The History of Sex: Workshop 3, Period 3 (Thursday, May 29)

Welcome back, class! Oh, it had been such a fun week. Had they had a fun week? Had everyone done their homework and looked up slash fic? Tink loved slash fic. She herself had written some fabulous Barry Plodder slash fic. Had Barney read it? He should. It was very chic. Slash fic, yay!

Barney needed to be more drunk if Tink was going to make him read devil's threeway-type slash. "Only if it's slash between that spicy French chick and the librarian-type. I won't read anything involving Barry or the pasty dragon kid."

Tink was not sulking, it just looked like she was because you were too plebian to understand how fairy-language worked. Also, Barney was stupid and didn't appreciate art. So! Children! Today they were talking about something very, very special indeed!

"Special in that it continues to shock the hell out of me that it's true," Barney added. "That being geeks getting laid via the internet."

Yes! The internet was a magical, special place, full of slash fic that Barney was not good enough to ever appreciate the subtlety of and it was full of lonely, lonely nerds. And sometimes when lonely nerds lowered their expectations enough, sex happened!

"Or lied enough about who they were," Barney sighed. "Take the World of Warcraft people, for instance."

Tink shook her head sadly. See, sometimes people pretended to be wizards or healers or fighters in a little game online, and went around killing monsters and pretending that it was very, very interesting. It wasn't! But more importantly, about 99% of the people on there were male, so if you were a girl -- or were someone male pretending to be a girl -- you could get lots of free stuff! Not interesting or useful free stuff, from the real world, but free stuff from the game itself. Were they following, children?

If the students were following, they were already well ahead of Barney. "No, seriously, they pretend to be girls and then try to find girls to hook up with?"

Tink would slow this down for the mentally challenged children and Barney. No, see, they pretended to be girls and then got things that other people had slaved away in the game getting. Boys, being stupid, would give away things to fake-girls. This very rarely led to interaction with real girls -- much less sex with real girls -- but that did not stop the boys from trying. Because boys were dumb.

"Which takes us right back to it being a miracle whenever these geeks did manage to get laid. This is why Ted hides his World of Warcraft gaming from me. People need to look into Facebook or MySpace. Create a fake profile - didn't I teach a class about this once?" He had. Just not to these students.

Oh, Tink loved MySpace! Her page was ever so pretty and it had sparkles and embedded music. But all of her information was the truth. Why was she supposed to lie on it?

"Lying on the internet is like breathing," Barney explained. "For instance, my Facebook page lists me as looking for a relationship, which is both absurd and untrue. However, it also happens to be what the prime cutlets want to hear."

Ooooooh. And then very pretty people messaged him and wanted to have sex? Sex was awesome! Did nerds put up pictures of attractive people, and lie about having cool interests, and hope that nobody bailed out from the bait-and-switch?

"They did. Which is why the attractive right must be prepared for anything the geeks might throw at us. Be savvy, be smart, and above all else, mock the living shit out of them!"

Which was their assignment. Oh, this was going to be fun, children! Were they ready? Were they?

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Ron shook his head. "Yeah. I don't think this whole internet thing is for me. I don't think I can trust somethingI can't see."

"It takes some time to get used to," Mac agreed. "But can be kinda fun... It is my thing."

"Really?" Ron asked. "You don't strike me as someone like that."

Then again he's going off Tink and Barney's description.

... "Okay, not quite like that," Mac clarified.

"I really am a girl, for starters. I also don't try and pick people up off the internet."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Well I know you're a girl. And I didn't mean you'd pick up strangers or anything," he said looking amused. "I just never considered you a nerd. Or a geek. You're not... Not that you are... I mean... I should just stop talking now."

Mac snickered. "Well, that should probably be comforting," she said.

"I don't consider you a nerd either. Just so y'know."

Ron brightened up at that. "Really?"

"You don't know what World of Warcraft is. That pretty much convinces me."

"Do I even want to know what that is?" Ron asked. "Or am I better off not knowing."

"Maybe I'll give you an intro one of these days," Mac said, grinning brightly at him.

Ron gave her a dubious look. "You should know straight off that I deal with contraptions and electronicks by smashing the keys and hoping I get what I want."

"... On someone elses laptop," she decided.

"What does someone's lap have to do with it?"

Mac still kinda found it hard to believe that people lived without computers. What on earth did they do with themselves?

"Um, nothing. Someone elses computer," she rephrased.

There was a lot of ceiling staring. And wondering why people shopped for electronics in the Amazon.

"Ooooooh," Ron said in understanding.

Though he really didn't understand. Shh.

"Still doesn't really make sense, huh?" Mac guessed from the vagueness in that response.

"Sorry. Not a clue," Ron admitted. "Guess I'm just a bit dense when it comes to this stuff."

"Your universe is obviously just deprived," Mac said with a shrug. "Which is okay, since you're now here."

She grinned. "Embrace the technology."

"Well.. We have magic," Ron said in a weak defense and then rather lamely added, "I learned how to use the television."

Using his patented keysmash technique on the remote.

"I guess we're even, since magic is really not my thing," Mac said.

"Maybe we could work out a trade," Ron suggested.

"What sort of trade?" Mac asked curiously.

Ron shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I can put some sort of ward on your computer so only you could touch it."

Ooh, now that was tempting.

"One that wont, like, blow up Peter if he accidentally touches it?" Mac checked. She liked her roommate in one piece, and was a little wary of magic in general.

"If so, that sounds awesome, and in return, I can handle anything technology related you want."

"Well you can have it basically let out a loud warning noise," Ron replied. "Or we can make it look like something else. Would that work? And as for techno stuff... Well I'll let you figure out what I need to know."

Mainly because Ron had no idea about computers whatsoever.

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