fandomhigh | Love Smart: Period 2, Week 5

Lies. The foundation of every good friendship or romantic relationship. Lies are the little things like whether you're a natural blonde or not, how many people you've slept with, or whether she looks fat in that dress. We all tell lies, don't even try to tell me you've never told a lie. Actually, do and I'll give you detention. Oh yeah!" He really would.

"Today I want you to tell lies. Simple lies. We're not trying to win an Oscar, just get through life with less stress. What's a normal, simple lie? Your name? Toothpaste choice? Career aspirations? Whether or not you cheated last weekend? Whether you think it should count as cheating. Something lame like that. GO!" Barney loved listening to the radio. Really.

Zack and Karal might be surprised if they noticed Barney didn't seem to be avoiding their gaze. It was as if the entire weekend hadn't happened for him. Of course it had, he was just very good at lying to himself. Such things happen when you're completely awesome and Bob Barker is your dad.

At the end of the period, Barney called for attention again. "Tonight is Homecoming. I'm sure all you attached kids will be fighting over corsages, spiked punch, and whose date is hotter. Remember men, just because you arrived with her, doesn't mean you have to leave with her. Ladies, remember this is not your mother's Homecoming - SLUT UP! Enjoy yourselves, and have a LEGENDARY HOMECOMING. Heh, coming."

[ooc: Time to play! Which means you need to entertain me, omg!]

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Barney will be at Homecoming, chaperoning the night away. Which means he's planning on hitting on alumni and anyone who moves his way.

Right now, he's mentally cataloging his suits, deciding which will be most appropriate for the dance later.

Karal had a compact disc and as close as he was ever likely to get to a wicked grin.

Okay, it was more like a mischievous smile, but at least he was trying.

"I have my assignment for you, as I promised I would," he said as he offered the compact disc (http://vkandis-son.livejournal.com/31955.html) to Barney. It even had a piece of paper with the song names listed on it.

"Excellent follow-through, Al," Barney said, accepting the disc. He looked over the selections. "Wow. Interesting choice of music," he hated it. "At some point you'll learn the theory of ALL RISE ALL THE TIME." Which he'd failed to mention in class last week.

"I selected music which resembled that from my homeland." Karal was puzzled, because he had no idea what that was, though. "Is that something we will be learning in class?" he asked, then after a short pause, added, pointedly, "Betty."

Yes, he'd found a nickname for Professor Stinson at last,

"...Betty?"

He nodded, really hoping he wasn't about to get detention again. "Yes, because you call me Al. A man named Paul Simon made a song about it," he added helpfully. "I can call you Betty," he recited, "and Betty if you call me, you can call me Al."

Barney laughed. And stopped. And then he laughed some more. "Oh, Al! You are one strange boy. You are aware that crushes on faculty members can't go anywhere. I mean, I'm not into dudes, but even if I were, Aly says it's just not done here. You understand."

It actually took him a moment to understand, and then he went bright, flaming red from toes to ears. He blushed like he had never blushed before. And flailed. And stammered. And finally managed to say, "Sunlord, no! No no no! That's, I'm not, no!"

"It's okay, Al," Barney said, reaching out to pat him on the shoulder but thinking better of it and drawing his hand back to himself like he'd been bit. "I won't tell. My brother's gay, you know."

Karal actually cringed back from his hand. "I am not Shaych! I was not attempting to--" Words pretty much failed him here and his shoulder slumped. He was now blushing so hard he could possibly be used as a source of energy.

"Don't worry, Al," Barney was very understanding. "You go chat with that feisty girl of yours." It was so sad when he had to tell someone they couldn't keep a piece of the Barnacle.

"May I be excused?" he asked in a very small voice, already backing away. This had not been a good idea. At all. "Please?"

Barney laughed, "Sure, Al." He went back to whatever random thing he'd been doing before. James was going to love hearing about his gay student.

Love Smart: Period 2, Week 5

The Barnacle [10/5]

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