fandomhigh | The Art of Cool: Class 10, Period 2 (Friday, March 21)

Because You Still Don't Get That We're On Earth: For the Love of God, Make it Stop
Tink hoped they were all enjoying the sunshine, out here on The Mall. (Which was not a shopping mall, as she had been hoping it might be, but Tink could deal.) Wasn't it a lovely day? Tink certainly thought it was. And Barney was back! The class should tell Barney how much they'd missed him. Tink had! But that was personal and none of their business. Hi, Barney!

"You know, you could've at least been on the rescue team. I went 80 years without in that stasis tube for the record." This did not a happy Barney make. "Of course, here on The Mall during public school spring break we're not likely to find any people I'd be willing to let help me with that situation if you know what I mean."

Tink zipped up to Barney's left ear and whispered a few things of a decidedly personal nature. And wriggled a little for good measure.

Barney's eyes widened and he smiled. "Right, let's get this field trip over with!"

Hooray! Tink loved field trips, and Tink loved getting field trips over with! Now, students, did they have any idea why they were in Washington today? And no smart answers like "because we got on the bus", or else Tink was going to turn someone's hair green.

"Maybe you could turn it sage, just to be interesting," Barney said, glancing around at the students. "We are gathered here today before the Washington Monument to decide who is hot and who is not based on their hair, clothing, and overall state of hygiene."

George Washington was hugely in favor of fashion crimes receiving capital punishment. It was true! Look up your own history some time! So of course they would have to come here, for this. And because here was where the unwashed masses like to crawl around, with fanny packs and ugly sunglasses and t-shirts that they picked up in the hotel lobby gift shop. Ugh, tourists.

"That guy over there, the one with the FBI hat on, he is not an FBI agent." Or so Barney hoped. "He just thinks it's cool. We are here today to point out that it's not and remember what cool actually looks like."

If they needed help, cool was the exact opposite of that guy. Because that guy was sunburned, wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt - and did certain of her employees see why that was such a no-no? - and shorts that start much, much lower than his hugely pregnant beer gut. That guy bumped into cool once on a plane and cool spent three hours sanitizing its left shoulder. Ewwwwwwww.

"Now it's your turn. Feel free to pair up make observations about what you see. Should anyone ask about Ms. Bell, direct them to me and I will explain that we are making a film and she is a most excellent special effect." He was rather proud of this plan. "Now go, be ruthless. They deserve it for not trying when they woke up this morning."

And they didn't. None of these idiots had tried, this morning. And if they had, then George Washington and every merciful deity out there demanded that they be mocked within an inch of their lives. Or killed. Had anyone brought weapons?

Barney coughed and whispered something to Tink with wide, scared eyes.

Fine. No weapons, no killing the tourists, it might interrupt Barney's pursuit of hot women within the faculty administration. Was he happy now? Let the cruelty begin!

[FIELD TRIP!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"He should hurt good," Reno agreed, none-too-thrilled himself about Sokka suggesting it was nothing shy of a miracle that he had managed to stay sober during the angel crisis. "Public humiliation's always a nice place to start, I'm thinkin."

"Cut off his ponytail, spraypaint him green, steal all his clothes," Romeo mused. "He dates Mel, but I think if anything she would help us, not hinder us."

"Or you could start a scurrilous rumor about him on radio."

"The rumor on the radio would be the easy way to do it, wouldn't it?" Reno tapped his pen against his bingo board, deep in thought. "Means we'd have to come up with a good one. Maybe a few good ones. Green's probably a good color for him, too. Scandalous liaison with a lizard?" ... "Nah. Not believable enough, zoto."

[Crashing for sleep like a crashing thing! Sp is so much love, omg.]

"Not even on the island," Romeo said woefully. "Perhaps an unnaturally close with a different pet? Who does he live with?"

"Or you could just say he wets the bed."

[OOC: sleep, you!]

"Bed wetting's good!" Reno was grinning, now. "Between that and his unnaturally close pet, I'm thinkin' we got dirt on Sokka, yo."

[Threeeee hours. I got threeeeee hours.]

"Poor Sokka, to be so afflicted," Romeo said, shaking his head in exaggerated woe. "And, more to the point, poor Sokka's linens."

"It is only your duty to let the campus know all of this, of course."

"Damn straight," Reno agreed with a slow, not-quite-sad-but-he-could-pretend sort of nod. "It's a solemn duty, man, but someone's gotta do it, yo. I mean, how else is the student body gonna know to be careful of Boom's little... issues?"

He leaned forward, grinning.

"And someone's gotta let people know to keep a close eye on their housepets."

"The school is lucky to have such an attentive newsreader," Romeo nodded firmly, and with a wicked grin. "I'm sure Girl will be only appreciative to not have to live with such secrets burdening his soul."

"It'll be a real load off," Reno agreed. "And, you know, it'll keep me from killin' the guy, too. Double bonus. He should thank us."

"And if he does not, then we beat him," Romeo replied cheerfully. "And somehow I am in a better mood now than I was when we started talking"

"Whoever said revenge wasn't sweet obviously never met our good buddy Boom," Reno decided, giving a nod of his head. "Somehow, I'm in a better mood, too, yo."

And it was hard to improve on the mood that he had been in.

The Art of Cool: Class 10, Period 2 (Friday, March 21)

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Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]

Re: Mock the Tourists! [3/21]