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fandomhigh2008-01-14 11:04 pm
nojesusfreak.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2008-01-14 11:04 pm
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Interactive Religion [Tuesday, January 15]
Biff was in the Danger Room, which was set up as hot, dark, desert town, sipping on a huge mug of coffee as the class arrived.
"Though they've fallen out of favor now," Biff said, "at least on this world, the major religion that dominated my time was a polytheistic one. The Romans had gods -- and graven idols -- for everything. We Jews have just the one. Um, God, not graven idols. We didn't do well with graven idols. I was told by a Phoenician that we wouldn't worry so much if we had more than one god, but he also told me that he'd screwed a turtle, so I'm not really relying much on his spiritual guidance."
He leaned against a pillar. "Your task today isn't to decide if there is a god, or multiple gods, and it's certainly not to rant at me about whatever wrongs you feel religion has inflicted upon you."
He waved a hand towards several giant statues of Apollo. "Your job today is to circumcise that statue of Apollo before the Roman centurions catch you."
He grinned. "It's a religious experience. Really."
"Though they've fallen out of favor now," Biff said, "at least on this world, the major religion that dominated my time was a polytheistic one. The Romans had gods -- and graven idols -- for everything. We Jews have just the one. Um, God, not graven idols. We didn't do well with graven idols. I was told by a Phoenician that we wouldn't worry so much if we had more than one god, but he also told me that he'd screwed a turtle, so I'm not really relying much on his spiritual guidance."
He leaned against a pillar. "Your task today isn't to decide if there is a god, or multiple gods, and it's certainly not to rant at me about whatever wrongs you feel religion has inflicted upon you."
He waved a hand towards several giant statues of Apollo. "Your job today is to circumcise that statue of Apollo before the Roman centurions catch you."
He grinned. "It's a religious experience. Really."
Re: Circumcise Apollo!
The other was staying in place. And they looked like they were chatting. Uh. Maybe that could work? Maybe he was a bored Centurion who was sick of guarding an, uh, un-whatevered statued?
Too bad she hadn't taught Andrew the Al Bhed for "work it, woohoo!"
Re: Circumcise Apollo!
"So, Mr. Centurion," he continued. "Is that breastplate an accurate representation of your manly physique? Because I really just want to, um..."
He had to remind himself that this guy wasn't real.
"... lick you right about now."
That really got the centurion's attention. He smiled at Andrew and took a step away from the statue.