fandomhigh | Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, August 14, 2nd period]

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Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, August 14, 2nd period]

Josh leaned up against a desk in the Danger Shop, hands in his pocket and a grin on his face.

"President Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House, had a big block of cheese and I can't believe I'm giving this speech," he began. "He did not, sadly, have a cracker the size of Lake Tahoe. I checked. My old boss, the White House Chief of Staff, used this folksy excuse to make us all talk to total crackpots once a year and today that privilege falls to you."

He waved his hands. "Pick a desk, make yourself comfortable, the computer'll drop someone insane off to talk to you. Try not to laugh in their faces--they're all based on real people. Um, sadly."

My Stupid Mouth - John Mayer

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"Sure! Have a seat, sir." Charlie got up and gestured to the seat across from her, then said, "I'm Charlie McGee. Which aliens are we talking about? Specifically?"

"The ones from outer space," the man replied, rolling his eyes. "The crazy immigration people are a few nutjobs back."

Beat.

"But I'm sane."

"I'm glad to hear that," Charlie said, sitting back down. She waited a moment, then checked, "You have paperwork for that too, right?"

"I don't need to show you paperwork!" the man said indignantly, glaring. "I have a PhD from Stanford!"

"Okay," Charlie said calmly. Although, she was willing to bet there were more crazy Ph.D's than there people who'd never been to college. "So, what is the problem with the aliens? Economic, social, political...?"

"The government's conspiracy to hide them from the public for the last sixty years!" The man glared harder. "Jesus. Aren't there any standards for working at the White House these days?"

Charlie blinked at him a little, and took a sip of her coffee, then said, "I'm pretty young to have heard about the sixty-year-old conspiracy, sir. They don't tell us this stuff on our first day, you know. But I'm totally willing to listen to you tell me about it. Although I think there might be a problem in revealing all to the public. They'd just say we were lying again."

The man rolled his eyes. "Of course I get the new kid. Why would I think the Barlet administration would even pretend to be listening to my valid concerns." He stood up, deeply offended. "You tell Leo McGarry not to expect any more checks coming from the astrophysics department of Stanford, MIT or Cal Tech. And God knows it's not like those guys had anything else to spend their money on. The next Space Battles game doesn't come out for months."

He spun on his heel to storm out.

"You're sure you don't want to stay and tell me about this?" Charlie asked, crestfallen. She'd been certain being calm and agreeable was the answer here. But maybe knowing about real aliens put her at a disadvantage, and she didn't seem to be taking him seriously. "Please won't you stay and tell me about them? So I can tell Mr. McGarry I tried to help?"

"You just want to make sure I don't get you fired your first day," the man accused.

"No! Wait, I mean, I don't want to be fired, of course," Charlie said, nodding hard. "But this really is interesting--" and if part of her wants to put it in a story, that's not wrong, is it? "--and since they didn't tell me about it, how else am I going to find out?"

The man stared at her. "My entire argument is getting you to acknowledge the presence of intelligence life from other planets. If you don't 'know' about it," he used air quotes to deadly effect, "I'm wasting my time."

He left the cubicle, muttering to himself about the quality of government workers today.

It wasn't complimentary.

Charlie sat down, discouraged, and muttered to herself, "Well, shoot."

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Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, August 14, 2nd period]

Re: Big Block of Cheese Day!

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Re: Big Block of Cheese Day!

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Re: Big Block of Cheese Day!

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Re: Big Block of Cheese Day!

Re: Big Block of Cheese Day!

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