fandomhigh | Dealing with the Opposite Sex, Friday, Period 2, Class #3

Current Mood: amused

Entry tags:

opposite sex

Dealing with the Opposite Sex, Friday, Period 2, Class #3

"Today, we learn about flirting," Vala told the class as they entered, bouncing a little. "It's a surprisingly useful skill, and valuable in both professional and personal contexts. The problem is how to get good at it--it's innate for some," she smirked over at Jack, "but others of you will have to work at it."

"Unfortunately, the only way to get good at flirting is to practice--so that's what I want you to do today, with as many people from the class as possible. Remember that it should be light and fun and teasing. If you can't breeze your way through a conversation, you'd be amazed how far some good old fashioned interest can get you."

"Oh, and if I hear one bad pick-up line, you have to go stand on your head in the corner."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I was completely serious." He was also trying not to laugh. "Chain reaction, many people, lots and lots of fun. Are you likely to accidentally start naming body parts? Because I think the ear collecting might tend to kill the mood. Well, for most people. There was this one girl I met, she had very strange hobbies."

Jeff was having a hard time following this. Mostly because he was trying to picture it and coming up with some really terrifying mental images. "...Well, that's just the way it is, isn't it? Being a man, you can't help it. There's always body parts, and if you lose control, it's all ears, isn't it? Or breasts. Or bottoms." He paused in horror. "Oh, god," he said, "I've given myself arses."

Jack started to snicker. He just couldn't help it, and he peered around behind Jeff. "It's a nice arse, if that's any consolation." He had a feeling it wouldn't be. "I can honestly say I have never had that happen to me. Does this anatomical outpouring happen every time you start flirting?"

"And other times," Jeff said, looking somewhat frantic, "Worse if I've missed the nudity buffer."

"The nudity buffer?" he asked, beginning to wonder exactly what he'd been missing out on. And beginning to be just a wee bit concerned about Jeff. "Maybe you should take a couple of deep breaths."

"I've tried to increase the size of my nudity buffer," Jeff said, figuring that as an expert on these matters Jack would probably know about the buffer, "I'm at three minutes now; I imagine I should probably start looking into nipple type."

Nope, Jack had no clue what Jeff was talking about, but his imagination was leading him down some very entertaining paths. "Is the type of nipple important? Generally I find them all equally appealing, and Jeff?" He tried to be delicate. "Three minutes isn't very long."

"Of course it's important," Jeff said, looking offended, "It's essential to stretch out the buffer, otherwise how else are you going to be able to speak to a woman? It's hard to think of a coherent conversation opener in three minutes, even if you manage something that's not gusset or bicycle saddle or 'Better be careful you don't breathe in too deeply, there's a cremation going on, you may accidentally swallow someone', they think you're overeager."

Jack may have been gaping a little by now, as his imagination took a left turn into confusion. It'd been having fun, too. "Wait, wait," he said, and held up a hand. "Stop. Start again from the beginning. Are you trying to tell you me you can't talk to a woman without mentioning body parts or frogs or cremations? And explain what a nudity buffer is."

In the space of a few minutes, Jeff had gone from flailing to frantic to offended, and at this point, his psyche was backing neatly into 'hapless and mildly desperate'. "The nudity buffer is the time you have between meeting someone and having a mental picture of them naked," he explained. "I don't understand how anyone can have a conversation with someone after that without risking serious injury."

"Ahhh, I see." It was suddenly becoming clear and he looked at Jeff with some sympathy. "Have you tried embracing the nudity? You're stuck with it, it's in your head, why not enjoy it?"

"Is that the way other people do it?" Jeff really wanted to know.

"It's the way I do it," he answered cautiously. "Well, if I'm picturing someone naked, I always enjoy it. But I'm pretty sure that's not the same thing. Does it only happen when you talk to women?"

Jeff was concerned with entirely different issues now. "...If other people do it," he said, some paranoia seeping into his expression and pure alarm seeping into his voice, "Does that mean there might be people embracing my mental nudity right now?"

"I do it," he said, then, seeing where that was going to go, quickly added, "but I'm not!" He wasn't now. "I promise. My mental Jeff is mu-mu clad. I can't even see your hands. And I'm pretty sure you're safe from everyone else. I tend to have a...unique outlook on nudity, at least in this century."

"Okay," Jeff was nodding maybe a little overmuch. And sounding maybe a little squeaky. "There's different outlooks on nudity?" he asked.

Jack grinned at the squeakiness. Jeff was just too adorable. "Last year's Christmas pageant? I was nude on stage, and loving every minute of it. And then again at graduation. That one was the alien's fault, though. I was wearing robes at the start."

[ooc: And I go sleep now. Can pick up in my morning, though!]

Well, that about did it. Jeff stared at Jack with the beginnings of hero worship. "That's amazing," he said, "I could never do that. Never mind the draft and the nudity projection issues, my mother'd find out."

[ okay! ]

"Well, I don't know about amazing," he said modestly. Though it was the sort of modesty that could easily be mistaken for smug. "And of course you could! The trick is to start off slowly, say with shirtlessness, and gradually work your way up to nothing. Your mother's not here, right? How could she possibly find out?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dealing with the Opposite Sex, Friday, Period 2, Class #3

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA

Re: Talk to the TA