fandomhigh | Ethics [Thursday, November 8, 1st period]

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Ethics [Thursday, November 8, 1st period]

Anakin was quieter than usual, trying to shake off the feeling of foreboding he'd woken up with. He hoped it had nothing to do with the bachelor party he'd be attending later in the day.

His weekend plans weren't far from his mind, though, as the day's lesson made clear. "Love is patient, love is kind," he began, then made the universal symbol for "blah, blah, blah" with his hand.

He might secretly be a soft touch on the subject, but no one in this room would ever know it.

"In the Jedi Order, we were taught that in order to maintain proper distance, to negotiate impartially across our galaxy, we were to strive for serenity, not passion. To be proper Jedi, we shall not know anger, or hatred, or love."

He crossed his arms over his chest and glanced around the room, eyes resting on Qui-Gon and Jaina for longer moments. "Is this an unreasonable standard to hold someone to?"

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Aravis thought for a moment.

Then replied, "I just don't think that's possible. I've tried to keep from caring and it doesn't work. Even if you deny it to everyone, to yourself, even, and bury it, it's something you cannot prevent. You can ignore it, but falling in love or caring for friends or forming bonds -- we can try, but it will happen, and denying it does no good."

"'Acknowledge and move on,'" Anakin recited. "There are more important things than if you are personally fulfilled. My best friend and I were both Jedi--closer than brothers--but he would've gone after me with a lightsaber without a second thought if he believed I was straying too far from the path I was supposed to be following."

There was just a little bit of bitterness in Anakin's voice.

"How...sad," she said after moment.

Something undefinable flashed in Anakin's eyes. "He was always the epitome of what it meant to be Jedi."

"Then I feel very sorry for the Jedi," she said quietly.

"Don't," Anakin snapped, crossing his arms over his chest and looming. "We don't need your pity."

"I'll just pretend I don't, and it'll go away then, right?" Aravis replied, recoiling slightly and trying to keep a hold on her temper. "Emotions work that way, of course. Ignore the instinct and it no longer exists."

"I didn't say ignore," Anakin said a little heatedly. "I said move past."

He took a breath and calmed himself down. "I don't need to take what you think about the Jedi personally," he said in a more neutral tone. "Being angry about it does nothing productive."

"Because we live without passion, right?" Aravis said, adopting a very smooth, oh-so calm tone. Her court voice. "My, what a lovely existence this is, to care so blandly."

"It would certainly save us all from a lot of the more idiotic mistakes that have been made when relationships go bad," Anakin retorted.

So much for Jedi calm.

"They're worth it," she snapped. "All the idiocy in the world is worth it for even a moment of real, genuine love."

Anakin's eyes blazed. "That is something only the terribly young and the galactically stupid believe. I've seen the lives of trillions destroyed over someone's ill-advised love affair. No emotion is worth that kind of fallout."

"No," Aravis snapped, "you can talk to me about the worth of love when you're utterly rejected and left entirely alone against your own damn will. Talk to me about how little we need love, and how stupid it is, when you've been shoved out to deal on your own, and then given a second chance by people who actually do care. You can tell me then how little we need it, how stupid it is. Not everyone is a fool who will destroy everything. Some of us are just starving and finally remembering how to eat."

It was a lot more raw than she let herself be in class, and as a result, Aravis quickly quieted, crossing her arms around herself.

"And when they take it away again," Anakin said softly, something very wounded in his eyes, "it is absolutely the worst feeling you'll ever know. The Jedi knew what they were talking about."

He swept away before he could say something that would leave him even more vulnerable.

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Ethics [Thursday, November 8, 1st period]

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