janet_fraiser: (Default)
janet_fraiser ([personal profile] janet_fraiser) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2005-09-07 02:53 pm
Entry tags:

Never Volunteer

Posted in response to Library Rules of Conduct by [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com].

Janet stands by the door outside the library, sipping her coffee and reading the rules. Finally she stops, sighs, and chugs the rest of the cup before tossing it in a wastebasked helpfully set next to the doors. She walks into the library, rolls her eyes at the horde of students milling around the desk and eyes someone official-looking--if by 'official' you meant 'carries a large sword and fits the description of the librarian'--slipping off into the stacks with a desperate air.

"Some kind of place we have here," she mutters, making her way through the crowd by use of judicious elbowing where needed, going behind the desk, and hunting for a library form. She raises an eyebrow at a stack of half-complete forms filled out in various colors of sparkly ink and crayon, along with a few that are reasonably complete and one that seems to have been finger-painted. The one that finds completed in human blood she pitches directly into the waste basket with an eyeroll. Luckily, a box of forms isn't difficult to find, nor is a box of pens and a few empty inboxes.

She's been in the Air Force. She knows damn well not to volunteer for anything. But Janet hates disorder and she's going to do something about it.

She catches Ms. Sidle's eyes, grins briefly, and then clambers onto the counter and looks over the crowd. "All right, people, let's keep it down!" she yells, her hands on her hips.

The crowd slowly--and reluctantly--quiets under Janet's glare. "Line up," she says, using the tone of voice she reserves for recalcitrant patients. "Take a blank form--I don't care if you've filled it out already, too many of you thought you'd be funny with the paperwork and didn't do it right. Then take a pen--blue or black ink only is acceptable here, people--and fill out the form. Fill it out completely and correctly."

She raises an eyebrow at someone who looks about to protest.

"To those of you who filled the form out right the first time, thank you," she says. "Sorry to have to make you do this again, but the forms have been contaminated by bodily fluids--" She glares at someone who snickers. "Get your mind out of the gutter; we have demon worshippers who think a library contract is valid if they fill it out in human blood."

She surveys the crowd one final time. "Hand your form over to me. I'll make sure it's complete, then make sure Professor Methos gets all of them when he decides it's safe to come out of hiding. Got it?"

[identity profile] equalsmcsquared.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Nicely done, Janet. *grins--fills out a new form*

[identity profile] prof-methos.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Ms. Frasier. Want a job?

[identity profile] courier-gavin.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Jake banged his head against nearest bookshelf, ignoring the whine coming from one of the students nearby about "don't hurt the books!". Did he really need a library card that much? He'd done it just right the first time around! Admittedly in crayons, but... He surrendered to the inevitable and attempted to make his way through the crowd once more.

[identity profile] teenaged-twin.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 08:40 pm (UTC)(link)
*hadn't gotten a form yet*

*snickers and grabs two, as Connor will probably need to redo his*
chasingangela: (Default)

[personal profile] chasingangela 2005-09-07 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
*Eyes Janet warily*

This is mine ... I think it's all right?

[identity profile] miss-thomasina.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
*Hands Janet a form: done in ink in a fine, neat hand*

I hadn't turned mine in before you relieved Professor Methos. I hope this is alright.

[identity profile] mparkerceo.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 09:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Parker scans the room. "What happened to Librarian Hotness? Did he get eaten by the books, or what?"

(Anonymous) 2005-09-07 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Oops, I did mine in purple ink. First pen I grabbed and whatnot. Better than blood, though. I guess I'll need a new one.

And before you say it, it is my real name.

[identity profile] the-envious-sin.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
*hands Janet his form* It's completed. When should I expect to get the card?

[identity profile] the4thsister.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 10:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Here you go *hands over completed form* so can I get books out now?

[identity profile] b-someone.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Balian walks up to the counter and puts his form on it lightly, hands almost coming up off the table before he puts them back down on the counter. The writing on it is cramped and complicated, carolingian perfection. "I, um. Is this alright, Miss? I will do it again, if you want me to."

[identity profile] 2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
*Hands over his form with an innocent smile*

Hey there Doc, you get zapped to?

[identity profile] anextimeagent.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 11:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Signed, sealed, and delivered. :::hands over form::: Although I don't really see me hanging around the library much, it always pays to have all your options covered.

::::doesn't leer::::: ::::no, really!::::::

[identity profile] taylorjustin.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
*fills out the necessary forms and hands them over to the librarian.*

[identity profile] bluemanoncampus.livejournal.com 2005-09-07 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
My apologies. Here is my re-done application.
::hands over application::

[identity profile] positive-angel.livejournal.com 2005-09-08 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
Mine is done. You'll notice I used black ink just like you said to. My handwriting is neat, you can also see that. *points and hands the application in* Thank you!

[identity profile] redginny.livejournal.com 2005-09-08 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
"Here's the form."

She fingers the paper before handing it over. "Neat paper. Nice and flat, and that pen I borrowed works great!" Looks out the window and checks out the angle of the sun. "Oh, no -- I'm late for class! See you later!"

[identity profile] magitekboy.livejournal.com 2005-09-08 12:50 am (UTC)(link)
Aahhhrgr. I have to do it again? I'm too good for this place, really I am.

*snaps a pencil in two* *grabs an empty form and disappears behind a bookshelf with much grumbling*

[identity profile] writer-jo.livejournal.com 2005-09-08 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
I sigh and hand in a redone application. "Is that all? Do I have to do it again, just for kicks?"

[identity profile] emo-padawan.livejournal.com 2005-09-08 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
*sighs, hands over the form again*

Just like the Council here, with the redundency. Well, and the sarcasm and the potential death in every moment.

I'm feeling quite at home here. Really.

[identity profile] 02maxwell.livejournal.com 2005-09-08 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
Hey I thought mine was fine the first time! Nothing like people signing in blood to make extra paperwork...

*hands over fresh new form*

[identity profile] smallfry-.livejournal.com 2005-09-08 10:15 am (UTC)(link)
*runs in*

Here you go, miss!

*hands you completed form*

I hope I got all the details right

[identity profile] radekzelenka.livejournal.com 2005-09-08 04:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Radek raises an eyebrow at the hoard of people in the library. He never figured this many people would enjoy reading books. Shaking his head, he walks over and hands his application to Janet. "Here is my form. I hope my words are correct." He holds up a Czech to English dictionary. "I have never had to use my English so much."

[identity profile] isnotimportant.livejournal.com 2005-09-08 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I need to get a library card before I can get a book? I need to fill out some forms?

Oh, one form. That's much better than it was where I came from. And you look nothing like a vogon, which is excellent.

Oh dear, "address", that's a bit complicated. Will [livejournal.com profile] fandom_lounge do? I haven't really sorted out my accommodation yet.

*drops half-completed card into tray*

*wanders off*

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/___lily_evans_/ 2005-09-08 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
*turns in perfectly legible form*

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