http://bluth-illusions.livejournal.com/ (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
bluth-illusions.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2007-07-15 11:50 pm
bluth-illusions.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2007-07-15 11:50 pm
Entry tags:
Sex Edder #2, Monday, Period 3
When everyone sat down, GOB began class with a strange smile on his face. "Today, kids, we're going to be talking about porn. Specifically physical, magazine porn, the kind you get from shady places that put it in brown paper bags," GOB said. "You know, the stuff that you only get 'for the articles.'" The airquotes were out in full force for that one.
GOB unveiled the dry erase board, revealing the name of this week's lesson. "Porn: Better Literature Than Moby Dick. The Book, Not the Porn Movie. And that is a porno movie."
"Porn is, in a word, awesome. It gives you something to do when you don't have a significant other, it gives you something to think about when you're with your significant other and they're boring or ugly or both, and you can hide it with ease under a mattress. Sure you can get it on the computer, but then your computer gets STDs. And you could watch a video, but then you have to listen to them try to act. I mean, you could mute it, but then it's too quiet and creepy and you have to add your own soundtrack and that's distracting, trying to come up with all that dialogue..."
"So as far as porn is concerned, magazine porn is the best. And trust me, magazine porn has variety. There's porn for all kinds of fetishes. Celebrities, women with big fake boobs, women with big 'real' boobs," the airquotes came out again for that, "all kinds of minorities including probably space aliens, guys, and any kind of weird thing under the sun."
"As far as literature is concerned, porn is better than anything you can rattle off to me. It's shorter, less words, the only symbolism is when two girls are representing lesbians, and the best parts have pictures." This, to GOB, was what separated good literature from great literature. "And if you get caught with it, you can try to pretend to read the articles in it. I'd like to see you try to convince people that you're not reading 'A Tale of Two Cities.'"
"The activity I wanted to do today would get me in trouble with the dean of students, so you're going to have to do something boring. Here I have a bunch of articles torn out of various porn magazines. Movie reviews, interviews with members of the New York Yankees, an article on terrorism, and something about books. Maybe a couple comic strips that think they're funny, too. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Each of you is going to read one of these articles and do an oral -" GOB snickered "-report on it. Tell the class what the article was about, critique it, point out typoes I don't care. Because this is going to be so much more interesting than writing letters to Penthouse about something you did last week only adding a lot of sex to it. Come on!"
[OOC: I have no articles from porn magazines to give you for this. Mod the articles at will! Just keep it relatively clean, please. And "typoes" a joke.]
GOB unveiled the dry erase board, revealing the name of this week's lesson. "Porn: Better Literature Than Moby Dick. The Book, Not the Porn Movie. And that is a porno movie."
"Porn is, in a word, awesome. It gives you something to do when you don't have a significant other, it gives you something to think about when you're with your significant other and they're boring or ugly or both, and you can hide it with ease under a mattress. Sure you can get it on the computer, but then your computer gets STDs. And you could watch a video, but then you have to listen to them try to act. I mean, you could mute it, but then it's too quiet and creepy and you have to add your own soundtrack and that's distracting, trying to come up with all that dialogue..."
"So as far as porn is concerned, magazine porn is the best. And trust me, magazine porn has variety. There's porn for all kinds of fetishes. Celebrities, women with big fake boobs, women with big 'real' boobs," the airquotes came out again for that, "all kinds of minorities including probably space aliens, guys, and any kind of weird thing under the sun."
"As far as literature is concerned, porn is better than anything you can rattle off to me. It's shorter, less words, the only symbolism is when two girls are representing lesbians, and the best parts have pictures." This, to GOB, was what separated good literature from great literature. "And if you get caught with it, you can try to pretend to read the articles in it. I'd like to see you try to convince people that you're not reading 'A Tale of Two Cities.'"
"The activity I wanted to do today would get me in trouble with the dean of students, so you're going to have to do something boring. Here I have a bunch of articles torn out of various porn magazines. Movie reviews, interviews with members of the New York Yankees, an article on terrorism, and something about books. Maybe a couple comic strips that think they're funny, too. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Each of you is going to read one of these articles and do an oral -" GOB snickered "-report on it. Tell the class what the article was about, critique it, point out typoes I don't care. Because this is going to be so much more interesting than writing letters to Penthouse about something you did last week only adding a lot of sex to it. Come on!"
[OOC: I have no articles from porn magazines to give you for this. Mod the articles at will! Just keep it relatively clean, please. And "typoes" a joke.]
Re: During the Lecture [WS2]