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fandomhigh2007-08-13 08:52 am
bluth-illusions.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2007-08-13 08:52 am
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Sex Edder #6, Monday, Period 3
When the class had gathered, GOB smiled an evil smile. "I wanted to thank Gavin for covering for me last week. I'm sure he did a great job leading the discussion and, really, he served as an inspiration to me. If it weren't for the topic he chose last week, I wouldn't have had any reason to do today's lecture."
GOB uncovered the dry erase board. "Mr GOB's Wild Ride (a.k.a. The True Story of GOB's First Time)," he read.
"The first time I had sex was back in my freshman year of high school.There was this girl, Sherry Brooks. And this was before everyone started calling her 'Sure Thing Sherry,' so it's not like I didn't have to work for it. She was all, 'Oh, GOB, I can barely keep my hands off you but we can't do anything more than make out all the time.' She kept talking about how it was against her religion and how her family would shun her if she started to have sex. These are what are called 'lame excuses.' If she was really into God it would have taken more than a couple beers and an 'I love you,' right?"
"Anyway, one night after she missed out on making the cheerleading squad, she wanted to go out to blow off some steam. I ended up taking her to a movie, something where stuff blows up to help her deal with the disappointment of sucking too much to be a cheerleader. It was fun, she saw Bruce Willis shooting stuff without a shirt and she let me grab her boobs while Bruce Willis shot stuff, so everyone enjoyed the movie."
"After that, we went back to her place which was empty because her parents were cheating on each other or dead or something, I don't remember offhand, and she asked me if I wanted a drink. So I told her how beautiful she looked and asked her for a beer. Just for the record, after a girl is depressed because she missed out on something where it could be based on her looks, compliments will get you everywhere, including into her parents' alcohol."
"We were drinking and she was complaining about cheerleaders, and popularity, and about how her parents were dead or whatever, and I knew this was my chance. I said those three magic words... 'Let's do it.' She looked at me weird like I said something wrong, so I looked at her tenderly and said, 'Come on!' And then she told me that she wanted me to leave, so I went with the only thing I had left. Remember this one, guys. I told her, 'But I just want to show you how much I love you.'"
"Thirty minutes later, I had had sex. I dumped her a couple days later. She was getting the reputation for being kind of a slut --" It should be noted that the reputation got started because GOB was bragging to everyone and exaggerating wildly. "-- and you know, I really didn't think it was in my best interests to be associated with someone like that. It would have been a huge mistake. Good thing, too, because she started to get kind of chubby there after a couple months. I didn't want to be known as a chubby chaser."
"Anyway, instead of whatever it is that all of you came up with last week, that is the story of my first time. It was with a pretty girl, I didn't have to pay her, and she did it willingly without being too drunk and it was a lot of fun becuase, man, she was a slut. She really lived up to her nickname." A nickname that she didn't have until GOB named her that while bragging to his classmates.
"So this week, let's hear about your first times. And if you're a wuss who's uncomfortable with that, talk about the first time you did something else. Like the first time you punched somebody, or the first time you rode a bike."
[OOC: Certain elements and names from the story taken from canon. Most of the story is me making crap up but, hey, I can't be Jossed on it!
And, hey, I seem to be playing from work a little today. Not too much, but a little!]
GOB uncovered the dry erase board. "Mr GOB's Wild Ride (a.k.a. The True Story of GOB's First Time)," he read.
"The first time I had sex was back in my freshman year of high school.There was this girl, Sherry Brooks. And this was before everyone started calling her 'Sure Thing Sherry,' so it's not like I didn't have to work for it. She was all, 'Oh, GOB, I can barely keep my hands off you but we can't do anything more than make out all the time.' She kept talking about how it was against her religion and how her family would shun her if she started to have sex. These are what are called 'lame excuses.' If she was really into God it would have taken more than a couple beers and an 'I love you,' right?"
"Anyway, one night after she missed out on making the cheerleading squad, she wanted to go out to blow off some steam. I ended up taking her to a movie, something where stuff blows up to help her deal with the disappointment of sucking too much to be a cheerleader. It was fun, she saw Bruce Willis shooting stuff without a shirt and she let me grab her boobs while Bruce Willis shot stuff, so everyone enjoyed the movie."
"After that, we went back to her place which was empty because her parents were cheating on each other or dead or something, I don't remember offhand, and she asked me if I wanted a drink. So I told her how beautiful she looked and asked her for a beer. Just for the record, after a girl is depressed because she missed out on something where it could be based on her looks, compliments will get you everywhere, including into her parents' alcohol."
"We were drinking and she was complaining about cheerleaders, and popularity, and about how her parents were dead or whatever, and I knew this was my chance. I said those three magic words... 'Let's do it.' She looked at me weird like I said something wrong, so I looked at her tenderly and said, 'Come on!' And then she told me that she wanted me to leave, so I went with the only thing I had left. Remember this one, guys. I told her, 'But I just want to show you how much I love you.'"
"Thirty minutes later, I had had sex. I dumped her a couple days later. She was getting the reputation for being kind of a slut --" It should be noted that the reputation got started because GOB was bragging to everyone and exaggerating wildly. "-- and you know, I really didn't think it was in my best interests to be associated with someone like that. It would have been a huge mistake. Good thing, too, because she started to get kind of chubby there after a couple months. I didn't want to be known as a chubby chaser."
"Anyway, instead of whatever it is that all of you came up with last week, that is the story of my first time. It was with a pretty girl, I didn't have to pay her, and she did it willingly without being too drunk and it was a lot of fun becuase, man, she was a slut. She really lived up to her nickname." A nickname that she didn't have until GOB named her that while bragging to his classmates.
"So this week, let's hear about your first times. And if you're a wuss who's uncomfortable with that, talk about the first time you did something else. Like the first time you punched somebody, or the first time you rode a bike."
[OOC: Certain elements and names from the story taken from canon. Most of the story is me making crap up but, hey, I can't be Jossed on it!
And, hey, I seem to be playing from work a little today. Not too much, but a little!]
Re: During the Lecture [WS6]