually there, and not avoiding the final.

"Hi... So, Ron isn't in a position to be doing his final today," she started.

The OOC [6/26]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

It's been a blast, dudes!

*bows before most excellent and participatory students*

Re: The OOC [6/26]

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

Seriously. I can't count the number of times where we had an idea and then went "Okay, this is either gonna be awesome or fail miserably, depending on whether anybody goes with it," and then you guys picked it up and ran it places we didn't imagine at all. Thanks for being awesome.

*also clings to co-teacher of co-fabulous co-awesomeness*