http://suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2008-05-15 07:06 am
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The History of Sex: Workshop 1, Period 3 (Thursday, May 15)


Barney looked around the classroom and adjusted his tie wearily. "Please tell me this group will be better," he said to Tink.

Tink didn't hold much hope that it would, really. But look! Look, Barney! She'd brought booze! Booze was the best teaching aid ever. It made you not hate the students half so much! Here! He should drink some! Mmmm, booze!

"Has anyone ever told you you're a saint?" Barney asked, pouring some sweet alcoholic nectar for himself. "A tiny, bouncy little saint, with...oh right, students."

With students? Wasn't he about to say -- OH! Students! There were students here. Hello, students! She was the fabulous, wonderful, amazing Miss Tinker Bell ...

"...Along with your Professor of Awesome, Barnabus Stinson," he finished. "Please, feel free to call us Professor Stinson and Professor Bell. No formalities here."

And they should remember that the very best students were the ones who took care of their teachers. So what if officials called them "bribes"? The officials weren't the ones handing out the As, now were they?

"And should these supposed officials ask, we say, 'What bribes?'" Barney grinned. "Now, this course is about the History of Sex: and other stuff. You'd better get yourselves ready as we are about to blow your little teenage minds. And I hope to God none of you are virgins. Well, other than Ron."

He was here again? Awwww, Barney's grandson took the class! Hi, Barney's grandson! See, he was totally embracing his inner Awesome and well on his way to living up to those latent Stinson genes he had somewhere. Maybe some day that would even mean losing his virginity. Maybe. Didn't Barney just want to pinch his little cheeks?

"Not really, no." Barney peered at his pixie counterpart, deciding she had to be kidding. "Regardless, you're here to learn about sex from meta for Smurfette to cybersex."

There was a lot of sex out there, and a lot of people doing it, in strange and interesting ways! Ones that could possibly destroy your mind, children. Had they ever really thought about sex? Everyone out there is the product of sex, except possibly the frog-thing. He was felt and felt didn't seem likely to reproduce sexually.

Barney shuddered and drank deeply. "And so today we'd like you to introduce yourselves. Tell us of your best or worst sexual encounter. Or make up something good."

The children should remember that this was a safe, learning environment, and they should try very hard not to laugh at one another very much. Except she would be. Some of these should be good. But treat one another with respect. More or less. Try, anyway.

"Also, everyone meet Dawn, our TA for this course. Dawn, feel free to make Ron your bitch," he grinned at the lovely Ms. Summers, wondering if Ron would pass out just by proximity to such an attractive young female. "Now, how about we get this introductory party started with....you!" Barney said, pointing at a random student.

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] isourking.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 02:45 pm (UTC)(link)
"There's an appreciation society?" Ron asked. "Seriously?"

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] imac-kenzie.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 02:47 pm (UTC)(link)
"There was," Mac corrected. "I helped Jake run it for a while."

Re: The Sign In [5/15]

[identity profile] saltandammo.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 02:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Dean Winchester

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] isourking.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 02:51 pm (UTC)(link)
"Ohhh," Ron said understanding. "I don't think I ever met him."

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] saltandammo.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 02:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Dean listened to the lecture with a smirk. Okay, both teachers were probably totally off their rockers, but if nothing else it was going to be fun watching other students flail at what they said.

Re: The Introductions [5/15]

[identity profile] saltandammo.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 02:53 pm (UTC)(link)
"I'm Dean Winchester, I'm 17. I'm not sure if I'd say it was my favourite, but the most unusual sexual experience I had, had to be the lesbian threesome."
Edited 2008-05-15 15:21 (UTC)

Re: The TAs [5/15]

[identity profile] sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 02:53 pm (UTC)(link)
"And two of that is legs!"

Re: The TAs [5/15]

[identity profile] isourking.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 02:55 pm (UTC)(link)
"Do you actually know how scary those three inches actually are?" Ron asked.

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] saltandammo.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 02:56 pm (UTC)(link)
"Aw, come on Sammy," Dean teased. "Cheer up. They're completely bonkers. This class is going to be fun."

Re: The Sign In [5/15]

[identity profile] x5-alec.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 02:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Alec
likethegun: (i'm watching dean)

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[personal profile] likethegun 2008-05-15 03:03 pm (UTC)(link)
"You would find this fun," Sam remarked. "This is embarrassing."

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] imac-kenzie.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:12 pm (UTC)(link)
"Yeah, when I say 'used to run', we're talking a couple of years ago," she said with a little smile.

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] isourking.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:16 pm (UTC)(link)
"So you're an old hand at Fandom then," Ron said. "I never asked how long you've been here."

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] saltandammo.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
"Yeah, for them," Dean said nodding towards the teachers.

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] imac-kenzie.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:26 pm (UTC)(link)
"Too long," Mac replied. "This'll be my third summer."
likethegun: (i'm confused and wtf?)

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[personal profile] likethegun 2008-05-15 03:32 pm (UTC)(link)
"Why would it be embarrassing for them to listen to us have to reveal personal information about ourselves?" Sam asked.

Re: The TAs [5/15]

[identity profile] sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
"Not at all!" Sokka replied, cheerfully. "She glows, she flies, and I'm pretty sure she runs the clothing store. That's about all I know."

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] isourking.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
"Too long?" Ron asked. "Sounds like you're ready to be done with this place."

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] imac-kenzie.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
"Another year," she said. "I like the place well enough, but still kinda can't wait to get out of high school and into college."

Re: The TAs [5/15]

[identity profile] isourking.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Ron shrugged. "Tell you what... There's no reason why we should both be on her bad side. Why don't you go tell her that you have a common friend by the name of Wendy Bird. She'll probably give you an automatic "A" and make you the teacher's pet."

Yes. Ron can be evil at times.

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] isourking.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:46 pm (UTC)(link)
"College huh?" Ron said looking thoughtful. "Going back to California for that?"

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] x5-alec.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Alec listened with interest, deciding he wasn't even annoyed that he'd been somehow signed up for this class without his knowledge - at least it would be amusing, right?

Re: The Introductions [5/15]

[identity profile] x5-alec.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Alec interrupted his mental checklist to nod in agreement. "Yeah, that was pretty weird. Awesome, but weird."

Re: The Lecture [5/15]

[identity profile] imac-kenzie.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Mac shrugged. "Haven't actually decided yet," she said. "Always was determined to get as far away from Neptune as possible, though, so maybe not."

Re: The TAs [5/15]

[identity profile] sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com 2008-05-15 03:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Sokka raised an eyebrow. "Why go to the trouble of lying, if they've already said you can bribe them?"

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