fandomhigh | Debating, Friday October 26

Chuck walked into the classroom, looking a little chipper. He set down his briefcase and looked at the students.

“Now, I imagine some of you are wondering why we didn’t have class last week. Well, there’s a very good reason, and I know you’ll agree with me when I tell you.” He raised his hand, ready to accentuate whatever he said with hand motions.

But Chuck put the hand down, and concluded: “I didn’t feel like teaching.” He went to the board. “That leads us to our topic of the day. Excuses, or “Covering your ass.”

Even the most skilled debater can sometimes slip up. In true battles, there are always casualties. This means that your pride will sometimes take severe blows. But just like in real war, you get everyone back if you win, so it won’t matter in the end at all.”

Today’s practical lesson will be practice for excuses. Fight with the techniques you’ve been using so far, and besmirch the name of your opponent. When something hits you hard, then cover your ass with a quick excuse. Make it creative, make it strong, make it work. Go!”

[OOC: Class ~~will be up asap!~~ is ready!]

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Jeff flailed in a very determined kind of way. "You don't know the CIA!"

"The only way you could be sure about that is if you were a spy who knew who around here has CIA contacts," Jim pointed out.

"I AM NOT A SPY!" Oh, flail city. "I have never spied on anyone! I am a spy-free zone!"

"Spies are trained to resist interrogation just like this," Jim said. "That proves it."

"I AM NOT RESISTING INTERROGATION! I'm not!"

No, he really wasn't. That was a bit of a whimper at the end, though.

"There there," Jim said, reaching out to pat Jeff on the shoulder consolingly. "It'll be okay. And I promise I won't tell anyone about the inverted eyes."

He had absolutely no clue what inverted eyes were.

"Thanks," Jeff nodded, in a vaguely depressed, shoulders-sagging kind of way.

Jim felt kind of bad about breaking Jeff this hard. "This debate would have been better with a dog getting saved in it."

"Puppies in cars make everything better," Jeff just replied, sounding close to having an actual breakdown.

There might be a hint of Turtle issues still around, there.

"Yikes," Jim said. "Are you okay?"

Jeff was starting to feel little pinpricks in his face. Like blushing.

His head shot up. "No, no, everything's fine! Why wouldn't everything be fine? There's absolutely not wrong at all!"

And then he laughed. With a slight head turn.

"Are you sure?" Jim asked, not believing the turnaround for a moment. "I know we don't really know each other, but if you want to talk about anything, I'm a pretty good listener."

"I'm fine," Jeff nodded repeatedly, "Entirely fine. Except for the women. Totally fine."

"Ah. Girl troubles?" Jim asked, lowering his voice a little. The girl Jeff was presumably having troubles with was in the class, after all. "What's going on?"

"I'm useless at apologising to her about being useless so she's cross 'cos I'm not useless," Jeff explained. "Chad said it was just that time."

Well, 'explained' was a big word.

Jim's eyes went wide at that last bit. "Don't mention that last part to her. It won't end well," he said. That gave him time to try to figure out the rest of what Jeff said. "Just keep the apology simple. Just say 'I'm sorry.'"

"I tried that," Jeff said, sagging more because his explanation had just gone out the window, "She just gets more disappointed. It's funny how women do that, it's like the opposite of nice."

Jim somehow had trouble believing that Jeff managed to keep it simple. "Have you tried a present? You know, let that say what you can't say yourself?"

"I should try that," Jeff said, thinking now. "I should definitely try that! Turtle loves having things."

Any things. Especially money.

"I think it might work," Jim said. "Just remember, try to keep it simple. Flowers, candy, gift certificates..." He hoped Jeff realized that last part was a joke.

He also hoped that Jeff didn't. Because that would be funny.

"Thanks!" Jeff said, giving Jim both thumbs up.

Whether or not he was going to take the gift certificate thing seriously was really in the middle.

"Anytime. Good luck," Jim said. He'd probably need it.

Debating, Friday October 26

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