fandomhigh | Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, June 11, 2nd period]

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stupid people

Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, June 11, 2nd period]

Josh leaned up against a desk in the Danger Room, hands in his pocket and a grin on his face.

"President Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House, had a big block of cheese and I can't believe I'm giving this speech," he began. "He did not, sadly, have a cracker the size of Lake Tahoe. I checked. My old boss, the White House Chief of Staff, used this folksy excuse to make us all talk to total crackpots once a year and today that privilege falls to you."

He waved his hands. "Pick a desk, make yourself comfortable, the computer'll drop someone insane off to talk to you. Try not to laugh in their faces--they're all based on real people. Um, sadly."

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"Why haven't you done more to get the alien from the planet Zanadu off of my lawn?" a man demanded, stomping into Hermione's lawn. "I've written you about it every week."

"I'm very sorry," Hermione says, and it's so terrifying she's just coming up with this stuff now, "I've put the paperwork through to all the proper channels. I made a call about it just this morning to follow up."

"Make another one," the man said curtly, sitting down in a chair. "I'll wait."

"Sir, if I make another call, that will actually hold things up. See, they're going to have to spend time talking to me that could otherwise be spent processing your request," she answers.

"...really?" the man replied, clearly confused by Hermione's logic. "Oh."

He looked sad. "Can I have a donut or something?"

"There's some coffee, if you'd like," says Hermione, who figures he can have hers. Like he needs caffeine. "I promise, as soon as I hear anything, I'll contact you personally."

"I knew you had a file on me!" he said triumphantly, snagging Hermione's coffee mug. "What's the FBI say about me? It's bad, isn't it?"

Dammit. "Nothing but good things, I'm sure," she says cheerfully. "All I have access to is your contact information so we could let you know as soon as we had news."

The man looked disappointed. "Really?"

"Yes," she says firmly.

"Not even the thing with the underwear and the pig and the pogo stick and I-70?" he whispered.

"I've never see any mention of it," she says honestly. She doesn't want to, either. Wow.

"Or the goatherder costume and the Wombat Liberation Front?"

"...No," she says slowly.

"Or the People Opposed to the Oppression of Parsnips?" He looked concerned. "I associate with dangerous people..."

No, he didn't.

Hermione's causes are so much better. They are. "If I don't have access to this information, you might not want to be telling me this, sir."

The man immediately put a finger over his lips. "Excellent point," he agreed. He glanced hopefully at the phone. "They'll be calling today?"

She wouldn't be in this class still later today. "Yes," she says confidently.

The man got comfortable in his chair. "Then I'll wait here until they do," he said happily.

...Bloody hell. "We have your home number. If we call that number and you're here, you'll miss that phone call entirely."

"...That is a good point," the man said, reluctantly standing up. "Can I keep the mug?"

If it'll get him out of there. "Sure. Enjoy."

"Thanks," he chirped, then skipped out of the room.

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Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, June 11, 2nd period]

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