fandomhigh | Love Smart: Period 2, Week 3

Barney was suited up and leaning against the board while he waited for students to arrive, as one does. When he felt he had enough in the classroom to merit speaking, he began the lecture.

"The syllabus says today's topic is Courtship. And by courtship I mean getting into her pants. You know, every once in a while I like to send an e-vite to the party in my pants to all the lovely ladies...Where was I? Right! Courtship!"

"Let's take my best friend Ted for example. Ted met this chick, we'll call her Robina to protect the innocent, and proceeded to try to get in her pants via dinner and a misplaced 'I love you.' Of course, Ted failed because he made the mistake of actually thinking he was in love with Robina."

"The point is that you must pretend you care, don't actually get...what is that word? Oh right, emotionally involved." he did a little eye roll, hand wavey thing. "You're trying to start something up with a little sans pants action, not marry her as your virginal self. Learn from Ted's mistake."

"What does this mean for class? Not much since half of you are with" *eye roll* "'The One.' So instead of expanding on this topic, I want to hear things you can say or do to make your significant other think you care about them. Remember, we're pretending to care here, not actually caring."

"Also, please don't believe your email when it links you to some Dangerous Kissing Tips. They are lies, kids. All lies."

[ooc: OMG, that last bit was totally in my gmail last night and cracked me up when I clicked on it.]

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Barney pretends to care about this class. How do you fake caring about a significant other? What do you say? What do you do?

Karal's arms were crossed and he looked about as stubborn as he could possibly get. "Pretending to care for someone when you do not is a lie, and a cruel one. It is wrong."

"I'm disappointed, Al," Barney shook his head. What was up with these kids?

Karal crossed his arms tighter and looked, as far as he was able, mulish. "As am I, Professor Stinson," he said quietly.

Zack was pretending to care about Barney.

He wasn't very good at it.

Barney kinda wished he could give Zack detention every week. Just a little bitter about last semester. Just a little.

"I don't know how anyone can pretend to care about anyone else. Either you care or you don't. Why lie about it?"

Yeah. She probably wasn't an expert here but she was thinking Barney wasn't either.

"What do you mean why?" Barney said. "Have you ever played pretend before?"

"Yeah why... and like when I was five or something." Annette said.

"How can someone even be a 'significant other' if you don't care about them?" Beauty asserted. "Why even bother to pretend, if there isn't anyone you care about, what good is it to make people think there is?"

"The point is, what would you say or do to pretend?" Barney reminded her, rolling his eyes. He really needed to start drinking before this class. Or maybe during...

"But I wouldn't pretend," Beauty protested. "I can't even imagine what I'd achieve by pretending to care about someone."

It was likely that she was kind of missing the point of what Barney was trying to teach his class.

"You can't fake caring about a significant other," Dawn argued. "If they're significant to you, you care about them. End of story."

"Hmm," yes there was a definite need for alcohol. "The point is what would you do, not would you do it." He was being confusing on purpose. Maybe.

"I don't have any idea. I kinda suck at showing that I care about the significant other I've got, let alone making someone else believe it when I don't want them too." She considered. "Kill something that's attacking them?"

Re: Pretending to Care [9/21]

suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com - 2007-09-21 21:52 (UTC) - Expand

Hoshi was really, really trying to come up with a way to pretend to care about someone. "I guess you could buy them little gifts that make it look like you care?"

"Excellent, TA-Girl," Barney smiled. This was why he had a TA. "People love gifts. I also recommend pretending to be interested in what they have to say."

Hoshi nodded, pretending to be listening to Barney.

"I wouldn't," Peter said, looking disgusted. "It would be dishonourable and distasteful even were it a proper thing to do."

"I don't care if you would or not," Barney reminded Not-Lily's boyfriend the fake knight. "I just want to know something that would make someone think you cared?"

"But there's no point in even discussing it," Peter told him. "For it's out of the question."

"If you want to pretend to care about someone, first you have to act like you are interested in what the other person has to say. Showing interest in what they are care about is probably helpful, too," Summer said. Not that she knew this from experience or anything. Really.

"Right! ACT! Do things that make them think you're paying attention and interested while actually not being these things," Barney was maybe a little excited by her answer. "Great work...Barbi!" He remembered she had a stripper name, just not which one.

absolutesnark - 2007-09-21 22:02 (UTC) - Expand

"I think if you're pretending to care for someone, it means you really care, and you're just too scared to admit it," Sam said.

"You tell them they're pretty, give them gifts, promise to call them... You know, the usual stuff," Jim said.

He was listing things that he would do to actually SHOW caring, of course. He was pretending to be talking about pretending.