(no subject)

[swerval_zero]

Zero is excused from library duties this week due to punishment detail, but due to Janet's weird behavior and the fact that Professor Methos generally can't be found anywhere before ten AM, she stops by the library to open up, bearing coffee for the librarian.

Comments

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

When he appears (finally), Methos looks like crap. He's wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and it's a good bet that he never slept.

"Bless you for the coffee." He takes a sip.

[swerval_zero]

Not a problem, Professor. Is something wrong?

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

Something. Yeah. Somebody's going around school and attacking people. Some of them are stupid pranks. Some of them -- well, two students and one teacher that I know of ended up in the clinic last night. I'm worried.

[swerval_zero]

Oh. I...that's really not good.

Y'know, somebody blasted us with polka music while we were cleanin' the roof yesterday. It was awful. Terrible and horrible. There were...accordions. *post-polka traumatic shock*

{KENNY}

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

It was a risk to get within sensing distance of Methos, but it was too much fun to tweak him. Kenny up-ended a box of marbles and let them roll across the floor.

Re: {KENNY}

[swerval_zero]

Well, I guess I should get to class. See you later, Professor.

*Zero takes a step back, square onto a handful of marbles, and flips over, landing hard on her back* Wha--

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

I just want you to be careful. I don't know...

[Methos pauses and has an arrested look on his face, like he just sensed an Immortal or is having a flashback or is having indigestion -- it's hard to tell. Maybe it's all the coffee.]

[swerval_zero]

Believe me, in this squallin' place I'm always careful.

Re: {KENNY}

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

*torn desperately between wanting to help and wanting to killchasemaim*

*stays to help*

Are you okay? Did you hit your head?

Re: {KENNY}

[swerval_zero]

*pushes herself up on her hands, slowly and carefully*

I think so. Got the air knocked out of me. What the squall was that? *glances around* Marbles??

Re: {KENNY}

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Marbles. A child's game.

*gritted out between his teeth* I. Am. Going. To. KILL. Him.

Re: {KENNY}

[swerval_zero]

*confused, slightly dazed look* Kill who?

Re: {KENNY}

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

Draco Malfoy.

Re: {KENNY}

[swerval_zero]

Draco Malfoy? Swotty little brat with the wand?

Re: {KENNY}

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

About so high, blond, annoying? Yeah. Him.

Re: {KENNY}

[swerval_zero]

*considers*

Yeah, all right. Go get 'im.

*lowers herself back to the library floor* I'll just...be right here.

Re: {KENNY}

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

Do you need to go to the clinic? I can take you.

Re: {KENNY}

[swerval_zero]

Nah, I'll be all right. I just need a minute.

Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[swerval_zero]

*That evening. Zero enters the library, carrying a very pretty, very, very grumpy kitty.*

Um. Professor? I seem to have a bit of a problem

*holds out the kitty*

This is Julian.

[julian-lawless.livejournal.com]

*flattens ears* Mrrrrrrrrowwwwwww. *tail lashes*

Translation: I resent being called a problem. If anything, the books this large-nosed person keeps in his library are the problem, since they randomly transform students into cats.

[swerval_zero]

Well, your bein' a rather violent cat certainly seems like a problem to me.

...oh my squall, this is ridiculous.

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

That's a odd nice name for a cat. "Princess" wasn't good enough?

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[swerval_zero]

Um, no...Professor, this is Julian Sark. The student who went missing during Zombie Weekend?

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

Are you SURE you didn't hit your head earlier (http://www.livejournal.com/community/fandomhigh/174873.html?thread=6943257#t6943257)?

[julian-lawless.livejournal.com]

*merely turns his head and gives Zero the cat-gaze of "You are so utterly inferior to me, human," before transferring his stare to the librarian and mewing inquiringly*

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[swerval_zero]

I'm sure, Professor. An' even if I had, I've got a hard head.

I'm takin' Cat, remember? The cat said he's Julian.

[swerval_zero]

*gives kitty!Sark the same look right back, slightly tempered as she is currently human*

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

And the sentences you never expected to hear with a straight face...

*fixes a stern eye on the cat* If you are Julian Sark, I want you to lift your left paw and hold it.

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

How odd. It's almost like... he's trying to communicate.

[swerval_zero]

Hey. You. Prove your personhood.

[swerval_zero]

He is tryin' t'communicate. That's what I've been tellin' you!

[julian-lawless.livejournal.com]

*calmly, deliberately, reaches out with a paw and swats Methos's nose. Sadly without white paint to make it a cute UST moment.* Mew mrow mrrrrrrffft!

Translation: For someone who's purportedly thousands of years old, you're rather clueless, aren't you? Maybe you shouldn't be carrying sharp objects around.

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

Ow! *rubs his nose* Maybe he needs to be fixed.

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[julian-lawless.livejournal.com]

*would roll his eyes if he could. As it is, he lifts his left paw and holds it, wobbling, in the air for several seconds. Then flashes his claws and starts making the air-raid-siren noise of an annoyed cat* RrrrrrrrRRRRrrrrrrr...

[swerval_zero]

Hey. That's not very nice.

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

All right, all right.

*stares at the cat*

*the cat stares back*

*stares at the cat some more*

I... uh, have no idea how to help him.

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[swerval_zero]

*considers dropping the kitty*

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[swerval_zero]

I don't either, that's why I brought him to you!

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

Well, magic isn't my strong suit. Um... *to Sark!Kitty* do you know how you became a cat?

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[julian-lawless.livejournal.com]

*reluctantly holds still, not yet willing to test the theory that cats alwats land on their feet, and meows at great length--and rather shrilly*

Translation: It was one of the books in Special Collections. I went back there after the zombie attack, and that's the last thing I remember. When I woke up, I was a cat.

And what do you mean, you can't help? You're the librarian, you should at least be aware that your books have strange powers!

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[swerval_zero]

He says it was one of the books in Special Collections.

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[swerval_zero]

*looks down at kitty!Sark*

Well, it's not our fault that between the zombies and the mad rushes for library cards no one's had time to catalogue.

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[julian-lawless.livejournal.com]

Rrrrrroooowwwww*snarl* mew!

Translation: There were entire weeks of classes before Zombie Weekend that could have been spent in cataloguing, but nooooo. He had to keep chasing after blond kids and having UST with his assistants and Professor Cregg.

Fine. If the all-wise ancient one can't help me, who do you think might?

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[swerval_zero]

Squalled if I know.

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[julian-lawless.livejournal.com]

*series of annoyed mewing noises*

Translation: Lovely. What am I supposed to do, hope this wears off? Become the mascot of the dorms? Get sympathy from all the people who turn sappy at the sight of something furry that purrs?...

*The annoyed noises segue into a thoughtful purr*

Re: Return of the Cute Ittle Kitty

[swerval_zero]

*strokes kitty!Sark soothingly*

I could get you some tuna?