fandomhigh | Tuesday, June 5th - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to watching the Jerries be crazy

This week, the Activities Area was set up differently. There were easels set in a circle around the room. In the center was a mattress with a few pillows on it.

"Welcome!" cried one Jerry.

"Welcome, tax accountants and Frisbee Olympic stars!"

"We have no bowling shoes for you this week!"

"No! Because this week, we feel it is time that we get serious about our art."

Both Jerries nodded solemnly. "But only if you are mature enough to handle it, Jerry! There will be no childish giggling in here! Or we shall send you right out!"

"There will be no rotary chickens here! For this week, we are sketching ..."

"The NUDE!"

"Behold!" Both Jerries wave their hands to the mattress triumphantly. The empty mattress.

"And now begin!"

"Jerry, wait!" One Jerry gasped. "Our model has been stolen!"

"The donkeys stole our model!?"

"Our model has drowned the donkeys!?"

"Our model is still in the closet!"

"Ah, yes." Jerry ran over to a closet and appeared to be involved in a deep conversation with its inhabitant. "She wants a raise, Jerry."

"Fine, fine," said the other Jerry dismissively. "She's paid until Thursday anyway, tell her we shall pay an extra can of sardines and she can borrow the hairdryer."

"Jerry," said one Jerry sternly. "We have no hairdryer."

"Jerry!" The other Jerry waved frantically. "She doesn't need to know that!"

"Ahhhhh. Very smart, Jerry!"

"Thank you!" And the Jerry by the mattress bowed while the other Jerry dragged their model out of the closet. (LINK IS NWS.)

Jerry set the model - who looked suspiciously like a very cheaply made blow-up doll - on the mattress.

"Now begin! Or we shall release the hounds!"

"Or the models!"

"Or the sardines!"

"Not the sardines, Jerry!"

"Yes! The sardines!"

"It is a madhouse!"

(~~Wait for the OCD, or the Jerries will release the sardines.~~ The OCD is up, but I can't make any promises about the sardines...)

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Do not objectify her, Jerry! Sketch her in her natural alabaster beauty! Capture her self as more than just a collection of shapes! Make sure you get the plug where the air-pump goes!

Valentine added a mask as he drew her face. Granted, it looked rather like a five-year-old had drawn it, but he was going to add one, anyhow. Even blow-up dolls without masks were hideous.

"We like your use of color, Jerry."

"We feel the fuschia adds something to her skin tone!"

"Yes, indeed. Especially the fuschia that you didn't use."

The Jerries weren't entirely sure what color fuschia was, anyway.

Cedric couldn't really draw so his nude figure was a stick figure with long, flowing hair and some bumps in the right places...he hoped.

The Jerries stopped for a moment, examining his sketch.

"A cubist approach."

Both nodded.

"A daring choice, Brick. But it could cost you in the lightning round."

Both nodded again.

Really, the astonishing thing was that they remembered he was Brick.

Katara was staring too much at the blow-up doll to really do much in the sketching department. Possibly because she was hurting her brain trying to figure out why someone would have one.

"Jerry," said one Jerry. "She is painting with her mind."

Both Jerries gasped, and stood back, watching Katara carefully.

Hey, maybe she was The One. Bird whistles could be wrong.

She nodded regally to them and turned back to her staring.

Possibly she was mimicking a certain Fire Nation Prince she knew.

The Jerries had a quick conference. A few words could be overheard, such as "pedestrian", "pediatrician", and "pedometer."

After that, one Jerry walked up to Katara and bowed low, speaking in a low, urgent whisper.

"We surrender, Your Majesty. We will bring the ships 'round at once. Please do not hurt us."

Katara stared and then giggled. "You may do so, Jerry. I accept your surrender."

"Thank you, Your Eminence."

One Jerry shook his head and muttered, "I shall never underestimate Norway again."

Donnie sketched carefully, trying not to think about the doll too hard. It wasn't a terrible drawing, but it wasn't very pretty, either.

The Jerries looked at Donnie, and then at the sketch, and then at Donnie again.

"He has invented the steam engine," whispered one Jerry.

Both applauded.

"But Jerry, how will we patent it?"

"We must tiptoe into his house and steal his brain," said the other.

Probably louder than they realized.

Donnie glanced at them, eyes wide. "You can't have my brain," he told them. "I like it just where it is!"

Jerry rolled his eyes. "We need it, Jerry!"

"For science!"

"For art!"

"For the Renaissance!"

"For the Renaissance Fair!"

"For the Science Fair!"

"It was to be our project, Jerry!"

"We shouldn't like to fail that class again."

"You can ask me to use my brain for you, but you can't have it," Donnie said firmly.

Re: Sketch the nuuuuuuuuuuude!

sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com - 2007-06-06 05:20 (UTC) - Expand

Warren? Drawing a turnip.

He was hoping for bonus points from the clearly insane people running the class.

"Don't forget," said one Jerry, "to preheat your oven."

"Yes, very important. Otherwise your sketch won't dry."

"Imagine that! A wet sketch!"

"When you sat on it, you would ruin your new pants."

"What would father say!?"

Molly wasn't even looking at the model. In fact, she'd turned her easel to get different lighting.

The Jerries observed her, nodding.

"You see," said one Jerry. "This is what happens when our children watch too much violent television."

"It's ever so nice," agreed the other.

"We shall begin showing films to the children 'round the clock!"

"For the children!"

"For the children!"

"We will begin with Citizen Kane!"

"Brilliant, Jerry!"

Sokka certainly LOOKED the artist, as he kept holding his thumb out at arm's length to get a sense of proportion, biting his lip while staring at the model intently, furrowing his brow and letting his tongue hang out as he worked hard, and hurriedly covering over his drawing any time he thought someone else was looking.

"Hmmmmm." One Jerry leaned over his shoulder, squinting.

"Jerry, he's never going to finish at this rate."

"We shall be charged an extra studio fee!"

"Hurry up, Steve!"

"You must shade in more than just her tatas!"

"Lovely shading on the tatas, though."

"Oh, yes, indeed."

(mod with permission, hee ♥)

"It's not DONE yet!" Sokka shouted, flailing and trying to block their view of his masterpiece.

Luna saw the model.

She began to paint (http://artpad.art.com/?jj71z31ch7gw) with the finger paints and clarinet reeds.

Jerry stopped, gasping. "Why, Jerry!"

The two looked at Luna, and then the painting, and the model again.

"She is a prodigy!"

"So life-like, Jerry!"

"It speaks to me."

"It says, 'I would like a hamburger!'"

"It does, I can hear it!"

"Do you suppose they're serving hamburgers today?"