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advanced negotiations

Advanced Negotiations

Good afternoon

I’d like to begin by getting to know the class. If you could tell me why you picked this class... "Because I had to" is not an acceptable answer. We all have choices, whether it is clear or if it is not.

I’d also like to know what you hope to learn here.

Now, we’re going to have little bit or a writing assignment here. This won’t be graded. Yes, you have to do it as it does count towards class participation. For the next class, I want you to give me a minimum of 1 page, double spaced, answer to this question:

What do I think advanced negotiations are?

We will be discussing this next week. I think this will be a good way to get a feel of where we are... and where we need to go.

~~Why do I get the feeling the answers will scare me right back to Naboo?~~

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Im here cause I think Im already damned good at negotiatin'

Advanced negotiations are what you do when talking just isn't sinking in. That's why Jedi have mouths and lightsabers, as Master Windu used to say. (Well, most of the Jedi have mouths, anyway. I'm not trying to be speciest.)

It's what you do to make sure your arguments are making an impression.

*pleased smile* Right?

Advanced Negotiations are about....

... making sure kidnappers are extradicted into a jurisdiction with the death penalty.

... preventing the defection of underlings and minions to other companies by use of *implied* threats, instead of actual threats. Thus, lawsuits are avoided.

... drawing discussions and trade agreements out until the correct time, say, when your country's currency is strongest, and then allowing an agreement to be reached that is most beneficial to you and least beneficial to the opposition, sometimes with the addition of stock manipulation.

... knowing the correct and proper bribe to present, and in the most polite and understated manner, in order to place one's interests discreetly in the forefront. (i.e., my recent (albeit failed) negotiations with Mr. Jerusalem (http://wwww.livejournal.com/users/jerusalem_s) regarding an extension on curfews)

... avoiding the difficulties that come with the use of violence if at all possible, but having the number for your local mafia contact ready in case sweet reason fails.

Is that what you were looking for?

*hears a resounding crash outside the door*
*gets up to go out to it*

That'll be Shel.. sorry... forgot I was supposed to bring him.

Advanced negotiations are making the other side think they're getting something out of the deal when you conquer their country. It's the fine art of manipulation.

::laughs:: Advanced Negotiations is what you do with your pulse rifle after you after you realize the ten foot tall fekkik isn't gonna be talked outta believing his money accidently fell in your pocket. Or, um, knowing how much, uh, how much "service" to bribe someone with when one of your crewmates does something to frell up the original negotiating. Right?

Why I took the class? See, I only seem to be good at it half of the time. The other half of the times seems to... seems to make everything worse.

Advanced Negotiations are for when more formal deplomacy fails. When your parlayman's head is returned to you less the rest of his body, and you must find a way through, with an army at your doorstep, that is advanced negotiations.

And sometimes the most advanced involve no bloodshed or drawn weapons at all.

I think that if I had some advanced negotiation skills, I might not have been ducktaped to a flagpole on my first day of school last year... Let's just say I hope to avoid any other "failures in communication"

*shuffles in late and sits at the back of the class*

Advanced Negociations --

Negociations can be used in a variety of ways from the life threatening, to mundane financial aspects. It implies a type of communication closely related to bargaining in which both parties intend to get the best possible deal.

My interest in advanced negociations is to make sure that my "side" gets the best possible result. Some examples include:

-- arranging for hostage transfer in a way that doesn't get your parties killed, mutilated or cursed fatally

-- how to get the evil wizard to do more talking and less torturing while you're figuring out a way to kill/behead/curse them

-- arranging for the best possible pre-nupt agreement for either yourself or any other friend

-- and most importantly, and the hardest to do: going to Gringotts bank and arranging for a loan at a reasonable rate of interest

Hands in legibly scrawled script on fine parchment with the assignment written down.

"That what you were looking for?"

Advanced negotiations is what you do after accidently taking a whiz on the ceremonial gnome-head of the natives.

I'm here because apparently the appropirate response isn't to blame it on the natives, even if that "her-war" crap goes right through ya.

