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fandomhigh2007-09-21 06:25 am
whatever-sucks.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2007-09-21 06:25 am
Entry tags:
Interdisciplinary Studies, Class 3, Friday, Period 1
Squall wasn't alone in front of the classroom today. There was an annoying jingly green glowing bug zipping around, this way and that, gesturing rather emphatically. There was also a long clothes rack on wheels, filled with all kinds of outfits, taking up a good portion of one wall. Squall had, in fact, dragged the stupid thing all the way up to the school from downtown, and he wasn't terribly happy about it.
"All right, class," Squall said, tossing the sign-in clipboard at a random student. "This class is all about what you NEED to know and DON'T, so today we're going to learn about something absolutely vital: how to dress yourselves in the morning. Because most of you don't seem to be able to without your mothers around." It was hard to tell with the bangs in his face, but he seemed to be glaring pointedly at Rikku. "Not well, anyway."
It was at this point that the jingly green bug swooped in front of Squall and stomped her foot. She gestured several times. Wasn't he even going to introduce her? What a ripoff! And she let him take all of those pretty clothes from her store!
Squall sighed at her. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce Tink. In addition to stealing liquor, she also sells clothes or something, so she's good at the whole 'fashion' thing."
Tink pirouetted happily. She was! She was very good at fashion. She was also beautiful, kind, gorgeous, giving, and she was staying with Squall out of the goodness of her heart. And 'Tink' wasn't her full name, either, but she could be generous and let that slide. See how generous she was? And he needed to buy more tequila. They were out.
"Really? Out of tequila? AGAIN?" Squall glared at his roomie. Then he looked out at the class. "Extra credit for anyone who brings me liquor."
Then he shrugged.
"Okay, so. Class. Right. Point one: You can't just throw on whatever you feel like. If you look like you've slept in your clothes, you're doing it wrong." Squall HAD, in fact, slept in the clothes he was wearing. It's not that he couldn't see the hypocrisy in that, he just didn't care.
Tink dug the wand from her cleavage and began writing in mid air. Point 2: Colors matter. She then gestured to convey the rest of her point: colors were good, colors weren't something to be avoided - and she gave her roommate a pointed look for that - but colors had to work together. Find a color wheel. Love it. Understand it. Stop throwing things together that were never, ever intended to be in the same room.
"Right", Squall said. "Or you could just stick with black. Black goes with everything. Actually... point three is: tight, black, leather. If you've got at least one of the three, you're on the right track."
Tink rolled her eyes, but he had a point. Tight, black and leather were always good in her book. More writing: Point 4: Know your body. She tucked the wand away for more gesturing. If you were tall, wear things that played that well. If you were short - and there was a death glare here implying that anyone making short jokes about her would die painfully - wearing things for very tall people would only make you look stumpier. If you had an enormous rack, you could dress in ways to show it off, or dress in ways to minimize it, but dressing as though you had tiny boobs was just going to look bad. Not everybody can wear everything. Not even someone as gorgeous as herself.
"Uh, huh. Yes, we've all seen your boobs by now." It was Squall's turn to roll his eyes. "But that leads up to point five: You can get away with more if you're hot. So make sure you clean yourself up. You know, shower every once in a while. Brush your hair. Stand up straight. Uh. Smile, or whatever." Squall shrugged. He'd showered yesterday and run his fingers through his hair this morning. That was good enough for him, but most of these kids needed work.
Yes. Smile, says the crazy grumpy guy. Tink stuck her tongue out at her roommate before pulling the wand out again. Point 6: Attitude. Rules can be broken if you know how to do it properly. Looking like you've slept in your clothes can work, but only if you carry yourself in a way that suggests this is the latest trend, and all of you plebians don't know the least thing about fashion. In fact, just about anything can be chic if you have the presence to carry it off properly.
Squall nodded thoughtfully. He still couldn't understand most of what Tink tried to say, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let the class know that. "Yeah, what she said." He shrugged. "Okay, so break into groups and discuss. What does fashion mean to you, or whatever, how badly are you dressed today, that sort of thing."
Tink waved a little and indicated that they should feel free to use her fabulous, fabulous outfit as a starting point for discussion. Wasn't she chic? So very, very stylish?
After the discussion, Squall thwapped a yardstick on his desk to get everyone's attention. "Okay, everyone. We're not even going to discuss what you're wearing right now, because it's wrong." Tink made a gagging face and pretended to choke herself. Very, very wrong. "I want all of you to come pick something off the rack and change into it, and then come up to the front of the class and show it off, one by one. Let's see if you've learned anything."
