fandomhigh | Detention [5.04.08] - Saturday 800 to 1300 (the Danger Shop)

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detention

Detention [5.04.08] - Saturday 800 to 1300 (the Danger Shop)

Harriet was looking suspiciously bright-eyed this morning as the detention-goers arrived. "Good morning. Today you're going to experience a little taste of Britain's ancient past. Possibly her imaginary past, but never mind. Today, each one of you is going to be Arthur, King of the Britons, and venture forth on a sacred quest for the Holy Grail."

She smiled at each of them in turn, looking far too amused. "It might not go quite as you expect it to," she added, then shooed them off. "Just go through that door to change into appropriate costume. Oh, and those of you with powers of any kind are not to use them. You are to approach this exercise as if you were an ordinary, non-magical, non-mutant, non-gifted human being. Arthur began his quest with only the blessing of God and strength of arms. You are to do the same."

Amber Atkins
Jaina Solo
Jenny Sparks
Romeo Montague
Ronan Nolan

Sokka

[ooc: YAY WE HAVE OCD! And instructions in the OOC thread.

definitely wait for the OCD

]

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She bit back a comment about So... three then?, and reached out to take the chest. "Thank you?"

They both bowed, then hit the dirt.

"Well," Jaina said, "here goes."

She did exactly as instructed, pulling the pin and counting to three. Not more, not less, and definitely not to five. And then she threw it in the direction of the killer bunny rabbit.

Wow, this entire detention so far was something at least one member of her family could take minor offense at. Huh.

There was a loud explosion, and the bunny was vaporised, leaving the entrance to the cave clear, apart from all the bones.

"Well done, my liege."

"Yes, well done."

"Now we can find the mystical runes, that will show you the way to the Grail."

"Yes, the answers to the Grail's location lies within the cave."

And they trotted off into the cave, leading the way.

They sort of creeped her out a lot. "After you," she muttered, following them inside.

"Here, my liege, here." They were both very keen priesty types, and one held a candle aloft while the other gestured at the wall. "The runes! It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaarrrrggh'."

Just off-screen, a cartoon peril was stirring.

"The Castle of aaarrrrggh," Jaina repeated. "Why don't I like that name?"

"Because my liege is wise!"

"And brave!"

"And strong and h-- "

He was cut off (on the whole, it was probably a good thing) as the cartoon-peril surged out of nowhere and gobbled him up whole.

"Run, my liege!" the other yelled, pointing into the cave.

It sort of went against Jaina's nature to run away. She'd stabbed a T-Rex in the mouth once, after all. Still, she wasn't about to try to find out what happened if you got swallowed by something in a simulation, so with an "Okay," she took off running into the cave.

"It's the legendary Black Beast of Aaarrrrggh!"

The cartoon peril stopped long enough to gobble up the second priestly type, then chased after her, eyes rolling, jaws gnashing, footsteps shaking the ground.

Gee, couldn't imagine where the castle got its name. Where was the guy with the horns to go BOOM! A BOOM! would be useful. So Jaina just kept running, not looking back, because that was how people stumbled, fell, and got eaten.

As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape seemed hopeless, when suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack. The cartoon peril was no more, fading away to nothing.

Coincidentally, right near the exit from the cave. Through it could just be seen a rickety, cobweb thin, wooden bridge and a rather revolting old man.

Who was cackling.

...Huh, that was handy.

Jaina exited the cave, feeling a little cynical about the people she was meeting on this quest. And cackling was never good. That way led to Force lightning and plots to take over galaxies. "Hi, looking for the grail," she said.

The old man thrust out a hand. "Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side she see."

Easy enough. Possibly. Bridge of Death and all. "All right," she said. "What's the first."

"What is your name?"

Seriously. "Jaina Solo."

The old man started cackling and capering and dancing around. "Ahahahahahahahahah no, no, no you're Arthur King of the Britons!" He made a complicated gesture, that was just this side of obscene. "Or you were! Now you are a...NEWT!"

And there was a humming and a strange popping noise as the weird old man cast ~~magic missile~~ Newt at her.

And Jaina was a newt.

Because she's answered the question "What's your name?" wrong.

She hated everything. Newtily.

The old man crouched near her and whispered out of the corner of his mouth, sounding surprisingly sane and normal. "Just go on through that door." He pointed at the newt-sized door that had just opened in a rock. "You'll be yourself again, and you can have a snack before you go home."

She wanted to tell him not to patronize her, but couldn't, due to not having the right vocal cords, nor the ability to manage a decent eyeroll in this state. Instead, she made her way towards the door, trying to figure out how to walk on four legs and deciding she was never telling John about this.

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Detention [5.04.08] - Saturday 800 to 1300 (the Danger Shop)

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