*bursts in slightly late*

Ma'am, I believe in addition to this course I also signed up for Governments, but I'm afraid I can't fit that one in my schedule. I will be attending advanced negotiations, though.

Why? Well. My training back... home... aims at combined military leadership and ambassadorial duties. We're quite a militant nation, see. And that's not just the future they've set for me, it's also the one I'm intent on (~~good for them, or I wouldn't be cooperating at all.~~) I would hate to waste the time I'm forced to spend here, so I thought I might as well catch up with this negotiating business.

*sits down without pausing for breath, and starts scribbling furiously*

What do I think advanced negotiations are?

Where I come from, negotiating mostly consists of "We have the biggest guns, so do as we say." I'm fine with that, as long as the guys with the guns are on *my* side. When they're not, that's when one needs negotiating skills.

I've already been involved in some military action as part of my studies, and I've developed something of a working model:

Firstly, I try to confuse the enemy, and lull them into false sense of security with bad puns and trickery. Dressing like a clown also helps, so it's a good thing I like to do that anyway.

If that doesn't work and they still remain adamant, try threats. Proceed from mild insinuations to blatantly overblown scenarios of destruction.

If that doesn't work either, blast them with something and see if they give up.

If that doesn't work either, RUN. ~~And sneak into their camp at night and poison them all and burn it to the ground and dance on their smoking remains ahahahahahahaha.~~

Advanced negotiations are, in my opinion, are what happens when you're sick and tired of everyone completely underestimating you, and being terminally labelled "the nice girl," so no one listens to your proposals.

They're, for lack of a better term, a last resort.

Advanced negotiations are used when basic negotiations are not bringing about the desired results. They may involve shades of grey, because what is negotiation if not finding a middle ground? The very fact that one is negotiating means that there is no definite "good" or "bad", merely an acceptable place where benefit outweighs loss for both parties. Thus, any means can be used to assure that your side (whether "good" or "bad") gains more benefit from the arrangements.

With respect to

rory_gilmore, they are not the last resort. They are the resort of those determined to gain the advantage and reap its rewards.

Advanced negotiations means figuring out what your opponent wants/hates/fears and using that knowledge as leverage. You also have to be willing to do the unexpected - if you can throw him off-balance, it's often worth the payback.

Advanced Negotiations is used when you've got an enemy with such a big ego that words will just simply fly off his oversized, messy haired, scar covered head. When you are dealing with evil like that wands are the only thing that will be able to get your point across. Or perhaps fists. A few well placed Crucius spells will sort people in order. Of course that's in extreme cases. I myself prefer the psychological approach. Get them so mad that they'll throw the first punch---and then you can Crucio them.

By the way, you are looking very beautiful today Professor.

(OOC Sorry im late. i wnt for dinner and my friend gave me pizza, and then cooerced me into having rum? 51? something. im very sorry)
I picked this class because I'm no diplomat, so when diplomacy fails, what am I supposed to do then?

Advanced Negotiations are beating the snot out of demons and vampires after 'Hey dude, don't eat people' doesn't work. So then you have to stake or stab them. Which is never a good. So you should learn to talk, and say 'hey, eating people isn't fun. it's unhealthy, look how fat that one is. totally artery clogging'. And that;s advanced negotiations.

(OOC- sorry, again, fordrunken ramblings. ill post a better one tomorrow, i promise. but just so you know i tried.)

Advanced Negotiations to me is when the talks (I'm assuming there have been talks before I was brought in) aren't working and you need to resort to more drastic measures. This is when they usually ask me to shoot things.

I'm in here ~~because the textbook's were big and comfortable~~ because I have this feeling, this hunch, that negotations might come in handy in the future.

Dude, maybe I'm gonna be a police negotiator! How cool would that be?

Advanced negotiations are about getting into a discussion where each side is presented and debated, with intelligent arguments, and no one throwing around childish insults or comments that don't do anything to further the discussion at hand.

Miss Amidala? I'm afraid that I'm going to have to drop this class as there is a scheduling conflict with something I really need to take.

I don't suppose you offer chances at Independent Study or auditting? I am interested in you and your classes...I just can't promise to be in class each time it meets.

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