"Your homework for next week is to wear something that doesn't suck. Class dismissed."
[Wait for ocd or the fairy gets it! Clap your hands if you believe in tequila-stealing roomies!]
"All right, class," Squall said, tossing the sign-in clipboard at a random student. "This class is all about what you NEED to know and DON'T, so today we're going to learn about something absolutely vital: how to dress yourselves in the morning. Because most of you don't seem to be able to without your mothers around." It was hard to tell with the bangs in his face, but he seemed to be glaring pointedly at Rikku. "Not well, anyway."
It was at this point that the jingly green bug swooped in front of Squall and stomped her foot. She gestured several times. Wasn't he even going to introduce her? What a ripoff! And she let him take all of those pretty clothes from her store!
Squall sighed at her. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce Tink. In addition to stealing liquor, she also sells clothes or something, so she's good at the whole 'fashion' thing."
Tink pirouetted happily. She was! She was very good at fashion. She was also beautiful, kind, gorgeous, giving, and she was staying with Squall out of the goodness of her heart. And 'Tink' wasn't her full name, either, but she could be generous and let that slide. See how generous she was? And he needed to buy more tequila. They were out.
"Really? Out of tequila? AGAIN?" Squall glared at his roomie. Then he looked out at the class. "Extra credit for anyone who brings me liquor."
Then he shrugged.
"Okay, so. Class. Right. Point one: You can't just throw on whatever you feel like. If you look like you've slept in your clothes, you're doing it wrong." Squall HAD, in fact, slept in the clothes he was wearing. It's not that he couldn't see the hypocrisy in that, he just didn't care.
Tink dug the wand from her cleavage and began writing in mid air. Point 2: Colors matter. She then gestured to convey the rest of her point: colors were good, colors weren't something to be avoided - and she gave her roommate a pointed look for that - but colors had to work together. Find a color wheel. Love it. Understand it. Stop throwing things together that were never, ever intended to be in the same room.
"Right", Squall said. "Or you could just stick with black. Black goes with everything. Actually... point three is: tight, black, leather. If you've got at least one of the three, you're on the right track."
Tink rolled her eyes, but he had a point. Tight, black and leather were always good in her book. More writing: Point 4: Know your body. She tucked the wand away for more gesturing. If you were tall, wear things that played that well. If you were short - and there was a death glare here implying that anyone making short jokes about her would die painfully - wearing things for very tall people would only make you look stumpier. If you had an enormous rack, you could dress in ways to show it off, or dress in ways to minimize it, but dressing as though you had tiny boobs was just going to look bad. Not everybody can wear everything. Not even someone as gorgeous as herself.
"Uh, huh. Yes, we've all seen your boobs by now." It was Squall's turn to roll his eyes. "But that leads up to point five: You can get away with more if you're hot. So make sure you clean yourself up. You know, shower every once in a while. Brush your hair. Stand up straight. Uh. Smile, or whatever." Squall shrugged. He'd showered yesterday and run his fingers through his hair this morning. That was good enough for him, but most of these kids needed work.
Yes. Smile, says the crazy grumpy guy. Tink stuck her tongue out at her roommate before pulling the wand out again. Point 6: Attitude. Rules can be broken if you know how to do it properly. Looking like you've slept in your clothes can work, but only if you carry yourself in a way that suggests this is the latest trend, and all of you plebians don't know the least thing about fashion. In fact, just about anything can be chic if you have the presence to carry it off properly.
Squall nodded thoughtfully. He still couldn't understand most of what Tink tried to say, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let the class know that. "Yeah, what she said." He shrugged. "Okay, so break into groups and discuss. What does fashion mean to you, or whatever, how badly are you dressed today, that sort of thing."
Tink waved a little and indicated that they should feel free to use her fabulous, fabulous outfit as a starting point for discussion. Wasn't she chic? So very, very stylish?
After the discussion, Squall thwapped a yardstick on his desk to get everyone's attention. "Okay, everyone. We're not even going to discuss what you're wearing right now, because it's wrong." Tink made a gagging face and pretended to choke herself. Very, very wrong. "I want all of you to come pick something off the rack and change into it, and then come up to the front of the class and show it off, one by one. Let's see if you've learned anything."
"Your homework for next week is to wear something that doesn't suck. Class dismissed."
[
Re: Discuss!
Stupid annoying pixie. Had she been this bad when she was one?!
Re: Discuss!
The other looked like a color-blind crazy person.
Let's see if the idiot girl could figure this one out.