fandomhigh | Criminal Justice (As Taught By A Criminal) - Period 3

Today Deadpool was bouncy. For many reasons, but none of those were needed to be known by the wee students and their twisted little minds and stop picturing him naked, you sick sick little kids!

...ahem.

Anyway! He twirled a set of handcuffs gleefully, waiting for everyone to arrive. "Gooooood morning class! Today we have an exercise for you to do. And a very special guest to help demonstrate proper procedure." He glanced over at his wonder special crazy guest. "Isn't that right?"

"I can't believe I agreed to do this," Fraser said, looking stricken. "You'd better have a key, you'd better not leave me in this class by myself and this has no bearing on any...three letter thing."

Deadpool paused. "No, Benton, I doubt cats have anything to do with this class. And of course I have a key!" A beat. "Somewhere."

Fraser looked even more stricken. It wasn't that he hadn't used handcuffs lately, it was just those times had been... not with Deadpool. "If you ate it, I'm going to be very unpleasant to you."

Awww.

Deadpool made a note to congratulate him on not blushing.

"I didn't eat anything," He said, suddenly snapping a cuff on one of Fraser's wrists. "Well, I did, but it was edible and made of delicious pastry."

"Please, not too tight," Fraser said, trying not to whine but he was wary of Deadpool using handcuffs on him. Very wary. "And no tearing my uniform once I am handcuffed. I need this uniform as it's my only one right now."

"Benton, please. There are impressionable children present. You're giving them the wrong idea here." He grinned at the class, waving the cuffs-- and Fraser's wrist-- about. "You have two options here-- well, three, kinda. If you're mean. Cuff them up front, in back, oooooor---"

He kicked behind Fraser's knee to force him to his knees, pulling his cuffed hand up and bent over his head.

"--you can be mean!"

Fraser suppressed a wince at both the arm wrenching and the sudden floor underneath his knees. "Was that really necessary? You couldn't just ask me to get on my knees? I would have!"

...

"Yoooou might wanna rethink that, Benny."

"Don't call me that," Fraser groused, not seeing how what he'd said was so bad. "It would've been a polite courtesy to ask me to get on my knees. I would have, you would have said thank you and I would have said you're welcome and it would have saved me a sore arm."

Fraser needed to shut up.

Yes, yes he did.

"I'll get you kneepads next time, okay?" Wade replied, letting go of his arm and fishing for the keys. "But it was an excellent example, right kids?" A beat. "This is the part where you clap."

Fraser, still grumbling, was too polite not to clap. So, he clapped one hand against one thigh. "Bravo. An excellent demonstration of handcuffing skills."

"I like to think so," Deadpool said, finding a small ring of keys. "Now, I want all you to split up into teams of two and practice this. I have keys here and... I'm not exactly sure what key goes with what hand cuff, so... have fun!"

Squinting at the ring, he frowned. "Probably should start on you."

"I will stay here all day until you find the key," Fraser threatened. "I will go home with you if I have to. I am not leaving your sight until you find the key to this handcuff."

"Impressionable!" Wade shouted.

[[OOC: ~~Please wait for the~~ OCD is up!]]

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She grinned, "Well, if you ever want to talk to him? He's the one working with Isabel right now on the handcuffs."

If Peter thought there was anything wrong with siblings handcuffing one another... actually the question never crossed his mind in the first place. Forget we mentioned it.

"Good to know," Peter said.

Ino scooped up the handcuffs and offered them to Peter. "Cuff me?" She asked, grinning.

"Okay," Peter said. He took the handcuffs and waited for her to hold her hands out. "You have the right to blah blah blah."

She was giggling, but she held her hands out. "I still think that's silly," she said, "I like your version better."

Peter went to put the cuffs on her, trying to close them just tight enough that they'd stay on but not so tight that they'd hurt. "Anything you say can and will be laughed about later by the folks who gave you the good advice to shut up so you don't incriminate yourself..."

There was more giggling from her. "I'm pretty sure that's not how it goes," she laughed, "but please, continue."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Weren't you paying attention when we covered that in class? Let's see... if you cannot afford an attorney you're probably like most people in this country who can't afford insurance either. Try to remember that during the next election cycle."

She blinked innocently at him. "I don't have insurance here," Ino pointed out, "I'm not from here. And I have no idea about how that works with election cycles."

"My brother wants to be president some day," Peter said. "Politics seeps into my brain entirely against my will. I make it up by making sure he stays human. Metaphorically."

Because in Fandom you had to clarify that sort of thing.

She grinned, wiggling her hands in the cuffs as she inspected them. "Just keep the brain seepage away from me," she said, "and I'll pretend I know what you mean my president."

"Short version is the person who runs this country," Peter said. "Long version involves explaining Congress and checks and balances and I like you too much to do that."

"And I'm ever so grateful that you do," she grinned at him, fiddling with the cuffs, "very grateful. 'Person who runs this country' is good enough for me."

"I've never seen the point in getting distracted with the technical details," Peter said. Motioning to the cuffs, he asked "You okay there?"

"I'm fine," Ino said absently, "give me a second and I'll be free of these." Ninja training was so useful at times. "So, you don't like technical details and your brother does, right? I mean, if he wants to run everything..."

"Oh yeah," Peter said. "Nathan loves all that. We're all pretty sure I was adopted."

She laughed, "That seems like a pretty flimsy basis to think something like that. Do you think he'd be good at running a country?"

"Absolutely," Peter said without hesitation. "He'd be amazing at it."

"I'll keep that in mind if I ever have a chance to vote," she said brightly, "but I doubt I'd have a chance. Pretty sure I don't exist to any government here." Ino glanced down, fiddled with the cuffs for a moment longer, then grinned, holding up the cuffs that weren't on her wrists any longer, "Ta-dah, I'm free. What are you going to do about that?"