Sex Ed the GOB Bluth Way #3, Monday, Period 3

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

GOB was wearing a black graduation morterboard today. He was trying to look very professorly because today he was faking it. "It," in this case, being "a basic knowledge of advanced math."

"Today, students, we're going to be talking about Algebra in Sex!" GOB said, uncovering the dry erase board. He pulled out a pointing stick and pointed to the equation on the board as he read it. "2 + U = Yippee! In this equation, U stands for you, and Yippee! is what you'll be saying when you solve this. That's right, we're talking threesomes."

"The threesome has many names. The French call it a 'ménage à trois.' Christians call it a 'Holy Trinity.' But I call it 'a lot of fun if it's me and two women.' If it's me, a woman, and another guy, I call it 'kind of creepy'." GOB didn't realize that most people would call that 'too much information.'

"It's a lot like regular sex, only with another person involved. The extra person can either rub or suck (or lick, which is 'tongue rubbing,' don't forget) while the first two are busy doing better stuff. Don't think it's not as important. It can make everything feel that much better. Or if you position your bodies right, everyone can be involved in ways that the school board won't let me demonstrate with videos, so take a look at these stick figures."

GOB flipped the the board around and, sure enough, there were several stick figure diagrams. Fortunately, GOB's stick figure art was terrible and you'd really have to squint your eyes, look at things the right way, and have some idea what they could be to begin with to figure out what the diagrams were showing.

GOB's complete lack of artistic talent likely saved a lot of trauma and his job as a workshop instructor.

"Now, your job today is to team up with another person and then try to convince somebody else to be part of your '6-4-3 triple play,' which is what baseball players call it. Again, since the school board is filled with wusses who don't have the guts to let kids simulate hooking up for a 'parent-teacher conference,' you'll be trying to get them to do something else. Something more 'innocent,' whatever that means. Pair up!"

[OOC: This workshop is what we call "totally cheating to keep from going over the NSFW line." Please wait for OCD.]

Comments

Sign In [WS3]

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

Collapse, please!

Re: Sign In [WS3]

[surferboy-09er.livejournal.com]

Dick Casablancas

Re: Sign In [WS3]

[keds-champion.livejournal.com]

Pam Beesly

During the Lecture [WS3]

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

Take notes, ignore GOB, talk, try to figure out what the hell those stick figures are doing, whatever you'll do while the teacher is talking.

Re: During the Lecture [WS3]

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

Johnny was peering hard at the dry erase board.

Re: During the Lecture [WS3]

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

In what's becoming a weekly ritual, Isabel was facepalming.

Re: During the Lecture [WS3]

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

Once Inara got past the mental images of GOB having sex with...anyone, she was surprised to find that there wasn't too much she could find fault with, as far as the lesson was concerned.

That was probably helped by her decision not to look at the stick figures too closely.

Re: During the Lecture [WS3]

[senor-chado.livejournal.com]

Yeah, of course, despite probably his common sense, Chad was really trying to figure out what those stick figures were representing, too.

Re: During the Lecture [WS3]

[henryoredward.livejournal.com]

Henry spent a minute trying to discern what was on the board. When teachers wrote things down, it was a sure sign that it was supposed to go in the notes. He got one of the stick figures drawings. Just one.
But that was all it took.
Henry fell into what was quickly becoming a familiar routine with these lectures. He stared at his notebook and tried hard to ignore the lesson.
He was really worrying about his grade at this point.

Activity! Pair up!

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

Five groups of two, please.

Group 1

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

"Group 1, you will be trying to convince a third person to play Chinese Checkers."

Re: Group 1

[senor-chado.livejournal.com]

Hey, Chinese Checkers were cool, he was good at the game, they could be used as a possible euphamism for something else, but not obvious enough that, outside of class, it would get a cricket bat to his face. So Chad went with this group and waited to see who might be interested in teaming up.

Although two-against-one Chinese Checkers didn't sound very fair, if you thought about it.

Group 2

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

"Group 2, you will be trying to convince a third person to fly kites."

Group 3

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

"Group 3, you'll be trying to convince somebody to play Monkey in the Middle. Have a dodgeball to play with."

GOB tossed over a dodgeball to one of the group members.

Re: Group 3

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Zack tossed the skull ball idly from hand to hand.

Group 4

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

"Group 4, you'll be trying to convince somebody to form a study group."

Group 5

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

"Group 5, you'll be trying to get somebody to help you petition the school board and the police in this lousy town to let me let you try to hook up in class."

Activity! The Third Wheels

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

If you want to be pursued by a group or if all of the groups are filled, please ping in here.

"Groups, you can pursue more than one person for separate threesomes, but stick with one at a time. We don't want orgies. Oh, and if anyone tells the new cop in town that I tried to have you have sex with frogs or turtles besides our Furry friend, I will make your life a living hell, you liar."

Re: Activity! The Third Wheels

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

Inara read a book as she waited for a group to come pursue her.

Re: Activity! The Third Wheels

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

For some reason Willow felt instinctively drawn to this group. Perhaps it was her gut instinct to want to explain that it was being a fifth wheel. Or that's the instinct she would have if she was Deadpool. Since she wasn't, she just waited.

Re: Activity! The Third Wheels

[notajar]

Door did the chatting up last time... and technically failed at it... so this time she waits about to be chatted.

Talk to GOB [WS3]

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

Before or after class, if you'd like to complain or maybe invite him into insert double entendre here.

Re: Talk to GOB [WS3]

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow waited after class. "Hi Mr. GOB!"

OOC [WS3]

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

This one's kind of nuts, I know. And I'll actually be around for it! Hooray for Memorial Day!

Re: OOC [WS3]

[sonofdragons.livejournal.com]

*regrets not signing up for Sex Ed* Damn you, workshop schedule, and your multiple enticing options!