How to Be a Comic Book Superhero

[untouchableskin.livejournal.com]

Class met in the Danger Room, which had been modified to look like . . . the front of the Kwik Stop. The class (minus a certain reluctant TA) would arrive to find . . . Jay making out with an inflatable doll.



Oh, this boded well. And by 'well', of course, we mean 'terrifyingly', although uncertain whether an adjective or an adverb is grammatically correct in this instance. Bob was busy handing out various sets of blueprints to his students and when he turned to discover this game of silicone tonsil hockey he snatched the doll away with a glare and whapped Jay across the head with it.

"What the fuckk, Lunchbox?" Jay griped, rubbing the back of his head with a sullen glance. "Not like any of these little fuckers are gonna use it right. You're fucking wasting our stash."

Bob seemed unaffected. He tossed the blow-up doll on top of a stack of similar simulated seductresses and turned back to the class, looking pleased with himself, hands on hips and his utility belt, for once, visible.

Jay leaned against a rickety folding table holding a variety of objects. "Alright, Fatass here wanted you all to know that the topic of today's class is 'Always be prepared'. Like this fatass mothafucka was ever a Boy Scout. I once ate a Brownie, though." He straightened up. "Anyway, take a look at those plans 'cause that's your task today – what the fuck, task? What are you, the fucking elf pansy in the purple robes?"

Bob shook a threatening finger at him and nodded towards the kids, telling him to continue

"Huh. Fine. That tight-ass little bitch with the skunk hair is on top of the Perk." He pointed across the rooftops. "You gotta get from here to there and rescue the chick. Me and my black manservant will get all Sentinel on you’re asses and try and stop you, got it?"

Bob held up a finger – one more thing. He gestured at the table, where there was an array of items, enough for every student to get one of each. He began tucking these things into his trenchcoat, demonstrating that they had to be carried before the task began. The blueprints, with various cracked schemes for success on them (intended as guidelines only – Bob encourages creativity), indicated that the items could be used in completing their task. "Lunchbox is like fucking MacGyver Angus with that shit," Jay added proudly and unnecessarily.

When he was sure that they all understood, Jay and Bob started up the ladder on the side of the Kwik Stop towards the roof. Over his shoulder, Jay shouted the last piece of advice. "Oh, and if you little shits get bored you can totally start fucking each other up."


[ooc: posting for Jay & Silent Bob because the player doesn't have net access at the moment!]

Comments

Rescue the Girl

[untouchableskin.livejournal.com]

Start your grand adventure

Re: Rescue the Girl

[henryoredward.livejournal.com]

Jay had climbed up a ladder, and Bob had given Edward a grappling hook gun, but Edward didn't think that climbing the side of the convenience store would end in any way but him falling off.

So he decided to go inside and take the stairs. Probably better terrain for fighting, anyway.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[silent-robert.livejournal.com]

He would pass a woman sorting milk jugs from a fridge and giving him a baleful look. The access to the roof was open and apparently empty.

Dun dun dun.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[im-afrog.livejournal.com]

Adam took in his surroundings, before deciding to head inside first. Usually his friends were with him and they split up to cover more ground. But they weren't here this time.

So, Adam headed into the building wondering what he mind find there.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[silent-robert.livejournal.com]

Nothing but verbal abuse from the clerk and a sigh. "Kidnapped girls, aisle three. Oh wait. We don't stock those."

Re: Rescue the Girl

[im-afrog.livejournal.com]

"Right," Adam shook his head, not sure what he had thought he'd find in there. He frowned slightly and looked around, trying to see if there was a way up to the roof.

Otherwise, he'd go with the ladder outside.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[silent-robert.livejournal.com]

Passed the woman stacking milk jugs seriously was a door marked 'roof access'.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[im-afrog.livejournal.com]

Adam blinked and stared for a moment or two. Seriously? That seemed a bit too easy, but he went through it.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke began climbing up the ladder. No sense in making this more complicated than necessary, he thought to himself.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[silent-robert.livejournal.com]

To be greeted by Jay bouncing about the roof, spinning a baseball bat in one hand. "Come, son of Jor-El," he intoned. "Kneel before Zod!"

Re: Rescue the Girl

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"...um," Luke said eloquently, "I don't kneel before anyone."

Re: Rescue the Girl

[silent-robert.livejournal.com]

"Snootchies. You gotta get some better dialogue than that."

Re: Rescue the Girl

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"I can't! Lucas sucks! Okay," Luke said slowly. "I'm not the son of Jor-El. I'm the son of Anakin Skywalker, the man who killed a T-Rex because he was bored. I bet that makes him so much better than Jor-El."

Re: Rescue the Girl

[by137.livejournal.com]

There was a ladder, apparently, but they also had a grappling hook. It might not have been the wisest, but, yeah. A.J. couldn't refuse getting use out of a grappling hook if the option was available. It was a freakin' grappling hook, after all.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[silent-robert.livejournal.com]

A.J. totally got points for using the grappling hook.

Bob's foot hit the edge of the roof beside the grappling hook and he peered down.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[by137.livejournal.com]

A.J. looked up and sighed a bit thoughtfully. Then shook his head because his hair was totally getting in his eyes. He took note of where he'd put the sock full of quarters, making sure he could reach it easily, and then braced himself for the climb.

Which might take a while.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[silent-robert.livejournal.com]

Bob lifted his eyebrows thoughtfully.

And began flicked beer caps down at him.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[by137.livejournal.com]

Well, that just wasn't very fair. A.J. thought maybe he could pretend (that's all he ever really did in the class, pretend) that he had a beer cap force field, trudging through them and pretending not to notice as he scaled the wall.

"Ow."

So he wasn't all that great with the pretending, but it was hard to pretend away a beer cap between the eyes, man.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[the_merriest]

Okay, there was a grappling hook, but Rikku was gonna start with the ladder. Hefting the doll and the sock full of quarters while climbing the ladder was difficult, but hey, life was about challenges, right?

Re: Rescue the Girl

[silent-robert.livejournal.com]

More beer caps for Rikku, flipped over the edge of the roof as a diversionary tactic.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[the_merriest]

"Hey!" Rikku called up, glaring at Bob. "You are so gonna get it when I get up there!"

Re: Rescue the Girl

[silent-robert.livejournal.com]

One trenchcoated arm appeared over the edge of the roof and made a bring-it-on type gesture.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[morpherboy.livejournal.com]

Marco glanced around and carefully started climbing the ladder.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[silent-robert.livejournal.com]

If he didn't mind inane guitar solos on mouth and baseball bat, he would continue unhindered until he reached the roof.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[ashockingbitch]

Who actually used a grappling hook these days? Jenny started up the ladder, as it was right there.