fandomhigh | The Art of Cool: Class 10, Period 2 (Friday, March 21)

Because You Still Don't Get That We're On Earth: For the Love of God, Make it Stop
Tink hoped they were all enjoying the sunshine, out here on The Mall. (Which was not a shopping mall, as she had been hoping it might be, but Tink could deal.) Wasn't it a lovely day? Tink certainly thought it was. And Barney was back! The class should tell Barney how much they'd missed him. Tink had! But that was personal and none of their business. Hi, Barney!

"You know, you could've at least been on the rescue team. I went 80 years without in that stasis tube for the record." This did not a happy Barney make. "Of course, here on The Mall during public school spring break we're not likely to find any people I'd be willing to let help me with that situation if you know what I mean."

Tink zipped up to Barney's left ear and whispered a few things of a decidedly personal nature. And wriggled a little for good measure.

Barney's eyes widened and he smiled. "Right, let's get this field trip over with!"

Hooray! Tink loved field trips, and Tink loved getting field trips over with! Now, students, did they have any idea why they were in Washington today? And no smart answers like "because we got on the bus", or else Tink was going to turn someone's hair green.

"Maybe you could turn it sage, just to be interesting," Barney said, glancing around at the students. "We are gathered here today before the Washington Monument to decide who is hot and who is not based on their hair, clothing, and overall state of hygiene."

George Washington was hugely in favor of fashion crimes receiving capital punishment. It was true! Look up your own history some time! So of course they would have to come here, for this. And because here was where the unwashed masses like to crawl around, with fanny packs and ugly sunglasses and t-shirts that they picked up in the hotel lobby gift shop. Ugh, tourists.

"That guy over there, the one with the FBI hat on, he is not an FBI agent." Or so Barney hoped. "He just thinks it's cool. We are here today to point out that it's not and remember what cool actually looks like."

If they needed help, cool was the exact opposite of that guy. Because that guy was sunburned, wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt - and did certain of her employees see why that was such a no-no? - and shorts that start much, much lower than his hugely pregnant beer gut. That guy bumped into cool once on a plane and cool spent three hours sanitizing its left shoulder. Ewwwwwwww.

"Now it's your turn. Feel free to pair up make observations about what you see. Should anyone ask about Ms. Bell, direct them to me and I will explain that we are making a film and she is a most excellent special effect." He was rather proud of this plan. "Now go, be ruthless. They deserve it for not trying when they woke up this morning."

And they didn't. None of these idiots had tried, this morning. And if they had, then George Washington and every merciful deity out there demanded that they be mocked within an inch of their lives. Or killed. Had anyone brought weapons?

Barney coughed and whispered something to Tink with wide, scared eyes.

Fine. No weapons, no killing the tourists, it might interrupt Barney's pursuit of hot women within the faculty administration. Was he happy now? Let the cruelty begin!

[FIELD TRIP!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Wouldn't want people talkin," Reno agreed, sticking out his tongue again.

It was a difficult habit to break, so sue him. "But for Romeo's sake, I guess I can lay off the innuendo, zoto."

[I did sleep! I got three whole hours, and then my dad arrived to drag me off to nowhereland about four hours earlier than he said he'd be. Whee!]

"Normally I like it when people talk, but I'm still trying on this whole 'dating' thing, and I'd rather not screw it up the first week," she admitted, glancing over at Romeo. "You can resume the innuendo later, yo, and I'll be right there with you. I'm not willing to change my stripes that much for anyone."

"Ooooh...we can play the innuendo game for my birthday, and see how many things we can make dirty." She turned her full attention back to Reno and grinned. "Wanna see who cracks first? Or shall it be a contest to see who makes your girl blush the worst?"

"Bonus points if it's innuendo about Rikku," Reno smirked. "She's freakin' cute when she blushes, yo."

"Cutest little lightweight I've ever seen," she agreed. "You gonna give me any material to go on, or am I just going to be flying blind, here?"

"Ninja raspberries," Reno replied conversationally.

No, no he wasn't going to elaborate. If this was going to be an innuendo war, she could just be creative, honestly.

"Kinky," Dōjima teased, twirling her hair as she thought. "Gives me a decent starting point, thanks."

Reno shrugged his shoulders and grinned some more.

"It's the least I can do, yo. I mean, I do got a bit of a head start, here."

"True. Unless I get to borrow her prior to tomorrow. Reeeeeennnnooooo? Can I borrow Rikku? For science?" She's totally kidding. Mostly.

Reno tilted his head, pretending to consider.

"Only if I get to watch," he decided. "For science."

"Fine with me, just clear it with that other blonde girl." Dōjima tilted her head at him and grinned. "You only want to watch? Now my feelings are hurt."

"Wait. I'm supposed to be being good. Bad Yurika, no cookie."

There went Reno, sticking out his tongue again.

"So much for that one, huh? Who would'a thought that this 'behaving' thing would be so damn difficult?"

"It's hard," she whined, flipping her hair back over her shoulder. "There needs to be an instruction booklet, or something. A twelve-step program. I can't do this cold-turkey!"

"Just so long as it doesn't get so bad that someone thinks they need to stage an intervention, I'm sure a little innuendo now and then for a fix can't hurt too much, right?"

Because, really, innuendo was fun. And hot. And such.

"In that case...my feelings are still hurt," she replied, smirking. "Just watching. I must be loosing my edge."

"Alas, I doubt Rikku would go for it, so I guess you'll have to make-do with those pictures of our pillowfight on your phone. You do still have those, right?"

"Damn straight I do," Reno grinned, patting the pocket his phone was sitting in before perking up and pointing at an oblivious tourist. "No way that kid should be wearin' skinny jeans, yo."

There was another box on the bingo card!

The Art of Cool: Class 10, Period 2 (Friday, March 21)

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Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]