fandomhigh | Tuesday, June 12th - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to Phrenology, Horse-Raising, and Squids

Anyone hoping that the Jerries would be mysteriously absent this week were to be sadly disappointed. Jerry Sizzler - and his sister, Jerry Sizzler! - were in the Danger Shop ~~this always said Danger Shop, which they handwavily told you all to assemble at, Jerry!~~ bright and early on Tuesday. It was entirely possible that they had spent the night there. Perhaps several nights. It would certainly explain the lingering smell of turnip cake.

"Good morning!" cried one Jerry, throwing a handful of confetti. "Welcome to the Olympics!"

"We have exclusive coverage, Jerry!"

"If you see the other networks here, stab them!"

"You may stab them with the specially provided bank deposit slips," added one Jerry helpfully.

"Our first event today is very special indeed, Jerry."

"Is the cameraman getting this, Jerry!?"

"We will zoom in close, for a montage!"

And this would be where one Jerry trained the nonexistent camera on the other's nose hair for three minutes while talking in an undertone about overcoming adversity. The Jerry being filmed stuck a finger in his ear and began reciting noun infinitives in Swedish.

It was a very touching montage.

"For our first event!" cried one Jerry.

"Yes! We must solve ... the mystery!"

Both Jerries grabbed flashlights and flicked them on under their chins, while making wailing noises. It's possible the Jerries didn't realize it was daytime, or that nobody was telling a ghost story. You didn't like to ask, some times.

"Yes! Go round to the exhibits, Jerry! All of the evidence and clues are here!" explained one Jerry.

The other Jerry was still wailing, although a few "ooga-chucka"s got thrown in from time to time.

"Only you can tell us who the culprit is!" cried one Jerry.

"Only you can prevent forest fires!" announced the other, stopping mid-"ooga chucka".

"Only you can play with matches!"

"Only you can play with my heart, darling!"

"Jerry! I never!"

Yet again, class was delayed for a few minutes while the Jerries attempted to strangle on another. Take a shot!

"Jerry!" cried one Jerry. "The investigation!"

"The investments!"

"The investables!"

"The vests!"

"Gather the clues, Jerry!" said one Jerry, with a sweep of his hands.

"Make us proud!"

"And remember, you are all competing in the World Championship Olympics!"

"Reach for your dreams!"

"Or someone else's dreams!"

"Steal their dreams!"

"Steal their hairnets!"

"We believe in you," said one Jerry, nodding solemnly.

That was perhaps far less reassuring than it was intended to be.

(~~the OCD, ooooh baby, it's coming, it's coooooming ...~~ OCD up. Sanity removed. Let us begin.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Isabel raised an eyebrow. "Is there something on my face?"

Warren blinked. "No, no, nothing at all wrong with your face. Your lovely, lovely face."

"Okay," she said slowly. "Thanks. I'm Isabel, you are?"

"Wow, that's a beautiful name," Warren muttered, then he seemed to collect himself. "I'm Warren. Um, Warren Cheswick. Hi."

"Nice to meet you Warren," Isabel smiled. "What brings you to Fandom?" She glanced at the Jerries, "Our rather unique educational opportunities?"

"I just wanted out of my parents' house for the summer. I have to say, the brochure could do a lot more to warn a poor normal kid from Ohio that this place was going to make his brain implode."

"Oh but where's the fun in that?" she asked. "Then you'd expect the weirdness. Instead now it's like a never ending rollercoaster."

"A never ending rollercoaster filled with humiliation and brain-pain?"

"That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger?" Isabel replied.

"See, I always thought that was just a myth."

"So were demons, vampires and magic," she told him. "Then I met Angel and Bel."

Warren didn't, in fact, notice that she left out aliens from that list. "You didn't have those where you're from, either?"

"Nope," Isabel said. "I'm from Roswell. The only thing we had were aliens."

"Ah." Warren nodded knowingly. Then blinked. "Wait, like, the Roswell? So . . . you're saying . . . all that stuff is true, too?"

"The Roswell," she nodded seriously. "It's not just a tourist racket. It's all true."

Warren narrowed his eyes. "Do you work for the government?"

Isabel shuddered. "Oh hell no. I'm about as far from working for the government as you can get.""

Warren frowned. "Then how do you--OHHHHHHH."

Yes, sometimes he's moderately quick. Kind of.

"I think this is the part where I'm supposed to say Take me to you leader," she teased.

"That's how it goes in the movies . . . so you're seriously a . . . you know,"

"I am an alien-human hybrid," Isabel shrugged. "A little human DNA mixed with some alien extra and here I am."

"Wow. I didn't know they, er, came that way."

"You were expecting little green men?"

"From Roswell they're supposed to be gray. I think."

Tuesday, June 12th - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to Phrenology, Horse-Raising, and Squids

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