fandomhigh | School Assembly, Friday Afternoon

Entry tags:

!event: assembly

School Assembly, Friday Afternoon

Harriet was beaming as she walked out on stage. "Good afternoon. I'm Harriet Jones, Dean of Students."

Before she could continue, there was a heckling from the back of the auditorium, sounding not unlike a certain flame haired god of the dead. "Yes, we know who you are!"

Harriet fixed the back of the room with a look. "If I could continue, please?" There was silence. "Thank you. Now, there's been a recurring problem with gremlins at this school, so in the interests of educating you about this potential danger, we've arranged for some people to speak here this afternoon. I urge you to give them your attention, and don't be afraid to ask question. After they finish, of course."

[ooc: You have ~~must~~ waited for the OCD! Instructions (cause I was tired when I OCD'd and it kinda got away from me...): Speaker, please ping into the space for your talk, then ping into the ask questions thread when you're ready to answer questions. Students who are speaking, just ping in with your talk, and people can ask questions off that ping. Hades modded with permission!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wait for them to ping in, then listen (or sleep or whatever).

"Hi. I'm Doctor Ira Kane, and I'm apparently going to be talking to you about gremlins." He shuffled through his notes. "Huh. Could have sworn I saw a movie about them once. Anyway, gremlins. As far as I can tell, they're unique to this island, which isn't unusual. Island habitats often give rise to new varieties of flora and fauna due to the isolation factor, though not usually entirely new species, which these seem to be. They wouldn't have crawled out of a meteor by any chance? No? Just a thought.

You don't want to go near these critters. Their venom has seriously hallucinogenic properties. I can't tell for sure without getting my hands on one - and if you think you can hook me up, let's talk after the assembly - but anecdotal evidence suggests it's not dissimilar to LSD, with the added bonus of making you think you're something else entirely. I understand pretty princesses and tiger tamers aren't unusual."

Dr Kane leaned an elbow on the podium and went on for awhile about potential zoological taxonomy for gremlins, possible evolutionary matrices, and even drifted into his best guess at the chemical makeup of their venom, then grinned.

"And I'm probably boring you stupid. Most important thing - what to do if you have to deal with one, or several. Avoid them is the best thing. They seem to prefer dark, enclosed spaces, like air vents and under stairs, so you need to be aware of your surroundings. Carry a flashlight, creatures that prefer the dark can often be disorientated by a sudden bright light. If you can't avoid them, well, shotguns are probably overkill, but a baseball bat can work wonders. Conventional poisons might not work, so don't count on them, but wouldn't hurt to experiment with them.

Stay away from fire as a weapon unless you're absolutely sure it's not going to make things worse, and I don't care how bad it gets, you want to keep the military out of it. Trust me; I used to work for those guys. I know what I'm talking about."

Listen and react!

Annette listened intently thinking Dr. Kane was a very intelligent and insightful man. It helped that he was nice to look at too.

Hoshi was taking extensive notes.

Eh, nothing Billy hadn't already known. Cept for the sciency stuff which didn't interest him.

If you want...

"Traditionally this would be the point where you guys ask me questions, so feel free."

"If one were to protect oneself from gremlins with some kind of armor, would you suggest constructing the armor out of metal (more likely to chip gremlin teeth, but possibly exposing joints to attack), plastic or fiberglass (less likely to do damage to the gremlins, but providing the most flexibility), or foam (like you would use to ward off dog attacks)?"

Re: Dr Kane - ask him questions!

idontlooktired.livejournal.com - 2007-09-28 23:25 (UTC) - Expand

Rikku looked at him oddly. "Uh, wouldn't a bat or a shotgun kill them? Gremlin bites just make people crazy for a little bit. Doesn't that seem like a bit ... much? To hurt them just so you don't act funny?"

Re: Dr Kane - ask him questions!

idontlooktired.livejournal.com - 2007-09-29 00:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Dr Kane - ask him questions!

the_merriest - 2007-09-29 01:27 (UTC) - Expand

(She totally counts as a guest, shut up)

"My name is Hermione Granger, and I've never been bitten by a gremlin. However, I don't think that makes me any less qualified to speak for them, because in nearly a year and a half, I've had no problem at all avoiding a bite," Hermione began. "I'm sure the gremlins don't mean any harm. They're simply doing what gremlins do. I'm sure that we're actually on their territory and they're just reacting to our presence as best they can. It isn't as if they mean to make you hallucinate. Biting is probably the gremlin's only natural defense, and one that's worked for them for however long they've been here. Not to mention that with some of the anti-gremlin sentiment I've seen, they might know our general reactions enough to think they have to defend themselves. Especially when we're hinting at experimentation. Honestly!

"We aren't going to get rid of the gremlins, and we shouldn't. This is as much their home as it is ours- moreso, even. I'm sure if we made the effort to live comfortably with them, the problem will resolve itself."

