http://untouchableskin.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] untouchableskin.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2007-07-23 02:31 pm

How to Be a Comic Book Superhero

Class met in the Danger Room, which had been modified to look like . . . the front of the Kwik Stop. The class (minus a certain reluctant TA) would arrive to find . . . Jay making out with an inflatable doll.



Oh, this boded well. And by 'well', of course, we mean 'terrifyingly', although uncertain whether an adjective or an adverb is grammatically correct in this instance. Bob was busy handing out various sets of blueprints to his students and when he turned to discover this game of silicone tonsil hockey he snatched the doll away with a glare and whapped Jay across the head with it.

"What the fuckk, Lunchbox?" Jay griped, rubbing the back of his head with a sullen glance. "Not like any of these little fuckers are gonna use it right. You're fucking wasting our stash."

Bob seemed unaffected. He tossed the blow-up doll on top of a stack of similar simulated seductresses and turned back to the class, looking pleased with himself, hands on hips and his utility belt, for once, visible.

Jay leaned against a rickety folding table holding a variety of objects. "Alright, Fatass here wanted you all to know that the topic of today's class is 'Always be prepared'. Like this fatass mothafucka was ever a Boy Scout. I once ate a Brownie, though." He straightened up. "Anyway, take a look at those plans 'cause that's your task today – what the fuck, task? What are you, the fucking elf pansy in the purple robes?"

Bob shook a threatening finger at him and nodded towards the kids, telling him to continue

"Huh. Fine. That tight-ass little bitch with the skunk hair is on top of the Perk." He pointed across the rooftops. "You gotta get from here to there and rescue the chick. Me and my black manservant will get all Sentinel on you’re asses and try and stop you, got it?"

Bob held up a finger – one more thing. He gestured at the table, where there was an array of items, enough for every student to get one of each. He began tucking these things into his trenchcoat, demonstrating that they had to be carried before the task began. The blueprints, with various cracked schemes for success on them (intended as guidelines only – Bob encourages creativity), indicated that the items could be used in completing their task. "Lunchbox is like fucking MacGyver Angus with that shit," Jay added proudly and unnecessarily.

When he was sure that they all understood, Jay and Bob started up the ladder on the side of the Kwik Stop towards the roof. Over his shoulder, Jay shouted the last piece of advice. "Oh, and if you little shits get bored you can totally start fucking each other up."


[ooc: posting for Jay & Silent Bob because the player doesn't have net access at the moment!]

Re: Rescue the Girl

[identity profile] silent-robert.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
Passed the woman stacking milk jugs seriously was a door marked 'roof access'.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[identity profile] im-afrog.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
Adam blinked and stared for a moment or two. Seriously? That seemed a bit too easy, but he went through it.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[identity profile] silent-robert.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
That's because Jay was waiting on the other side, doing unspeakable things to a baseball bat while he waited.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[identity profile] im-afrog.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
Adam made it through the door, cautiously, since he didn't know what to expect and certainly wasn't expecting that and wasn't about to assume someone was waiting for him with a baseball bat.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[identity profile] silent-robert.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
He might be aware when there was a bat swinging for his midsection.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[identity profile] im-afrog.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
Which Adam was now aware of and managed to narrowly avoid, by rolling to the side. He was immediately on his feet, dropping to a defensive stance.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[identity profile] silent-robert.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
"Snootchie bootchies, bitch," Jay cackled.

. . . yeah, not entirely there.

Re: Rescue the Girl

[identity profile] im-afrog.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
And that would be Adam staring at Jay, attempting to comprehend what he'd just said. "What?"

Re: Rescue the Girl

[identity profile] silent-robert.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
"It means fuckin' fight me, you fuckin' pansy!"

Re: Rescue the Girl

[identity profile] im-afrog.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
Okay, see? Adam hadn't expected that kind of language from someone who was supposed to be his teacher, but he probably would've been used to it by now if he'd been to the first two sessions. Stupid illness.

Jay had a bat while Adam had, well, nothing quite like that. Though, the Bobarangs might come in handy, to disarm Jay. Which was Adam had one in his hand, while he dropped into a fighting stance. He waited to see if Jay was going to take another swing.