fandomhigh | Interactive Religion [Tuesday, April 1]

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Interactive Religion [Tuesday, April 1]

"I'm sure you're all familiar with the Beatitudes," Biff said, looking at his class while they assembled around giant tables filled with all kinds of fruit and rolls of plastic wrap. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, the peacemakers, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness…" He made a "blah, blah, blah" gesture with his hand. "I was there when we were writing that up and I'm telling you that a few groups got left off the list."

He hopped up onto a table and let his legs swing free. "Not just the big, powerful, rich guys with swords—Josh told me that they didn't really need his help—but the wankers--" Biff paused to wink. "And let me say that more than a few apostles would have been really, really blessed if wankers had been included, and the dumbfucks were kept out of the final speech up there on the Mount. I always felt kind of bad for the poor, neglected dumbfucks, and we never did settle on a group to give the fruit baskets to."

Biff blinked as a tiny troupe of jesters, wee bells jingling, raced into the room, bopped Biff over the head with an inflated bladder and then fanned out among the students. "Huh."

He waved his hands at the tables. "Anyway, that's what you're doing today: making fruit baskets for dumbfucks. For your homework, I want you to deliver your basket, or baskets, if you know a lot of dumbfucks, to any that you've noticed around town. Just, um, don't tell them why they're getting the baskets. Dumbfucks tend to be touchy about being dumbfucks. Just give them a nicely vague smile—you know the kind, the ones you give to elderly people and the insane—and back away slowly. If they get really confused, sing a funeral dirge at 'em until they back away."

He clapped his hands together. "Okay, get started! Then we will celebrate with pizza."

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With your most thoughtful icon!

Seely Booth

Reno

Karal Austreben

Rikku

Jamie Madrox

Romeo Montague

Ami Mizuno

Sam Winchester

Aravis

William Kessler

Inara Serra

Katara

Boggle at Biff, or the jesters, or the fruit, or the assignment. There are a lot of options.

Reno mostly managed to ignore the jesters, to pay attention to the assignment. That was what Reno did, after all. Assignments.

No matter what, and all that.

Karal looked vaguely disturbed, though whether by the language or the sentiment was anyone's guess.

Of course, it could have been by the wee tiny jester that was trying to climb up his pants leg. "Off, get off, you stupid thing," he hissed at it, shaking his foot around.

It whacked him hard on the shin, then did a tumbling dance across his foot and disappeared.

Rikku was tired. And was very, very focused on her own desk. And carefully not looking at anyone else's.

She wasn't paying much attention the assignment. Something about fruit baskets. She could totally do fruit baskets. Okay, then.

Romeo was distracted by the jesters. Fruit for dumbfucks, whatever, he could do that, but he was more interested in the juggling pair perched on the windowsill.

... Look, they were working with fire, okay?

Inara was too busy boggling at the sword-swallowing jesters to hear much of the lesson, though she did vaguely catch something about fruit and dumbfucks, whatever those were.

Blessed are the dumbfucks, for they shall never be disappointed...

Hey. Fruit.

Reno put an apple into a basket. Maybe a second one for good measure.

Hey. Fruit basket.

He'd eat the apples himself, later.

Karal was making a fruit basket, in between having to fight the jesters for the grapes. They kept trying to balance on them and roll them across the desk. They kept failing, and squishing the grapes.

A couple of jesters may have ended up in the basket. Karal was trying to figure out if he could just give the basket to them. Surely they'd qualify.

Apple, apple, banana. Happy face.

A grape for a nose.

It looked stupid. So she scrapped the happy face and just started ... arranging fruit.

Fruit. Arranged.

Fruit baskets? Seriously?

Jamie shrugged and went to work.

Romeo absently stocked his basket with grapefruits, kiwis and strawberries.

The wee jugglers who had been tossing fire around were now trying to juggle strawberries almost as big as they were. Not nearly as impressive.

Sam wondered how much Dean would kill him if he made a basket for him. He couldn't really think of anyone he disliked enough to gift.

Inara was able to make several fruit baskets and began to wonder how she could go about getting several addresses.

Maybe Principal Washburn would help with one of them, and the other she could deliver herself. Sadly, as she had no address for her first Fandom Sexual Education teacher, the basket to Professor Bluth would go undelivered.

Hello, TA!

Karal stared at the wee jester on his desk in puzzlement. It seemed to be trying to communicate in mime, and what it was trying to communicate was...

Karal blushed bright red and covered his eyes. "That is not at all appropriate! I'm not sure if it is even physically possible!" There was a tugging at his sleeve. "No I don't want to find out!"

For once, Biff wasn't the oddest thing in the room.

Present him with a fruitbasket at your peril...

"Were the cheese makers one of the groups that got left out? And on a more serious note, were you and Joshua the only one's privy to the dumbfuck conversation? Because there's this whole notion these days of God taking care of fools."

Biff gave Billy a very long look, then pulled an elaborate fruit basket out from behind his desk and gave it to him. "This is for you," he said. "God's final word to Josh on people was 'fuck 'em.' He drowned the entire world to make a point. If you think being stupid is gonna save you, it's time to find a new religion."

"Ha!" Billy laughed. "That doesn't surprise me in the least." He ignored the fruit basket. "I was just wondering if someone overheard Joshua's comment about dumbfucks and took it to heart is all."

"Take the fruit basket and go away," Biff demanded.

"You're really not much for the art of conversation are you?"

"You're really not one for taking a hint when you've been given one wrapped in cellophane, huh?" Biff countered. "Bye now."

Billy was still smirking when he left. Without the basket.

Remember the wonderful rule of ICA=ICC. If you don't want someone to know where the fruit basket came from, make sure your drop is squirrel-proof ;)

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Interactive Religion [Tuesday, April 1]

Sign in [April 1]

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Listen to the lecture

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Make your fruit baskets!

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Talk to Karal!

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Talk to Biff!

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OOC