Listen and react!

Excellent! Annette was all for the rights of animals. Or creatures. Or certain creatures who really meant no harm at all and only bit you in some sort of effort at self-defense. Hermione made great sense and Annette enjoyed her speech very much.

Peter liked Hermione, he really did. She was a smart girl who meant well.

But he nearly sold his soul - literally - while under the influence of a gremlin bite this week, so he wasn't exactly seeing things her way.

You know she'll have an answer.

And after giving the speech and figuring a couple people might not so much agree with her, she wondered if this was a good idea. "So if there are any questions..."

Re: Hermione Granger - ask her questions!

isourking.livejournal.com - 2007-09-28 14:35 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Hermione Granger - ask her questions!

smartestone - 2007-09-29 00:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Hermione Granger - ask her questions!

the_merriest - 2007-09-28 23:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Hermione Granger - ask her questions!

smartestone - 2007-09-29 00:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Hermione Granger - ask her questions!

the_merriest - 2007-09-29 01:28 (UTC) - Expand

Wait and see who it is!

No hints, you'll have to wait and see...

A familiar figure... well maybe to a couple of students, stood up from his chair dressed in an all black suit.

Well what else did you expect him to wear?

"Hi. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Martin Blank. Fandom High Survivor, Class of 2007. I came back to school today to discuss with you a topic that concerns me greatly. Gremlins. I was by no means the first person to get bitten by a gremlin but my first time was definitely memorable. Lights please."

The lights went down in the auditorium as Marty clicked a remote and a monitor began to show footage of him dressed in fatigues and thinking he was a certain principal (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhigh/125897.html). "This was my first experience. For a couple of hours I made a giant fool of myself and entertained the entire school. Next time I was bitten ~~Really. I swear~~ was Parents weekend."

Marty clicked the remote again showing footage of himself and insane and at one point hugging a certain ethics teacher (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhighdorms/223279.html?thread=8129839#t8129839).

"For the record? I have no idea whether snickerdoodles are really made from people. And despite what other people might think? I never said that Obi-wan looked like Kenny Loggins. Moving on to December..."

Marty clicked the remote again and another series of footage started up.

"As you can see here (http://oatmanspatient.livejournal.com/26957.html?thread=507725#t507725), I thought (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhighdorms/334780.html?thread=12273852#t12273852) I was an (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhighdorms/335353.html) elf (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhighdorms/336351.html). Don't ask me how I found those shoes with the curly toes."

"Now by this point enough people in our school had been bitten that we tried to start a support group for those who had been bitten. Unfortunately... Well. I'll just let the footage speak for itself."

Marty clicked the remote and... Well I'm sure everyone can appreciate the freaking (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomtownies/524475.html) train (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhighdorms/384360.html) wreck (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhighdorms/385496.html)

"Now as you can see from these experiences, no one was truly harmed but I urge you all to think of what could happen if Gremlins bit the wrong person? What if it wasn't merely an embarrassing situation that happened and someone got hurt? While I've made my peace with these pests, I strongly suggest that the school take an active stance against these creatures. Find them a new home instead of the vents in school. Maybe in New Jersey. They'd feel at home there. Anyhow that's all I've got for the presentation. Thanks for having me back."

Sit at his feet and listen in awe. Or you could just stay in your chairs.

Either way is good.

Oooh Marty! Annette missed Spy Tech!

Yes, this was about gremlins and great stories, really. Or not, depending how you looked at it. But Spy Tech! Woooo!

This sounded reasonable to Peter. Send them to Jersey!

Not his Jersey.

They'd probably join forces with that one Fantastic Four guy... Mole. Guy. Whatever his name was. And then Peter would have to fight them. And then he would think he was a fluffy bunny, hopping through a forest. And then? BOP! Right on the head.

Peter was acutely aware of how his life tended to go.

I'm sure he won't mind...

Marty gave the group a grin. "Any questions?"

Guest speakers

Doctor Ira Kane

Re: Doctor Ira Kane

Dr Kane - during the talk

Re: Dr Kane - during the talk

Re: Dr Kane - during the talk

Re: Dr Kane - during the talk

Dr Kane - ask him questions!

Re: Dr Kane - ask him questions!

Re: Dr Kane - ask him questions!

Re: Dr Kane - ask him questions!

Hermione Granger

Re: Hermione Granger

Hermione Granger - during the talk

Re: Hermione Granger - during the talk

Re: Hermione Granger - during the talk

Hermione Granger - ask her questions!

Re: Hermione Granger - ask her questions!

Special Guest!!

Re: Special Guest!!

Special guest - during the talk

Re: Special guest - during the talk

Re: Special guest - during the talk

Special guest - ask him questions!

Re: Special guest - ask him questions!