fandomhigh | Stabbing People for Fun and Profit: Mercenary Work for Beginners, Monday, Period 4

"Hello impressionable youths of varying species!" Deadpool said, bouncing a little as he bit a large cardboard box down. "Today we are going over the most important part of being a mercenary..."

(Killing people?)

"The outfit!"

(Wow, I am so gay now.)

"Now, an outfit can be used as a trademark or to disguise your identity. For me, it's a trademark and don't you listen to anyone named Spider-Man who tries to tell you otherwise. My outfit is original and unique and just adorable. Now as for hiding an identity, I turn to my T.A., Setsuna!"

Setsuna groaned at her idiot teacher's antics before stepping forward, shaking her head at him.

"Now if I give here this pair of glasses..." He handed over the glasses, waiting for her to put them on.

Oh yeah, he was going to get yelled at for this. Or not allowed alcohol the next time he went to the Nest, or something.

She put the glasses on, still shaking her head at his stupidity.

"Voila! A completely different person!"

(Now she needs a plucky reporter girlfriend.)

He nudged the box o' costumes forward toward the class. "I expect excellent outfits by the end of the class period."

"Oh!" He slapped his forehead. "I almost forgot! This weekend there will be a field trip into the woods with the ninjaing and explosions classes. There will be wackiness abounds, but remember that throwing bombs at teachers is still a bad idea."

[[ooc: ~~Please wait for the~~ OCD is up!]]

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"They're not supposed to work this way," Mel said shifting slightly and looking uncomfortable. "Who would wear this kind of thing anyway?"

This is of course coming from a girl usually wearing torn tank tops that show off her midriff.

"A trapeze artist?" Charlie offered. "I mean, I can see an advantage to stuff not being loose enough to catch on anything. Or give someone fighting you a grip. But that, that's...." She stared at Mel's chest for a second, then down at her own. "I'm feeling inadequate, here."

She tried on one of the dresses, then blinked. "Okay, this is weird. I don't get how this would help fight either."

"I swear they weren't this big before I put it on," Mel replied. "And who the hell needs this many pouches?"

"You could put weapons in them?" Charlie said, looking interested. "But I think it would pull the whole outfit down to wear that belt."

Mel shrugged as she tried on the belt, which did not appear to fit yet seemed to hang off either one side of her hip or the other.

"Well this would be annoying to walk around in."

"There's no room for pockets on that outfit, though," Charlie said. "I mean, you couldn't even slip your driver's license in that cleavage. Do those hurt?" she asked, unable not to.

"No. But there's no way I'm trying on those boots," she said pointing toward the mid-thigh boots with three inch stiletto heels that apparently went with her outfit. "Because I'd break my neck in those."

Charlie picked one up, and turned it over and over, then shook her head. "And ankle at least, yeah. They're hooker boots! Like Julia Roberts in Beautiful Girl. I want to be taller, but I don't wanna die." She put it back down, and stared at her dress again, wondering, "So if they're looking at my chest and don't remember my face, does that count as a disguise?"

"Yes. Much liked glasses will completely change your identity, boobs have the magic power of protecting yours," Mel agreed. "Unless you have female arch-enemies. Then I suggest a mask."

Charlie started giggling. "Like some kind of vigilante stripper?"

"I think We'd have to wear less than this to be vigilante strippers."

Mel looked at her outfit again.

"Not by much."

"Especially if you got in a fight. Shred one thing, and hello, public exposure of a whole new kind."

Stabbing People for Fun and Profit: Mercenary Work for Beginners, Monday, Period 4

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