fandomhigh | Love Smart: Period 2, Week 5

Lies. The foundation of every good friendship or romantic relationship. Lies are the little things like whether you're a natural blonde or not, how many people you've slept with, or whether she looks fat in that dress. We all tell lies, don't even try to tell me you've never told a lie. Actually, do and I'll give you detention. Oh yeah!" He really would.

"Today I want you to tell lies. Simple lies. We're not trying to win an Oscar, just get through life with less stress. What's a normal, simple lie? Your name? Toothpaste choice? Career aspirations? Whether or not you cheated last weekend? Whether you think it should count as cheating. Something lame like that. GO!" Barney loved listening to the radio. Really.

Zack and Karal might be surprised if they noticed Barney didn't seem to be avoiding their gaze. It was as if the entire weekend hadn't happened for him. Of course it had, he was just very good at lying to himself. Such things happen when you're completely awesome and Bob Barker is your dad.

At the end of the period, Barney called for attention again. "Tonight is Homecoming. I'm sure all you attached kids will be fighting over corsages, spiked punch, and whose date is hotter. Remember men, just because you arrived with her, doesn't mean you have to leave with her. Ladies, remember this is not your mother's Homecoming - SLUT UP! Enjoy yourselves, and have a LEGENDARY HOMECOMING. Heh, coming."

[ooc: Time to play! Which means you need to entertain me, omg!]

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"No," Andrew said. "I'm pretty sure I have. I'm the one who made that prophecy. I'm famous for connection with the mystical forces."

Ooh, Andrew caught her with a good one. "I knew that. I'm really the one who invited you to judge at the dance contest. It's part of my grand scheme."

Andrew narrowed his eyes. "Grand scheme, huh? We'll see about that after I've consulted the cards."

"It's too late for that, I've already started. Your cards won't be able to stop me." Beauty bit back a giggle at Andrew's expression and tried to look haughty and imposing. "I'm not really a dancer, you know. That's just to hide my secret identity."

Andrew tried to look smug. "I've known about your secret identity for a while now," he stated, nonchalantly examining his fingernails. "Why do you think I agreed to take the role of commentator at the competition?"

"Of course. I knew that you knew, which is why I had you invited. So that I could flush you out into the open." Damn, Andrew was kind of a lot better at this than she was. "But the secret identity that you know about is really all a ruse."

"Ha!" Andrew laughed, totally settling into his role now. "I knew that you knew that I knew," he said. "I've had you monitored your entire life! In fact, there are cameras recording your every move right now. They are there! And there! And there!"

Andrew pointed to three random spots around the room.

Beauty had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing. "But I knew that you would! Which is why I've spent my entire life pretending to be someone else, in order to foil your plan to watch me."

Leaning forward, she spoke as if revealing a great and mysterious secret. "My name isn't even really Beauty."

Okay, that part was true. But it fit so nicely.

Andrew covered his mouth in shock (and to hide the face that he couldn't stop grinning). "If that's true then, then... My god. My whole life has been for naught. I'm done for, defeated."

"But if you join my side, then you can still do good!" Beauty exclaimed. "Or...bad, I guess. It's your point of view, really."

"Good? You're side? Ha!" Andrew tried to look affronted. "I know all about what those on your side do, and I refuse to join in that."

"But you don't know!" Beauty protested. "Because I only joined so that I could steal all of their secrets!"

"That would make us allies!" Andrew exclaimed.

"You're right! And I knew from the moment I met you that we would be." Beauty grinned.

"Well then," Andrew said, "we should blow this whole dance competition off and just go to Vegas."

"I'm not really a champion dancer anyway," Beauty agreed. "But where's Vegas?"

"It's out west," Andrew replied. "It's a big gambling city, but they have lots of fun shows and the food is generally cheap."

"That sounds interesting," Beauty mused, obviously not really grasping the concept of 'Vegas'. "But out west you said, so probably pretty far away from here. Have you ever been?"

Andrew was suddenly confused. Were they still doing the assignment or not? "Um, oh yeah," he said. "I was raised by wolves just outside the city."

Beauty had actually forgotten all about the assignment, her curiousity piqued by Andrew's explanation of Vegas.

"Oh! Um...wolves, that's...such a coincidence. I used to live with, um...birds. Songbirds. Big ones."

Andrew couldn't handle it anymore. He broke down laughing, gasped for air, and laughed some more.

Yeah, that had been probably the worst attempt at a lie ever. Beauty covered her face with her hands and started laughing as well, not at all helped by the fact that Andrew was laughing so hard.

"You win," she admitted, her voice a little choked and muffled.

Love Smart: Period 2, Week 5

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