fandomhigh | The Art of Cool: Class 10, Period 2 (Friday, March 21)

Because You Still Don't Get That We're On Earth: For the Love of God, Make it Stop
Tink hoped they were all enjoying the sunshine, out here on The Mall. (Which was not a shopping mall, as she had been hoping it might be, but Tink could deal.) Wasn't it a lovely day? Tink certainly thought it was. And Barney was back! The class should tell Barney how much they'd missed him. Tink had! But that was personal and none of their business. Hi, Barney!

"You know, you could've at least been on the rescue team. I went 80 years without in that stasis tube for the record." This did not a happy Barney make. "Of course, here on The Mall during public school spring break we're not likely to find any people I'd be willing to let help me with that situation if you know what I mean."

Tink zipped up to Barney's left ear and whispered a few things of a decidedly personal nature. And wriggled a little for good measure.

Barney's eyes widened and he smiled. "Right, let's get this field trip over with!"

Hooray! Tink loved field trips, and Tink loved getting field trips over with! Now, students, did they have any idea why they were in Washington today? And no smart answers like "because we got on the bus", or else Tink was going to turn someone's hair green.

"Maybe you could turn it sage, just to be interesting," Barney said, glancing around at the students. "We are gathered here today before the Washington Monument to decide who is hot and who is not based on their hair, clothing, and overall state of hygiene."

George Washington was hugely in favor of fashion crimes receiving capital punishment. It was true! Look up your own history some time! So of course they would have to come here, for this. And because here was where the unwashed masses like to crawl around, with fanny packs and ugly sunglasses and t-shirts that they picked up in the hotel lobby gift shop. Ugh, tourists.

"That guy over there, the one with the FBI hat on, he is not an FBI agent." Or so Barney hoped. "He just thinks it's cool. We are here today to point out that it's not and remember what cool actually looks like."

If they needed help, cool was the exact opposite of that guy. Because that guy was sunburned, wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt - and did certain of her employees see why that was such a no-no? - and shorts that start much, much lower than his hugely pregnant beer gut. That guy bumped into cool once on a plane and cool spent three hours sanitizing its left shoulder. Ewwwwwwww.

"Now it's your turn. Feel free to pair up make observations about what you see. Should anyone ask about Ms. Bell, direct them to me and I will explain that we are making a film and she is a most excellent special effect." He was rather proud of this plan. "Now go, be ruthless. They deserve it for not trying when they woke up this morning."

And they didn't. None of these idiots had tried, this morning. And if they had, then George Washington and every merciful deity out there demanded that they be mocked within an inch of their lives. Or killed. Had anyone brought weapons?

Barney coughed and whispered something to Tink with wide, scared eyes.

Fine. No weapons, no killing the tourists, it might interrupt Barney's pursuit of hot women within the faculty administration. Was he happy now? Let the cruelty begin!

[FIELD TRIP!]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Be horrified! Or conversely, look like a tourist!

You're at the mall. Lounge on a blanket and chit-chat. Enjoy the sun.

It's like shooting fish in a barrel. Seriously. Tourists. It's also public school spring break, so the families are everywhere

We dare you to ask him what's wrong.

Who are very interestedly watching the idiots in line for the carousel.

Here's a llama, there's a llama
and another little llama
fuzzy llama, funny llama
llama llama duck.

Ron Weasley

Ron spent the entire bus ride down glaring at Barney.

He still hasn't stopped.

Jeff Murdock

Reno

There was sky, here. And grass. And trees. And a huge-ass spire thingie. And more grass. And water. Craploads of water.

It was sure as hell no Midgar.

Reno was doing an admirable job of not staring at the scenery. And maybe looking a little out of place amongst all the tacky tourists with that covert-ops look of his going on.

Sorry for the lack of clarification earlier. For people who've never been to the area, here's what we're talking about.

Washington, DC and Alexandria, VA could be one big city, if not for the Potomac River cutting right through the middle. (Google Map! (http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=washington,+dc&ie=UTF8&layer=c&ll=38.854681,-77.062912&spn=0.267359,0.6427&z=11&iwloc=addr)) Therefore: this is not very far to go on a field trip, and they probably stuck you on real school buses for it.

More importantly, we're at the National Mall, inbetween two monuments: the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial. Running between the two is a very long, rectangular shallow pool of water known as the Reflecting Pool.

This (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:DC_mall_lincoln-enhanced.jpg) is the Washington Monument, with the Reflecting Pool in the foreground, and this (http://www.visitingdc.com/memorial/reflecting-pool-washington-dc.htm) is a picture of the Lincoln Memorial as seen from the top of the Washington Monument.

Here (http://www.visitingdc.com/museum/national-mall-washington-dc.htm) is an overhead shot, and Google Maps (http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=washington+monument&ie=UTF8&ll=38.889029,-77.042527&spn=0.008351,0.020084&z=16) gives a nice clear layout of it all here.

You're sitting at the Reflecting Pool, watching people walk between the two monuments. It's a gorgeous place.

Our apologies to the non-local peeps who would have no way of knowing this and were going "Um ... where are we?"

Zack Addy

Marco

Dōjima Yurika

This? Was too easy. She needed a way to narrow down the tacky.

Dōjima grabbed her notebook out of her purse, and quickly drew up a bingo sheet, labeling the squares with various crimes against fashion. "Hey, who else wants to play 'Uncool Bingo'? If you can fill your card using just one tourist, you get a cookie!"

Reno grinned and waved a hand at the notebook.

"You got a spare page in there for me?"

"That's not very nice," Ron grumbled. "Just because some people can't afford nice clothes isn't a reason to mock them."

"For you, Red, always," she said, scribbling up a board and handing it to him. "First one to spell 'Fugly' is the winner of the round."

Reno smirked and took the board.

"Does it gotta be with a tourist? Because I think I could win this game real quick if I just looked at Princess Ron, zoto."

"I'm not talking about the economically disadvantaged," she said, showing him a board. "See? It's got things like 'Frankenstein hair' and 'abuses neon'. I mock blindness and idiocy, not socioeconomic bracket. Today. Wanna play?"

And that would be Ron shooting a glare at Reno.

"With that hair of yours I wouldn't be talking."

"Nothing that gets me thrown in detention, I got plans for Saturday." The unrepentant smirk might hint at the nature of said plans. "I didn't get my party last week, I'm celebrating this week."

"Hair's just one tick on the board, sweetheart. Hardly gonna spell 'fugly' to win you the game, even if there was somethin' wrong with it."

It was taking Reno great amounts of self-control to keep himself from reaching back to preen his ponytail.

"Oh, shit, yeah. I heard about that. Happy belated birthday or whatever, yo." Reno grinned and casually tapped at the paper with one finger. "You know, I got no idea what the hell to get you for your birthday."

Edited 2008-03-21 13:09 (UTC)

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The Art of Cool: Class 10, Period 2 (Friday, March 21)

Sign In [3/21]

Talk Amongst Yourselves [3/21]

Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Your TA aka Barney's Alleged Grandson [3/21]

Your Most Awesome Professors [3/21]

OOC [3/21]

Re: Sign In [3/21]

Re: Your TA aka Barney's Alleged Grandson [3/21]

Re: Sign In [3/21]

Re: Sign In [3/21]

Re: Talk Amongst Yourselves [3/21]

Re: OOC [3/21] - INFO FOR NON-LOCAL PEEPS

Re: Sign In [3/21]

Re: Sign In [3/21]

Re: Sign In [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]