Love Smart: Period 2, Week 2

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Barney leaned against the whiteboard while the students took their seats. “So. Relationships. Whatever. Today we’re going to focus on the getting part of the relationship for the benefit of those of you who need a hook-up or who wish to trade up,” he announced with a grin. Yeah, he listened to the radio. It was great entertainment.

“For those of you who missed my legendary summer workshop, How to Be Awesome, here is a list of pick up lines to try on your own time. I also have video of your classmates' greatest hits in my office should you need a visual reference. Keep in mind these pick up lines were designed with the hot and dirty in mind. Not the deeply emotional relationships you teens seem intent on having." That last bit might have been sarcastic and accompanied by wide, grossed-out eyes.

"Now that that bit of business is taken care of, let's discuss how and why we choose our significant others."

"Couples: Why did you select your partner as 'The One' for you? Was it for their looks? Because hell yeah, you want someone you can stand to stare at for days on end. Was it for their money? Because of... feelings?" He looked at them sadly, because really, they should be out there having meaningless sex. It was a tragedy.

Focusing in on those lucky enough to be without an SO, Barney addressed the class studs loners. "Singles: How and where do you find a mate? Any alternatives to finding 'The One'? Let's discuss!"

[ooc: Wait for OCD is up! The questions are open to all for reply and discussion! Go Swarley!]

Comments

Re: Choosing THE ONE

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"Well when looking for the one, I figured that the one had been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gave me a radius of six miles. Then I had every duplicate do a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. With Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles."

Re: Choosing THE ONE

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"So you'd treat this like a man-hunt, but for chicks?" Barney asked. "Where would you get these duplicates from?"

Re: Choosing THE ONE

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"Is there a better way?" Jamie asked. "I figured it was better than my previous method of falling into a coma. As for the duplicates...."

Jamie rapped on his desk like it was a snare drum until a dozen duplicates appeared.

All dancing and sing to Cuban Pete.

Re: Choosing THE ONE

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Barney stared at the duplicates. "Now that raises your odds of success! Though, might I recommend a better song?"

Re: Choosing THE ONE

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"There's a better song than Cuban Pete?" All the dupes asked in unison.

Re: Choosing THE ONE

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Barney stared a little, cuz, DUH! "You're going to get a great musical education from The Barnacle," he assured all the Jamies. "You Give Love a Bad Name, look it up."

Re: Choosing THE ONE

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"Bon Jovi?" All the Jamies said putting all their hands in unison. "Please. This isn't the 80's and the flock of seagulls hair cut never worked for us. Damn you Liefield!"

Re: Choosing THE ONE

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"You had flock of seagulls hair?" Barney was horrified!

Re: Choosing THE ONE

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"IT WAS VERY IN AT THE TIME!"

Re: Choosing THE ONE

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"BUT... FLOCK OF SEAGULLS HAIR!"

Re: Choosing THE ONE

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"What? You've never had a bad hairstyle?"

Re: Choosing THE ONE

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Barney wasn't fond of thinking of the time before he became Darth Vader completely awesome and suited up. "HA! Please, NO! Cuz, that would never...Oh look, another student needs me to tell them they're wrong!" He quickly wandered off.