fandomhigh | Ethics [Thursday, November 1, 1st period]

Anakin leaned a little uncomfortably against his desk as he waited for the students to take their seats.

"Today we talk about diligence, temperance, and forgiveness," he said quietly, "and we're going to use examples from last week's exercise to do so."

He flipped the hologram to life, focusing on a shot of Palpatine's face. "The goal was to save this man, the democratically chosen leader of your galaxy, at the cost--if necessary--of your own lives. After the first dozen or so droids shooting at you, you certainly had the option of retreating and leaving the mission for someone else to complete. So when does diligence turn to foolhardiness?"

The holocam switched to footage of two Jedi, blue blades flashing, taking on an older man wielding a red lightsaber. The older Jedi went ricocheting into a wall, then the second one, fire in his eyes, closed in on their opponent who dropped to his knees moments later with two lightsabers held to his throat.

The Jedi wielding the lightsabers looked an awful lot like their teacher.

"Temperance," Anakin said softly. "Do you kill him now? He's dangerous. He held the head of a galaxy-wide government hostage. He injured your partner. He certainly tried to kill you first. Or do you capture him and leave him to the whims of the courts?"

He shook his head. "Finally, forgiveness. You save the chancellor, at great personal expense, only to discover he's not the kind of man you thought he was. Your act of heroism has managed to make the situation at home much, much worse. How do you forgive yourself for it? Can you forgive the others who put you into that position?"

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She smiled a little. "But I wanted to. Good people don't want to."

"Good people don't go through with it," Anakin corrected. "But good people pushed into an impossible position will do a lot of things. And you, young one, were pushed about as hard as you could be."

"I'd kill them if they came back," she said quietly.

"I'd stop you from delivering that blow if I could," Anakin said softly. "Hatred and fear eat you alive from the inside. Don't let them have that kind of hold on you. They certainly don't deserve it."

"They don't get to hurt me again."

"You sound like me," Anakin said, "and that's not a good thing. I hold on to painful memories too long, nurse grudges for years...and it's a failing."

She shook her head vehemently. "It's all well and good to talk about forgiveness and pretending your fine, but I can't do that," she said, her voice almost cracking.

She wouldn't. She had too much pride to break now.

"I would kill them in a heartbeat. They do not get to win again. And if that is bad, then I am bad. It's a matter of learning to accept myself."

Heartbreak flashed in his eyes very quickly before he schooled himself back to neutrality.

"It's not a matter of accepting this terrible thing you think you are," he said, tone firm, "because you're not. But you're frightened and angry," he continued, tone softening, "and that's how you end up doing things you regret, no matter how justified you feel it might be in the moment. That man...he'd cut off my arm in a fight we'd had years before. He tried to kill my best friend. He threatened my wife. He'd kidnapped the leader of the Galactic Republic."

He paused. "And he deserved justice. What I delivered was revenge."

"Sometimes it's the same thing," she said quietly.

"Not that time," Anakin said just as quietly, watching her with worried eyes.

"Sounds like it was. Eye for an eye, all of that."

"It wasn't," Anakin said, tone getting a little sharp.

If it was to drown out the memory of Palpatine hissing at him to kill Dooku, well, then it was.

"Justice has a process. It's not you and a sword and no one telling you not to listen to that dark part of your soul."

Aravis recoiled slightly. "And what of personal justice? Do they not deserve to pay for what they have done, and who better to know than me?" she asked, her own voice hardening slightly.

"You're not judge, jury and executioner, my lady," Anakin said firmly. "And you don't want to be."

"I should be, in this case," she said, shaking her head.

Anakin shook his head, looking a little concerned. "No. In the heat of battle, with your heart pumping and your emotions unchecked, to do something you regret is one thing. To think about it, to plan it out...that is something else entirely." His eyes were troubled when they met hers. "That is crossing a line you don't want to, Aravis."

"They took something from me," she said heatedly. "If they come back, I will ensure that they can never do that again."

"Absolutely not," Anakin said, a bite in his voice. "You will not become like them. It doesn't make you feel any better. It doesn't make you whole. It doesn't bring back what they have taken from you. It just leaves you with their blood on your hands and you having to live with that."

And that was the voice of experience, much as he hated to admit it.

She crossed her arms around herself. "I can't not want to."

"Oh, you can," Anakin said softly, "you're just choosing not to. The anger is easier to deal with than the vulnerability."

"And what if they do come back?" she asked quietly.

"Then you scream like hell for back up," Anakin said. "Taking them on alone will prove nothing."

"What if there is no backup? There wasn't before, aside from Seely, and he would kill them in an instant for me."

It was the first time she'd really thought about it, and it almost made her smile.

"And telling any student at this school to look for an adult is just asking for the biggest eyeroll of all time, isn't it?" Anakin asked rhetorically. "If it's just you, and your life is in danger, then you take them out. But going off and looking for trouble--trying to find them to inflict your own version of justice on them--that's crossing a line."

"I have no intention of looking for them," she said, shaking her head.

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