fandomhigh | An Introduction to Mad Science

Once again, the danger room had been set up to look like a creepy lab. This time, tables and chairs had been moved into neat rows, facing a blackboard and a table at the front of the room. A pot of coffee simmered over a heater next to a small stack of styrofoam cups. A weird looking gun-type thing that seemed to be made out of kitchen appliances sat on the table at the front. Once the students had all taken their seats, Professor Tomoe spun to face the class, the usual dramatic lighting shadows in place.

"Good afternoon students!" he said cheerfully. "Today, I'm going to fill you in on the sort of experiments I specialize in, and what type of things we'll do this semester."

He drew a spiky star-like thing on the board and pointed to it. "This is a Pure Heart Crystal. Anyone with a bit of a goody-goody streak to them has one." He grinned excitedly. "But within three of these Pure Heart Crystals, are Talismans. When the three Talismans are found and brought together, they summon a being with enough power to destroy the world."

Here he let out a long, demented sounding laugh before abruptly cutting it off.

"But, the challenge with these is to get the crystals out of the host, preferably without killing them. If it's a dud, there's no reason to keep it. Over the course of this class, you're going to create a monster called a daimon, a type of creature designed to pull out Pure Heart Crystals in a non-lethal way."

He motioned to the gun-like thing. "And this is called a Heart Buster. It was built by one of my--" henchwomen "--assistants as a more direct method of removing Pure Heart Crystals. If anyone would like to see one, I would be more than happy to demonstrate."

He turned his attention back to the class. "Now then, please partner up with another student. I want you to give me a list of five ways you figure out who might be pure of heart enough to be one of the the talisman carriers." His red grin spread from ear to ear. "Surprise me with your creativity."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He's here to answer all your questions!

And maybe cackle more. It's very therapeutic.

Valentine approached the professor after class, somewhat put off at the prospect of having to explain his absence last class, but deciding it would probably be best to clarify that he wasn't skipping the class of an obvious insane genius on purpose.

"You might have noticed that I wasn't here last class," he said, not fidgeting at all, honest. "I had a few technical difficulties involving me mostly not existing at the time. It shan't happen again. I think."

Prof Tomoe looked over the new student. There was a strange face on this one. Must have been another one of those leftover youma. He really wished the Dark Kingdom would take better care in cleaning up after themselves.

"Yes, I've heard that one before," he said, checking the sheet. Hmph, another one with no family name. "Last class, there were introductions and getting-to-know-you activities, so you haven't missed the important bits. If you give me your name, age, interest in mad science, and previous experience with monsters, we'll call it made up."

He grinned evilly again. "And perform a karaoke number. You missed that activity."

"Introductions, right, of course. I'm Valentine, and I'm eighteen years old insofar as I know. I don't know entirely why I'm in this class, but I did take a Science! course in the spring which I found very informative, so I suppose I don't mind being signed up for this while I was ... gone. And do walls of shadows and giant floating black-shadow-bird vomiting heads with tentacles count as monsters, or should I stick with something simpler, like sphinxes and monkeybirds?" He seemed almost thoughtful for all of a moment. "I'm afraid I have no idea what karaoke is, but I'm a performer by trade, so I'm willing to learn?"
What was there to lose?

Although Prof Tomoe had no idea what 'monkeybirds' were, he was somewhat impressed with the length of the list. He'd have to figure out how to get himself some sphinxes and walls of shadows.

Oh, a wall of monsters would be a handy thing to install in Infinity Academy. He jotted a note about that down on his ever-present notepad.

Prof Tomoe pulled out the World's Evilest Karaoke Machine (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhigh/1433595.html?thread=87185659#t87185659) from behind the desk and set it up on the table. "Hit the button, and see what comes up," he said, with a note of maliciousness in his voice.

"Right, button, of course." Valentine looked the machine over, found the button, and was somewhat intrigued to see that, not only was there music without words, but there were words that lit up where the words were supposed to be.
...
"Karaoke," he repeated, as the definition of the word started to sink in. He sighed, restarted the song, and sang along as best he could.

You can tell the world, you never was my girl,
You can burn my clothes when I am gone.
You can tell your friends, just what a fool I've been,
And laugh and joke about me on the phone.

And you can tell my arms, go back into the farm,
You can tell my feet to hit the floor.
You can tell my lips, or tell my fingertips,
They won't be reaching out for you no more.

Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart,
I just don't think he'd understand.
'Cause if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart,
He might blow up and kill this man.

You can tell your ma, I moved to Arkansas,
You can tell your dog to bite my leg.
Or tell your brother Clift, his fist can tear my lip,
He never really liked me anyway.

Tell your Aunt Louise, tell anything you please,
A simple written note is not OK.
You can tell my eyes, but watch out for my mind,
It might be walkin' out on me today.

So don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart,
I just don't think he'd understand.
'Cause if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart,
He might blow up and kill this man.

....

It was horrible.

Valentine decided that he rather liked Karaoke.

Oh, the song was simply wretched. The Professor thrilled at how well the machine worked.

"We'll now consider that has class made up," he said, a bright red grin spreading across his face.

"Excellent," Valentine decided with a clap of his hands and a grin. "I'll be here next class, provided the world doesn't end between now and then."

An Introduction to Mad Science

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